Grumps has a weekend visit

Dad...aka...Grump is here for the weekend with my brother Joe....aka...Lost in translation. Now the Grump has not at all been Grumpy this weekend. Maybe it's because he was held up in the man cave Saturday and Sunday drinking beer and watching football. What more can a man want???? Me I was pretty much the beer bitch for all these men. It was me and five guys all weekend plus some of Hub's friends who stopped by for some man time in the man cave. Sunday after I went for beer again I got home to find out Blake needed to be taken to mall. Can I do anything else for you people??? While driving Blake and his friend to the mall they put on a rap station. I have an "Ahh haa" moment while driving. I know all the words to every rap song which just means I'm driving this kid around way too much. The sad thing is after I drop them off I listen to the rap all the way home and I like it. Scary right???? After the mall I settle in for a little Hoarders and wait for the golden globes to come on.

Monday morning I get up and go to work. Grumps takes the kids to a movie. After work we play some X-box Kinect. That picture above is my brother kicking my ass on dance central. WTF, I can't believe this. Who know this kid could move like that.

Before dinner my brother and I head out to the workout center in my hood. Hell yes, my workouts are still going strong. I'm going to totally kick my cousins ass in this competition. Now I did fall off the workout wagon this weekend but I blame house guest on that. Between getting beer, cooking food, and driving people around I had no time. Oh yes, and the mindless TV I needed to watch did not help at all.

Joe and me get to the workout center. He gets on the bike and I decide I'm going to do the elliptical machine for an hour. At least that's what I thought I was going to do. I'm on this thing for five minutes already tired and ready to quit. I say to myself alright lets start with 30 and work our way up. I should have known better since I only made it on the bike 30 last week.
Mind you there's a seventy year old guy on elliptic just down from me kickin ass and taken names. I'm trying like hell to look like this is a walk in the park for me. I can't let this old guy know he's smokin me. He keeps looking over at me smiling because he knows he is smokin my ass. At ten minutes all that's going through my head is......I think I can, I think I can. At fifthten minutes I know I can't. That heart moniter starts to blink really fast on the machine. Me not really ever having worked out before and not knowing what the crazy blinking heart thing means thinks it's telling me I'm about to have a heartattack. I get off and have a slight panic attack. I tell Joe I need to go home. He wants to stay so I tell him I will pick him up in 30 more minutes. I feel my heartbeat on the way out and it is pounding. I think shit I'm really going to be pissed if I have a heartattack. I get home and ask Hub's what does the beeping heart thing mean on the machines?????? He tells me it means you got your heart rate up to workout rate. I tell him OMGosh, I thought it meant get off the machine your about to blow. So tomorrow I will know better.

We do some more Kinects. Love that game. Workout and spend time with your kids, brilliant. I wish I came with this crap. Cole had a friend over so I had to drive him home at nine. I don't know what's up with me but I'm super happy. I have a smile from ear to ear. Is it the workouts????? Maybe, maybe not! I'm driving him home and that song......You make me feel like dancing...going to dance the night away is going through my head. I'm dancing in the car while I drive. Who knew working out could make someone feel so great. I kind of feel like skipping through my hood yelling....skippity do dah, skippity day, my oh my what a wonderful day! Maybe it's the fact that Grumps is here, I do love spending time with him and Joe.

After taking Cole's friend home the people in my house tell me they are starving. Me being in the great mood I am, I'm going to cook them... yes.... a second dinner. This is when I realize the bad part of working out makes me want to eat like a horse....WTF. Another post from LaLa land. My Grumps leaves in the am....BOO HOO, but the twisted sister is coming with the little jerk, WOOO HOOOOO! Once again sorry for miss spellings, bad grammar, and to and too puck ups. This chick is way to lazy to check this.

The homework standoff

I know I've complained about homework before but BAHJESUS sometimes I think I'd rather be engulfed in flames. I do more homework now than I ever did in school. Crap the only thing I think of right now is.....I wish I did more homework then because maybe now I could have a personal assistant to do all this crap I hate.

