Baby Jack ass!

So Wednesday I have to drive Blake....aka....???? to and from school. Since he is on crutches it's hard for him to ride the bus. My brother Joe...aka....lost in translation is staying with us for a while. I ask Joe to keep an eye on Cole and Aidan while I pick up Blake. Blake's school is not a hop, skip, and a jump away. After I pick him up I take advantage of having a built in babysitter and stop at the grocery store. When I get home I pull in the driveway and see the skateboard ramp at the end. Now our driveway drops off about four feet or more at the end. I'm sitting there thinking to myself this can't be good. I walk in and yell for Cole and Aidan.....aka....dumb and dumber. I see Joe in the kitchen and ask why the HELL that ramp is on the end of the driveway. His response......I got pictures and video, do you want to see?????? Um yeah, I'd like to see this. The picture above says it all. So I ask Joe why he let them do that. He tells me it was only Cole and Cole told him he was allowed. Joe says.....I didn't think that looked right. NO SHIT, next time go with your gut! For God sakes we were just in the ER the night before. I'm thinking I may need something like a speed pass for the ER. Not to mention I can only imagine all the neighbors that drove by at home talking shit about me being Mom of the year. I DON'T IN ANY WAY CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR, SO PLEASE PUT YOUR INVISIBLE GAVELS DOWN.

Hub's gets home right as I'm setting Cole's ass straight. I tell him your not going to believe what this guy did! Cole looks at me and says.......Please don't show Dad the video. I look at him and say your the one who let your uncle tape the crime dumbo. So I call Joe over to show Hub's the footage of my baby Jack ass. He looks at the video shakes his head and walks away without saying a word. Now I know Hub's and this is not going to be pretty for this baby Jack ass. They have to leave right away for Basketball practice so they have a little come to Jesus talk in car. This new.....LOOK AT ME, generation of kids are not the brightest bunch of kids. I would never let someone video me doing something I shouldn't. Well on second thought maybe I should leak a sex tape and get a reality show. All I can think of is when they put me in a padded cell I hope these Jack asses are making enough money to pay my room charge.

I got a new more expensive blender while at Walmart. While I was picking it out I could hear Kelly....aka...Twisted sister's voice in my head saying.........you get what you pay for and cackling like a witch. I hate that she was right. That is my immature side coming out. What is it about Walmart no matter what day you are there you always can count on good people watching. I would like to take my flip video up there someday and interview these people I bet they are most interesting. I have a huge order and this little old man is checking me out. He is telling about is credit and the credit card rate on his cards, lada, lada, lada! They have the strangest people working there too. Me being the overly nice girl I am acts like I'm totally interested in what he is saying. I guess this is why I always seen to be stuck listening to this kind of stuff. People think I'm a good listener but really I'm not. I am thinking about something totally different like the Vamp for example. All I am really doing is shaking me head and smiling.

I'm excited when I get home so I get all my stuff out to make a smoothie. For Pucks sake the damn thing breaks and leaks all over. See that Karma thing really is a bitch. I'm totally getting it for poking fun at Twisty. As I'm writing this once again I can hear the sound of her voice cackling like a witch.......saying you should have got the MOST expensive one.

I'm still on my workout eat right kick. My brother and I head over to the rec center Friday night. Sad I know, spending Friday night at the rec center. I get on the elliptical put my Itunes on and I'm ready to jam. There's another girl there on a machine a few down from me. I hate when other people are there. I feel I have to keep up with them and that is just not possible. I want to yell .....I'm new at this.....talk about LOOK AT ME, like anyone gives a shit. So after five minutes I feel wiped out. When does this get easier???? I went thirty minutes two nights ago and I'm going thirty five tonight no matter how bad it sucks. Thoughts like I think I can, I think I can are going through my head. This just makes me think I should have read that little engine who could book to my kids. Having an overactive imagination I start to think I don't feel right. What if I pass out, what if I throw up, what if I have a heart attack. I jam out to music that inspires me like U2, Katy Perry, Blackeyed peas, and Phoenix. I make it thirty minutes not thirty five. After that I walk in the bathroom and splash cold water on my face and think I may be dying which really sucks. I would hate to die doing something I hate. I will not give up though I'm going to raise this ass back up to where it should be and get rid of that unwanted belly fat. Grabbing it and telling it to go away is just not working. Joe says don't you wish you could move your fat around to places you want it. I think about that for a minute and think No I have no where to go with mine. Me I'd like to take a chunk of the belly fat and throw it in the backyard for the wildlife to eat.

I get home from the rec center to find this......Aidan.....aka....not sure if he is dumb or dumber, but looks like he is dumber right now, is covered in make up. Blake has some friends over some being girls who decided it would be funny to put make up on him. Alright so I think it's kind of funny, Hub's is not going to find the humor in this like me. Aidan comes downstairs awhile later and says...hey Mom I'm the girl you always wanted. Me I'm thinking have I said that out loud???? Of course I have! As much as I REALLY wanted a girl I have two beautiful nieces now and I'm alright with that. We head into my bathroom get the ponds cold cream out to get the make up off. I think they put war paint on him because it's not coming off easy. He yells this really hurts......then he looks at me and says......So you really have to deal with this everyday?????? My response is YES, so be really nice to the girl you end up with.

Here is Aidan with the super sweet and I really do mean super sweet girls Blake hangs out with. They are the girls that made my baby up in full on make up though. They may just owe me for therapy for this child later. Still here in LaLa land cleaning up after these people and driving them around. Waiting to win the lotto so I can have a personal assistant.....DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE?????