Thank God the kids are back in school.

Yes, that is a knife in his hand. Another Mom of the New Year moment for me. I don't condone this behavior, I walked in on it! They are trying to carve an arrow out of a stick. Thank God they go back to school tomorrow.







So Tuesday morning comes and I spring out of bed with bells on. I think I might just have heard the ark angels blowing their horns in the background. I get them up and out as fast as I can. This girl is going back to bed in the Vegas style room. I plan on going back to sleep and dreaming about the hot vamp to taking me away from all this for at least an hour. I just start to dose off into that deep sleep when my phone rings. It's Blake and he forgot to put his gym clothes in his bag. I get up get his clothes and get in the car. All the sudden I have this "Ahhh Haaa" moment.......What am I doing????? What I'm doing is bailing this kid out once again. I get out of the car crawl back in bed and call Blake. I tell him I'm not coming with his gym stuff and he will just have to deal with the fact that he was not prepared. He starts to argue with me and tells me I should have had his stuff in his backpack for him. I tell him....I'm your Mom, not your personal assistant. I got back to bed without an ounce of guilt.

My cousin Chelsea is still in town from Chicago. After I finally get up, we get ready get out and go to lunch and get pedicures. Life is hard for me....right! We are at the pedicure place in the great massage chairs. The guy working on my feet pulls an ingrown toe nail out of my big toe. He puts it on the top of my foot and shows it to me. All I'm thinking is great this is why I'm here! I'm here for you to clean up these nasty piggy's! I don't need you to point this crap out to me. After he does this he looks over at his partner and starts this yaaa, yaa, weee, louuu, ya, crap! I'm not dumb, he is crap talking my feet. So I start to read my magazine and relax. Next he gets this cheese grater thing out for the bottom of my feet. He taps me to show me that he is grading dead skin off the bottom of my feet and it actually looks like he is grading cheese and there's a lot of it! Another thing I'm thinking....just do your job I don't need this pointed out to me! For Fucks sake I'm paying for this. Once again he starts that yaaa, waaa, caaa, yaaa, bullshit to his friend. This guy has no idea that I live my life by the standard that "ignorance is bliss" his tip is going down by the minute. I get out of there with pretty feet but the experience is less than great. I tip like I should because I fear karma like a crazy women. So having my cousin here has been great she did the dreaded homework hour with my kids. I may just ask her to stay for the next five years!

Cole and homework just doesn't go hand and hand! That's all I'm going to say!

While at the outlet mall on Sunday I bought "Sprinkles cupcakes"......they are supposed to be great. While making them Blake wanted to help. Now as much as I hate when the kids want to help I give in. I feel that letting them help with things will make for happy daughter-in-laws later.


Chelsea and me have been at the grocery store almost every day since she has been here. She bought some gossip mags while in line. I was excited to sit down and read them. That was until every single one focused on weight loss. It's not like she bought health magazines. She bought Us and People. First I come across the article where Carrie Underwood keeps a food journal to help her with her weight loss. My food journal for the day would read something like cheeseburger, cheese fries, Dr pepper, fried pickles, Ruben sandwich, and beer. I'm doing great thus far with my New Years resolutions. I blame having house guest on this! Next I come across the article where Taylor Swift says she allows herself a few cookies on the weekends. I just have to laugh out loud on this one. Girl is 21 not to mention she is six feet tall. I really think she could eat a box of cookies everyday and be just fine. Then there is an article about people who are half their size. There's an article about the family diet. There's the one about the office diet. My head is spinning at this point so I put on some good old shit TV. Extra is on talking about the wedding people shedding weight. Then there is Mario Lopez's baby Mama who is back to her before baby body in six weeks sporting a bikini. The guilt starts to roll in at this point. I wonder what life would be like if we weren't brain washed by all this shit that makes us feel bad. I want to live in a world where there is no plastic surgery, botox, fillers, lips, boobs, and diets. Lets just all be fat happy and age the way we age! Kate Gosselin pops up on Extra sporting a tiny bikini and looking hot. This just proves if you got money and star power you too could look like that. It's your typical Hollywood makeover. If I had personal trainers, personal assistants, nannies, cooks, and housekeepers I would be smokin! Then I think if I would get off my ass and do something I could look good too. I'm my own worst enemy.

Turn off the TV and back to the magazines. The most interesting things I come across are Neil Patrick Harris and his new babies. I still have a supper 13 year old girl crush on him. I know he's gay but maybe I can change him. I have so much to offer him! Next thing I love is when they rate books in the magazine. I see a book I may need to have. It's called How to write a sentence by Stanly Fisk. After starting this blog I realize I just may need that book. I say I'm sorry sometimes for bad grammar, miss spellings, and bad writing. The problem is sometimes I'm to lazy to proof read. Another thing my brain works faster than my typing so sometimes shit just don't sound right. Finally I come to the only weight loss article I like it has a recipe for a smoothie. Ice cubes, frozen berries, I cup skim, half cup of water, little yogurt, and flaxseed. Sounds pretty good to me.

Anywho still here in LaLa land waiting for the extra fat to fall off, waiting to win the lotto, waiting for the perfect kids. waiting for the perfect marriage, and waiting to wake up the person I'm supposed to be. A little freaked out by the dead birds raining from the sky and the dead fish that I had NO idea about until my twisted sister told me. Once again a fine example of my overactive lame brain. On a brighter note these people I live with are back in school which makes Mama very happy.