Now I love teachers, I could never do what they do. But they give a lot of the homework that just causes the parents havoc. Maybe it's their pay back to us for dropping our crappy kids on them all day. Remember I have three kids which means I have three sets of homework to help with. Aidan had a timeline to do. This had to include seven main events in his little lifetime. I decided he was going to do this all on his own. I had him pick the seven important events that meant something to him in his seven years. Being a control freak I tried to talk him into different events than what he picked. Then I remembered these were his seven events not mine. He picked things like getting his dog and making his best friend. It did turn out pretty cute. What I forgot is he still would need help with the dates and the spelling. So as much as I said this was going to be done by him I still needed to help. No get out of jail free card on that one.

I have to redirect Cole every night when it comes to homework. I decided I would tally how many times I had to do this. He always tells me I yell at him too much during homework. I always tell him I don't start yelling until I have to tell you ten times to do your homework. At one point during this Cole and I are having a stare off. He whispers under his breath.....YOUR RUDE. I would have never dared to talk to my parents that way at ten. That crap came years later. So were kind of having a homework standoff at this point. I say.....COME ON COLE! He looks me square in the eye with tears in his eyes and says........You seriously make it hard for me to concentrate. OHHHH ME GOSHHHH are you kidding me kid?????? All I can think is.......You seriously make me want to slit my wrist sometimes.

I leave Cole alone for a few minutes to help Aidan with something. When I come back do I find him doing his homework???? Hell No, He throws this tally sheet in my face that tallies how many times Mom Cussed. He spelled cuss cust which made it slightly funny. Don't be judging me now when he says I cuss he means words like crap and damn. The real bad cussing is going on in my head. My cousin Chelsea was here last week and helped the kids with their homework. It was so nice.

Chelsea came on New Years night. I had a long list of resolutions that I could not start due to having a house guest. Of course when you have a house guest you do fattening lunches and cocktails at night. There is no time to workout either. While she was here we decided we both needed a little work on our bodies. We both took measurements of our waist, hips, and thighs. We decided to make a little contest out of this. Now having a contest is the ONLY way I can stick to something. I don't like to lose, I'm kind of a brat that way. We decided to start this crap on Monday Jan. 10th. Then I said.....wait I'm not starting anything on a Monday. That day never seems to work out for me. I got a text from her Monday night asking if I was ready to start this crap. She also says she refuses to diet or give up cocktails 100%. Then she throws a little "GAME ON" thing in there. Hearing "GAME ON" just puts me in the mood to take her ass down. I text back.....I'm with ya. No diet or rehab in this house either. I have to throw my little "Game on" back at her.

So I wake up Tuesday morning with the theme song for Rocky singing in my brain. I jump out of bed and hit the gym. Well lets back up, I wake up Tuesday morning get the kids off to school and go back to bed. I roll out at around ten. I'm fighting with that annoying person that seems to occupy space in my brain about working out. This person hates me it wants me to do bad things like sit on the sofa and watch TV. No way I'm in a competition. I get off my ass and do an hour of yoga. I only have one soda all day. The bad thing is when I'm on these kicks all I want to do is eat, eat, and eat after the workout. The sensible part of my brain is saying small portions. I do alright for the day. After I get Cole and Aidan.....aka...Dumb and Dumber in bed I go to our free community gym with Blake and his friend. I lived here almost four years now, this is only my second time in that gym. SAD, but true. I get on the bike and decide I'm going to ride it for an hour. After five minutes I think I will start with fifteen minutes and work my way up. Crap I'm out of shape!!!!! Anywho GAME is totally ON, on day one! Lets see how bad my body feels tomorrow. I have a strange feeling it's going to give me a big Puck you.

These People I Live With: Why do Mondays suck????

These People I Live With: Why do Mondays suck????