Adventures in babysitting

Saturday night Hub's and I headed out to celebrate our fifteen year anniversary. My brother Joe....aka...lost in translation babysat for us. We headed downtown to Maria, Maria. This is a great restaurant with really tasty food and live music. When we get there they tell us there will be an hour wait. Me I'm thinking.....WHAT?????Hub's didn't make a reservation with a special table, with lots of flowers, and a diamond stuck in my dessert. My God did he forget I gave him three boys! Fifteen years is a long time to be married to anyone these days. Shouldn't I get a prize, an award, a diamond, or at least a reservation??????? Am I on one of those joke reality shows???? My perfect table with lots of gifts is around the corner???? Men just don't think of the little things that make us girls stay happy. We make the best of it and have a beer at the bar. What does one talk about on their fifteen year anniversary?????? Our kids what else! After we get seated we have a really good meal. Both of us picked up our Iphones from time to time I guess no one is really ever present in the moment anymore. That song from the Lion King is running through my head.........ya know the one....Can you feel the love tonight! Which by the way just happens to be the song we danced to at our wedding. I hope he reads this and I get a re do on this night....just sayin!

So while we were off enjoying each others company when we weren't on our Iphones all hell was breaking loose at the house. Hubby being in the furniture business has very strict rules about respecting the furniture. The kids are never allowed to stand on it especially with their shoes. My brother likes to take pictures of everything just like me. I see this on his facebook page the next day. Great job babysitting Joe. Can you tell being surround by all these men is starting to break me???

After our meal we enjoy the great music. The great thing about living in Austin is there is always great live music. The name of the band is Soulution. Hub's just loved them. So he looks over at me and says maybe we should get this band to play at my fortieth birthday. Now granted I think the beer has gone right to his brain because he is clearly not thinking clearly. Me I look at him and say....oh you want them for your fortieth huh???? I don't think so!!!!! My fortieth birthday was planned by me myself and I, it was a house party, yes the food was catered and I did splurge for a bartender but you want a six person band???????? I wanted a big fancy party with a band but I decided to save money. Did you smoke some funny stuff before you left the house or have we won the lotto and you haven't told me. That little saying men are from Mars and women are from Venus is in my head now.

Back at the house the babysitting is going just great as you can see from the pictures. Who takes pictures of these crimes?????? I think I'm going to start to call Aidan, Cole, and Joe.......dumb, dumber, and dumbest.

Anyways the beers are starting to help me back at the restaurant. I guess I have to put my beer goggles on for the rest of this.

These guys must think Joe is the greatest babysitter they ever had.

The people watching is great. I go outside to listen to a voice mail and the girl in the purple and black is out there smoking. I don't hear a damn thing on my voice mail because I'm to busy listening to her beg some guy on the phone to come up there. She is saying things like but I just want to be with you, you make me so happy, I can't stop thinking about you, and I want you to meet my friends. You can tell by the way the conversation is going he is totally blowing her off. Me I want to scream.........GIRL,STOP IT, you sound like a cat in heat, your making yourself out to be desperate, your going about this all wrong! Make him want you, make him come to you, don't beg! I have been down this road and it is never pretty. This just makes me think if we only could age in reverse we would be much better at stuff like this. So we hang up our phones at the same time. She looks at me and says.....My name is Thumper like the bunny. I guess she felt like she had to introduce herself since I stared at her the whole time. I tell her my name is Kerry and then I get stuck in a ten minute conversation about how she lost her cat the night before. This shitz always happens to me. I'm thinking yep you lost your cat last night you lost it to that asshole you were just on the phone with and now he is no longer interested. Sad the way I think see what the world had done to me.

Back at the house the shenanigans are still going strong. I don't see any pictures of Blake from the night. I'm sure his ass is in the corner text messaging.

Back at the restaurant I have now had enough beer to forget about the pain of not having the perfect night. After this we head to Cedar Street to dance off this buzz. While at Cedar Street I'm in line for the bathroom. I'm standing there with this guy. Hub's comes around the corner looks at me and says......I'm going home with you tonight. I roll my eyes as if I have never seen him before. The guy looks at Hub's and says nice try you might want to try a different pick up line next time. I'm just laughing cause the guy has no idea that we are married with three kids.

Back at the house its just gets better and better. They thought it would be funny to use my makeup to make bruises and get into a little fake Halloween blood. I really don't see the humor in them ruining a perfectly good eyeshadow for these shenanigans. I realize they get this hey LOOK AT ME shit from me but come on.

Now there's a little story behind these white cowboy boots. My father in law who was a true blue Texan, a very Texas proud man thought it would be funny to buy me a pair of white cowboy boots to wear under my wedding dress. Now he wanted this to be mine and his little secret. We would revel these white boots during his speech at the reception. We went to Cavender Boot City on January 4th, 1996 to get these. I know the exact date because he had the sales guy write it inside the boot. So I got married in my pretty high heel white shoes. When I got to the reception he snuck the boots into the bridal suite from me to change into. After the dinner he called me out to the dance floor. He was making a speech about how happy he was to have me in the family. Then he said were going to change this little Chicago girl into to true Texan from head to toe. Right when he said that I lifted my dress to show off my boots. Later that night my Uncle Kevin took my boot off and had people fill it with money. I thought it would be cute to wear these boots out for our anniversary. Both my father in law and my uncle Kevin have since passed away. Both were great men and both died of cancer. I miss them both all the time. I'm thankful for the great memories I have of both of them. Maybe I can pass these boots on to one of my future daughter in laws. They will have to have small feet since my feet are smaller than my nine year olds.

