Day four with the Golden Jerk and some farm animals

Saturday morning we got up at the crack ass of dawn and headed to the Exotic Zoo Ranch in Johnson city TX. Well truth be told we got up early went to Cole's basketball game. Came home, dragged ass for awhile and then headed to the zoo. As soon as Twisty gets there she is acting up. You can't take that girl anywhere. I just feel sorry for the poor animals she violated. Not to mention what a fine example she sets for my kiddos.

All I got to say about this is.......Monkey see Monkey do!

Ohhhh, we think we are soooo funny! All I can say about this one is we are screaming LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME! This may just be a cry for help.

We are off to take the tram ride where the animals chase you. I guess Twisty wanted to get into true farm girl character with those braids.

Twisty looks a little freaked out by this big beast. The Golden Jerk is all good though.

Where's the damn peanut butter???????? I can honestly say I was a little taken back by this guys tongue.

This place was fantastic. Anyone who lives in this area should visit this place. It's well worth the money.

I think the Golden Jerk may follow in my foot steps. Check out the animals following behind her. Total animal attraction. She better be careful though, some animals are hard to train.

I must admit this was a little scary! A giant camel poking it's head in right next to ya. The funny thing about this camel is it had giant balls. Twisty decided it was a good idea to point this fact out to my boys. Like I said.....can't take that girl anywhere.

CAN WE HAVE ONE.........HELL NO! That was until I heard you don't have to pay taxes out here if you have goats on your land. I went home tried to talk Hub's into selling our house for a farm. That went over like a fart during sex.Later that night Twisty, my friend Jen, and I headed out to Austin for ladies night. We went to a few fun little places for some beers. Twisty even had two even though she doesn't drink. After the first two bars we were ready to do some dancing. We went to this club where the dance floor was see through and there were sharks swimming under us. Right away we are approached by some cheesy ass guy who looks to old to be in the club. He is probably about my age. This guy won't leave us alone. While he is boring the hell out of us he mentions there is a gay bar next door. So we head to the gay bar for some great dancing, fantastic music, and good people watching. Gay people are some of my favorite people for they are all so happy and nice. So were on the dance floor rockin out to Lady GAGA and Katy Perry songs. The next thing I know there is a guy dancing behind me. It's all good he is gay and he just thinks I'm a great dancer. That is until his hands end up all over my ass literally. Twisty looks over and says......your not gay are you?????? He replies...um NO. WTF, Seriously???????? Why the hell would a straight guy hang out here??????? We came to get away from this. We head out shortly after this. Damn straight guy had to ruin our fun!

So since I'm am behind on my blog as I am in my life, I posted this picture from today. This is Blake...AKA...Who the hell are you ....with stitches and crutches. So lets rewind a bit. Tuesday morning I was woken up at 4am by Twisty telling me Cole...Aka...Drama ....was puking. What I love about this normally drama queen is when he is sick there is zero drama. By the time I got up to him he had puked and put himself back to bed. So I check on him and go back to bed. 6:56 is is puking again...I know the exact time because he tells me he looked at the clock when he got up to puke. Once again he puts himself back to bed with no drama. I get up a little tired from not getting an uninterrupted night of sleep to get the other two ready for school. Now I usually go back to bed in the Vegas style room. Not today, I have to take my brother...aka..lost in translation ......to a job my friend got for him. Love having my bro here BTW! I drop him off in my PJ's and head home for some sleep.

Later that day I have to take Twisty and the Golden Jerk to the airport to go home. I'm really sad and cry all the way home. The trip went way to fast as usual. I really wish Twisty and me lived close to each other.....DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE??????? I get home at about the same time as Blake. His friend comes over and he tells me they are going to another friends house. I am on my way to take my brother to the workout center in our hood when I get a phone call. It's Blake's friend telling me Blake had an accident and it's bad. I drive over already feeling sick to my stomach. I find Blake on the sidewalk bleeding all over the place with a cut on his ankle that is really deep. Me I'm not so good at this stuff, Thank God my bro is there. I already feel sick to my stomach and dizzy. I leave my brother with Blake so I could run home to get a wet rag to put over the wound. While driving home that damn song...I need a vodka drink...is running through my head! The funny thing is I don't touch hard liquor. I need a beer drink just doesn't sound right though. When I get back there is a girl stopped with him that I know. OMG, she is a nurse....PERFECT...is what I think at first. She is cleaning his wound and rapping it up. She tells me he definitely needs to go to the hospital for stitches. Then she starts in on this.....I see you boys out there on these bikes without helmets all the time, please use your helmets. Me I'm standing there feeling like Mom of the year once again but about two feet tall.



Anywho, I get Blake in the car and call Hub's in hysterics. He is only ten minutes away thank God. I just don't handle stuff like this well at all. Sometimes I wonder why God gave me jackass boy babies. Now I wouldn't trade them for a billion dollars but for God sakes why can't they be book worms instead of dare devils?????? Blake is in the back of my car pretty much screaming in pain. I'm to chicken shit to even look at this shit. Once again thank God my brother is here. I run in the house call Hub's and yell please hurry up. He is like.....He's not dying get a hold of yourself. Hub's gets home and my brother and him take Blake to the emergency room. Me, I'm still sick to my stomach and dizzy wondering if I need to go to the emergency room, for me!Hub's sends me some pics from there of the wound. At this point that song....I had a bad day is going through my mind. Anywho three hours later they get back with stitches and crutches. This for me means less sleepy time. Now I will have to take and pick this kid up from school. Never a days rest here in LaLa land! Calgon????????????