Stay at home mom verses a working mom

 I have actually been both a working mom and a stay at home mom. I worked full time when I had the not so charming Prince. I also worked full time when little Drama boy came around. I worked part time for a few months after Pig Pen formally known as baby Bud Light was born. I often think about both my lives. The working one and the stay at home one. There are highs and lows to both of them. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom when I worked. I was jealous of my friends who got to stay home. I thought it sounded like the perfect life. I will never forget my last day of work. I had finally arrived in the world I thought I would never take up space in.

 What would I do with all my free time????? I would raise perfect kids, do lunches and play dates, get the house put together, go through all that shit in my closets, cook perfect dinners, and maybe take up a hobby. I could finally relax and focus on raising my kids. There would be no more trying to get myself up and ready. Get three kids out the door to daycare. No more having to miss stuff because of work. No more worrying about vacation time. I just got granted a permanent vacation. No more worrying about getting to the daycare on time in fear they will charge me more for every five minutes. No more missed games. No more missed school parties. I had all the time in the world to do whatever I wanted. This is what I dreamed about and asked for. I finally had a perfect life.

 I was sadly mistaken in some ways. I also have been blessed with lots of great memories. I did not raise perfect kids, and my closets are still a mess. I have had lots of lunches and play dates. What I wasn't banking on was being a prisoner the first few years. It was just too hard to grocery shop with a five year old, a two year old, and a new born. I would much rather chew on glass or poke my eyes with needles. I sometimes didn't brush my teeth till five and never got out of my PJ's. At one point I became frumpy and stopped trying to look fashionable. Play dates were me chasing kids who could fall in a pool and sink. Not as relaxing as I imagined. I yelled too much because we were together too much. Kids can be most annoying. They were demanding little shit birds.....more demanding than my jobs ever were. At one point I drank too much. I always liked to enjoy some cocktails with friends. It had gotten slightly out of control for awhile. I drank at night to feel like an adult and self medicate from the days shenanigans. I actually got more things accomplished when I worked. Because I needed to get things done. Now I would put things off because I always had tomorrow. I ate more than I ever ate before. I watched more TV than I ever did. I had more time to worry about every thing. Boy I worried about everything too. I watched too much DR. OZ and self diagnosed myself with lots of stuff he talked about. I would think "I feel like that, I have that pain...OMG..I'm DYING". I suffered from panic attacks for a while. Car rides became pure HELL at times. I have heard the word "MOMMMMM" more times than I can count. Some times the sound of wrappers opening sends me over the edge. I kind of lost me for a while.

I often thought I was just not cut out for this. I think in many ways my relationship with Hubs suffered over me staying home. I certainly didn't want to put out as much. I had given everything I had all day. I had nothing left. I became jealous that he got to go to work and escape the madness. Talk to adults. Sometimes I'd sit in my front yard waiting for an adult to walk by so I could talk to them. Sometimes I got caught up in gossiping and judging when I had no right. I still struggle with that from time to time. There are no sick days for sure!!!!! This was not what I had pictured in my head at all.

 Would I change anything?????? YES....But not being able to stay home. I do feel blessed that I have had the opportunity to stay home. There are lots of moms who don't ever get that. I'm very great full.  I have not missed much in my kids lives. I'm at all the games and school functions. I get to volunteer. I get to cook dinner and drive them to all their over scheduled activities. My kids have gotten to do everything they want because I stay home.  I have become an embarrassment to them. I kind of secretly like that! I hope someday they appreciate all I have done and the things I have given up....LIKE MY SANITY. These people I live with may need therapy since I stayed home. I need some too. In my mind we are even. An eye for an eye!!!

Now I am currently looking for a job again so these shit birds can drive and go to college. BITTER....naaaa....Just tired!

Dripping Springs Founders Day, 2012

This weekend was Dripping Springs annual Founders Day festival. I believe this is our fifth year attending this festival. The family and I look forward to it every year.