We get home shortly after midnight to find this. I guess this is why the shenanigans went on. The babysitter was buzzed. The important thing is the kids are all a sleep, job well done brother.

Baby Jack ass!

So Wednesday I have to drive Blake....aka....???? to and from school. Since he is on crutches it's hard for him to ride the bus. My brother Joe...aka....lost in translation is staying with us for a while. I ask Joe to keep an eye on Cole and Aidan while I pick up Blake. Blake's school is not a hop, skip, and a jump away. After I pick him up I take advantage of having a built in babysitter and stop at the grocery store. When I get home I pull in the driveway and see the skateboard ramp at the end. Now our driveway drops off about four feet or more at the end. I'm sitting there thinking to myself this can't be good. I walk in and yell for Cole and Aidan.....aka....dumb and dumber. I see Joe in the kitchen and ask why the HELL that ramp is on the end of the driveway. His response......I got pictures and video, do you want to see?????? Um yeah, I'd like to see this. The picture above says it all. So I ask Joe why he let them do that. He tells me it was only Cole and Cole told him he was allowed. Joe says.....I didn't think that looked right. NO SHIT, next time go with your gut! For God sakes we were just in the ER the night before. I'm thinking I may need something like a speed pass for the ER. Not to mention I can only imagine all the neighbors that drove by at home talking shit about me being Mom of the year. I DON'T IN ANY WAY CONDONE THIS BEHAVIOR, SO PLEASE PUT YOUR INVISIBLE GAVELS DOWN.

Hub's gets home right as I'm setting Cole's ass straight. I tell him your not going to believe what this guy did! Cole looks at me and says.......Please don't show Dad the video. I look at him and say your the one who let your uncle tape the crime dumbo. So I call Joe over to show Hub's the footage of my baby Jack ass. He looks at the video shakes his head and walks away without saying a word. Now I know Hub's and this is not going to be pretty for this baby Jack ass. They have to leave right away for Basketball practice so they have a little come to Jesus talk in car. This new.....LOOK AT ME, generation of kids are not the brightest bunch of kids. I would never let someone video me doing something I shouldn't. Well on second thought maybe I should leak a sex tape and get a reality show. All I can think of is when they put me in a padded cell I hope these Jack asses are making enough money to pay my room charge.

I got a new more expensive blender while at Walmart. While I was picking it out I could hear Kelly....aka...Twisted sister's voice in my head saying.........you get what you pay for and cackling like a witch. I hate that she was right. That is my immature side coming out. What is it about Walmart no matter what day you are there you always can count on good people watching. I would like to take my flip video up there someday and interview these people I bet they are most interesting. I have a huge order and this little old man is checking me out. He is telling about is credit and the credit card rate on his cards, lada, lada, lada! They have the strangest people working there too. Me being the overly nice girl I am acts like I'm totally interested in what he is saying. I guess this is why I always seen to be stuck listening to this kind of stuff. People think I'm a good listener but really I'm not. I am thinking about something totally different like the Vamp for example. All I am really doing is shaking me head and smiling.

I'm excited when I get home so I get all my stuff out to make a smoothie. For Pucks sake the damn thing breaks and leaks all over. See that Karma thing really is a bitch. I'm totally getting it for poking fun at Twisty. As I'm writing this once again I can hear the sound of her voice cackling like a witch.......saying you should have got the MOST expensive one.

I'm still on my workout eat right kick. My brother and I head over to the rec center Friday night. Sad I know, spending Friday night at the rec center. I get on the elliptical put my Itunes on and I'm ready to jam. There's another girl there on a machine a few down from me. I hate when other people are there. I feel I have to keep up with them and that is just not possible. I want to yell .....I'm new at this.....talk about LOOK AT ME, like anyone gives a shit. So after five minutes I feel wiped out. When does this get easier???? I went thirty minutes two nights ago and I'm going thirty five tonight no matter how bad it sucks. Thoughts like I think I can, I think I can are going through my head. This just makes me think I should have read that little engine who could book to my kids. Having an overactive imagination I start to think I don't feel right. What if I pass out, what if I throw up, what if I have a heart attack. I jam out to music that inspires me like U2, Katy Perry, Blackeyed peas, and Phoenix. I make it thirty minutes not thirty five. After that I walk in the bathroom and splash cold water on my face and think I may be dying which really sucks. I would hate to die doing something I hate. I will not give up though I'm going to raise this ass back up to where it should be and get rid of that unwanted belly fat. Grabbing it and telling it to go away is just not working. Joe says don't you wish you could move your fat around to places you want it. I think about that for a minute and think No I have no where to go with mine. Me I'd like to take a chunk of the belly fat and throw it in the backyard for the wildlife to eat.