It kicks off on Friday night with the best red neck parade this side of town. That would be one of my red neck kids in the "fresh" shirt.

"She thinks my tractors sexy"?????? Perhaps if our famous local Kyle Chandler was riding it. It might really turn me on then.

Oh boy we have a puker right in front of us in the parade. You don't usually see a pucker till the end of the night. It is usually a drunk. Poor girl!

This is our second year to have a BBQ booth. We compete in the meat competition. There are six families this year! Ian our head honcho really stepped up the game on our booth this year! The guys get out there Friday afternoon to set up. They stay out there all night smoking meat. BTW, it takes years to get a spot at Founders! Ian finally got us one! Awesome job to Ian for fighting for a spot for us!

Can you say....meat coma????? t

Can you say....I'm sexy and I know it! Or perhaps....where did they get these carnies???

I run into the teenagers. Blake tells me to go away. Can you feel the love???? What I love about this fest is because we are from a small town you can let your kids run free. There is always someone you know around. We have very little crime here. They run around the carnival like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off. Blake we hardly see all weekend. We only see him when he needs more money. Cole has pretty much morphed into a mimi Blake so about the same for him. Now Aidan on the other hand likes to come report on drunks to us. He is my people watcher and not much gets past him. I sent Aidan to the carnival with a twenty dollar sheet of tickets. He lost them before he rode anything. I almost think he did it on purpose since he is not a fan of rides. He wants money for more tickets. I tell him sorry Charlie I'm not budging on this one. I give him a ten to go get ice-cream he loses it! I'm ready to ring his neck. I did find the ten, he dropped it before he left camp. I'm not budging on this one either...Sorry Charlie. Got to get a point across.

Aidan has a blast running around with his crew. Like I said before he loves to report the drunks. He comes to get me Saturday night to point out a guy who is completely passed out cold by the band. He wants me to take a picture. Since the police are surrounding him I decide it's not the best idea. I love a good blogging picture. I would have looked like a rude asshole though!

Saturday I run into my friend Jenny with my former dog. I tried like hell to talk Hub's into keeping this sucker. I'm usually pretty good at getting my way. He didn't budge on this one. I found the pup the perfect home though. I'm friends with the couple I gave her to on Facebook. Almost everyday they are posting pictures of the doggie. He goes hiking, boating, camping, and cruising all over Austin carefree. I couldn't be happier with the outcome! I'm almost jealous...thinking they should have taken me instead.

A fest is not complete without a funnel cake.

Never got the kids on leashes thing.....I could see kids with duct taped mouths....but not leashes. My friends Erin and Robin need to throw some healthily asparagus into our meat coma!

The judges come around to rate our camp. We woo them with our super fun ness!!!

We win them over with the flamingo glasses! Thanks to our Evil genius Ian...master of our super fun camp, we get forth place.

Got love a guy with a dog! Especially one that fits in his backpack.

Help me, Help me! I talk my friend Robin into beating the shit out this car for fun. You might be a red neck....if your at the red neck fest beating the shit out of a car for fun. The funniest part of this was the guy before her that went. I couldn't really make out what he was yelling as he beat the shit out of the car. One time I thought he yelled.....BETH. Then I thought he yelled....FUCK. I think he may have been yelling...FUCK BETH. Poor Beth this guy looked evil. I tried to talk Robin into yelling an X boyfriends name. She would just not go that red neck.

Back at the camp the flamingoes are kicking ass and taking names!

My friend Erin had to get into the red neck action. Now Erin was also there while that guy screamed profanity at the car. She hit the car and yelled...ZACK. It was so funny! Her husband Zack was standing there laughing. Got love her sick sense of humor. Girl after my own heart.

I think I'm sexy and I know it....NOT! Where is the guy from "what not to wear"! Dude would have a field day with this one. I wish I got the front view of the full on beer belly! Does she not own a mirror. Sometimes you have to wonder what people are thinking or seeing. Thank God I have good friends that would tell me to go home and change!

If he ever gets "the one he loves" this is so going in their wedding video. What I love about Cole is he has liked this girl since we moved here five years ago. He won't give up even though she only sees him as a brother. They have a great relationship and have a ton of fun together. Sometimes when she walks up he hums that dunnnn, dunnn, to dunnnn, wedding song. He does get a smile from her when he does that! What girl doesn't like attention. I really do think he will be a catch. I have burned into his brain respect for women. He is soooo funny too. Lets face it a guy that can make you laugh goes a long way.

One of my favorite parts of this is the drunk watch. This poor guy was in the camp next to us. I wish I had video, it was so much better than this photo. Dude kept falling back and his friends would catch him. You would hear them slur wooo, wooo, wooo. I feel for this guy in the am! I never met a hangover I enjoyed!

We topped off the night with a bomb fire.

Oh wait we topped off the night with another entertaining drunk. This poor girl would walk a few feet and have to stop to either puke or sit down. What I want to know is where are her girlfriends to help her?????

Anyway, another great year at Founders. Ian did an amazing job with our camp. I think everyone had a great time! Blake had a little middle school drama. Two of his main friends have decided to try and get people not to like him or talk to him. As a Mom it breaks my heart, you never want to see your kids go through anything negative. As a Mom with a few beers in her at the fest I want to go tell them off. Of course most of the time there is a rational side to me that talks me off the crazy ledge. I think what bothers me most is the one kid has been a frequent flyer at my house since we moved here. I have treated him like family. I know it's middle school drama that stems from a girl, we all did the same crap in middle school. I really hold no ill will towards these kids. I have been there done that crap too. I guess we have to live and learn. It still breaks my heart to see my baby go through this kind of pain. In life you find that some of the friends you hold tight end up hurting you. I think most of us have experienced this a time or two. We have probably brought this on to someone in our lives as well. Some of us knowing some of us not knowing. We have all hurt people in our lives. I just don't like to see my kid hurt. I want nothing but great things for him. It is truly hard to sit back and watch when your kids feelings are hurt. You want to tell them that this middle school drama will not matter later in life. The problem is to them it matters now. When you get to the point where you can't fix things for your kid it freaks you out. Girls are different though. It won't hurt you as much unless your a girl. Girls hold on to anything bad that ever happened to them. This is why I tell my boys to respect girls and never do anything hurtful to them. We DON'T get over it!!!! So while writing this blog there are 500 hundred black bugs flying around my light. Hello, love Texas....hate Texas bugs. I keep killing them on the screen....Just saying! Once again I write bad, spell bad, and have bad grammar. But after I write I'm too tired too proof read. I'm a fly by the seat of my pants girl.

Oh yes, almost forgot. While driving home from my friends house tonight. Cole was talking about some guy named Jimmy. I say who is Jimmy???? He says...."my carnival friend". Gotta love Cole friending the carnival people! Boys going far in life!

I happen to be sporty

So I get the kids off to school Monday morning yell wooo hoo and go back to bed. I just get into my REM sleep and get a text from my neighbor Erin. She is on a softball team that I was not invited to be on. Not bitter, I happen to be sporty.  I told her I would love to fill in if they ever needed anyone. I can play wiffle ball like no bodies business how much harder can softball be??? The text reads....I have my Queen Bee's jersey and socks ready for you. They need you call Stacy you can go with her. I'm super excited.

I tell my kids when they get home that I'm playing on a softball team tonight. Cole looks at me and says...Do you know what first base means??? I want to say...Um yes, kissing but my bad sense of humor has no business in the mind of an eleven year old. I tell him yes I know what first base is. He them asks me if I know second base.....Hello up the shirt everyone knows that!!!! He questions me on every baseball term. He tells me we should practice batting because he does not want me to embarrass myself. Really, am I this pathetic??? I was excited but now I'm worried. He tells me everything I need to know about baseball! No faith, no faith....

Blake gets home from middle school and I tell him I'm going to play on a softball team. His response is....ya know you have to take this team stuff seriously. He then says.....you can't screw around and act crazy on the field. I guess he pictured me dancing around like a crazy person in the outfield. Really???? Because I haven't spent the last 11 years of my life watching Y'all play sports not to mention all the sports that seem to be on my TV. I think I may have learned a thing or two over the years. I love how I support all of them and they have no faith in me.

Hub's gets home as I'm getting ready for my game. He asks why I'm putting on lip gloss to play. I tell him a girl needs to look good while kicking ass on the field. He laughs and not with me more like at me. Big difference. He gets his glove and shows me how to catch. He shows me how to stand when I bat???? This is all going in one ear and out the other. Do these people I live with really think I'm a dumb ass. He even tells me to be careful because he does not want me to get hit by a ball. It's kind of making me mad. Does he really think I would stand there and get hit rather than catch it???? I'm not an idiot.

My friend Stacy picks me up for the game, we shot gun a beer before we go. I get there and all of the sudden get really nervous I think these people I live with got in my head. I want to do good since I'm a fill in. They sent me to the outfield. I'm thinking in my head...be cool don't get crazy and just get the ball. Nothing comes to me thank God. In between I have Hub's take a picture of me and Stacy so I can put it on Facebook. Hello, look at me I'm playing softball. I get comments from my sister that are pretty much like really???? I get a comment from a friend that says your there to tailgate. My family and friends have no faith in me. I work out look at my body...LOL.... I get up to bat for the first time nervous as hell. I need to do good in this game. My family is watching not to mention I need to do good for the team. The lights are messing me I feel nervous it's much easier playing wiffle ball when it doesn't matter. I strike out, oh how my head is between my legs. We go back to the outfield and a ball comes to me and I get it and throw it into the in field. I thought I did great. I come off the outfield to Hub's telling me I throw like a girl. Hello last time I checked I was a girl....He tells me I need to reach far behind my back and throw. Glad I have him here to guide me.  can you feel my sarcasm???? What I love is the kids couldn't wait to see me play but they played their own game in the open field and never saw any of my game. I get up to bat again, this time I hit it and get to first base! I'm super excited. Next batter strikes out so I never have that slide into home like I imagined. We win the game!!!! hell yeah! All because of me because I'm sporty.


After the game Stacy and I head to the barber shop. This is a little place in Drip that used to be a barber shop turned into a beer bar. Earlier in the day while at kid pick up my friend Jason tapped on my window. He told me his wife and him were going to the barber shop to meet Kyle Chandler. Now if anyone of you do not know who he is....he happens to be the star of Friday night lights, he has been on Grey's anatomy and was in the early edition and has also starred in super eight the movie.This dude happens to live in Drip which is a small town.  To say I'm a stalker is an under statement. I'm a stalker with nothing to say. I talk a big game but I have no game. We get there and he is not there. We talk to Jason and his wife. All of the sudden he walks in. My friend Stacy is like that is the guy right??? I say yes. She is like you are red as hell keep talking to me. We talk and laugh about this. My camera is with me. There is us and their group in the bar no good reason to sneak a pic. Jason walks over and says...do you want me to induce you??? I say....no I don't want to seem like a crazy stalker. The night goes on and Jason's wife joins us. Kyle is about to leave. Jason is motioning me if I want to meet him. I give him the heads up. He introduces me to him and I'm like a deer in headlights. I introduce  him to Stacy. I had nothing cool to say, nothing funny to say, and nothing clever to say. Your shocked right???? HaHa


 Anyway I get home super excited about my Kyle run in. I tell Hub's everything he is like .......you sound like a middle school freak! Yep I do! I text everyone who gives a shit when I get home! This blog is only going to be funny to the people who really know me and know how Sporty I am........NOT!