I get home from the rec center to find this......Aidan.....aka....not sure if he is dumb or dumber, but looks like he is dumber right now, is covered in make up. Blake has some friends over some being girls who decided it would be funny to put make up on him. Alright so I think it's kind of funny, Hub's is not going to find the humor in this like me. Aidan comes downstairs awhile later and says...hey Mom I'm the girl you always wanted. Me I'm thinking have I said that out loud???? Of course I have! As much as I REALLY wanted a girl I have two beautiful nieces now and I'm alright with that. We head into my bathroom get the ponds cold cream out to get the make up off. I think they put war paint on him because it's not coming off easy. He yells this really hurts......then he looks at me and says......So you really have to deal with this everyday?????? My response is YES, so be really nice to the girl you end up with.

Here is Aidan with the super sweet and I really do mean super sweet girls Blake hangs out with. They are the girls that made my baby up in full on make up though. They may just owe me for therapy for this child later. Still here in LaLa land cleaning up after these people and driving them around. Waiting to win the lotto so I can have a personal assistant.....DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE?????

Looks like we made it

So today Hub's and I were married for 15 years. Lets rewind the clock back to 1996 January 26th. We got married in Chicago in a cold ass blizzard. Lots of family and friends were there. We had a kick ass reception hosted by Grumps and Debbie. Lots of food, drinks, and dancing. After we got home we purchased our first house in Lewisville TX for 112 thousand dollars. Right before our one year anniversary I found out I was pregnant with Blake. Me weighing about 95 pounds when we got married put on 70 in this pregnancy. I often wonder if Hub's was a little worried when I almost doubled in size.

Being married has been a challenge from time to time. I guess that's why they throw that little for better or worst in your vows. There are times when we have grown apart and there are times where we have grown together through the years. We have been sick together, we have been healthy together, we have been poor together, we have been more comfortable than poor together, We have seen each other at our worst and we have seen each other at our best. We have suffered loss together. The loss of a Father, Grandparents, friends and a pet. I think the pet was more my loss but that's alright. We have paid bills together and we have not been able to pay bills together. We have loved each other and we have been indifferent with each other. We have been mad and we have been happy. We have been proud and we have been disappointed. We have said nice things to each other and we have said awful things to each other. We have agreed whole heartily and we have disagreed whole heartily. We have made some great friends and we have made some bad friends. We have made great decisions and we made bad ones. Are you sick of this yet?????? Bottom line is we have been together almost half our life now and it is a huge challenge at times but that damn Barry Manilow song is running through my head......Ya know the one...Looks like we made it!

So we took a trip with our best friends Kimberly and Jason to Mexico in 2000. On that trip Kim and me were both trying to get pregnant with our second child. We bet a giant cheese cake to the person who got pregnant first. Well I got pregnant first and that bitch still owes me a cheese cake ten years later. I had Cole February 22, 2001. He was by far my easiest birth. They could tell he was big so they started my labor early and gave me drugs before I felt a thing. Popped that kid out in 15 minutes with no pain and full makeup. He is the only one that I don't look half bad in the pictures. Now Blake was a small blonde hair blue eyed baby when he came out. This one came out chunky with a full head a black ass hair. Not what I was expecting. He kind of resembled a Mexican and he was conceived in Mexico......thank God there were no black out nights from that trip. Truth be told he looks just like my Dad's side of the family.

So we decided we were done after two even though I really wanted a girl. We were at a forth of July party in 2002. Cole had just started walking and had takin a header right into the concrete.
Someone there said are you done???? I replied Hell ya! After the party we had a few friends back to our new house in Frisco TX. While on the front porch sucking down jello shots my friend Janice says she needs to go home. I'm like why???? She tells me it's her time of the month and she feels like shit. A little light bulb goes off in my head.....we cycle at the same time....WHY the hell don't I have my friend????? I don't think that much more about it because I'm on the pill. Granted I started my pill four days late and doubled up. I have done this since I was eighteen so no worries. Nother Jelly shot please! The next morning I wake up in a panic. Janice is coming over to watch my kids because I have to work. I call her to pick up a pregnancy test on her way over. I go in bathroom take the test, come out with my pants still undone crying. I'm standing there with a positive pregnancy test in hand. Sad thing is I first call my boss.......My exact words were I'm puckin pregnant and I'm going to late. By the way my boss was the person who asked me if I was done the night before. Anywho, I call my doctors office next to ask if its possible that I'm really PG. The nurse says if your holding a positive test chances are it's right.

At this point I'm pacing around my dinning room table thinking things like how are we going to afford another one. What will I do about work, daycare, and sanity. Next I call Hub's. I tell him I'm PG again. What does he do.....He hangs up on my ass after telling me he doesn't have time for this shit. In his defence he totally thinks I'm messing with him since we just told a bunch of people we were done the night before not to mention all the Jello shots I did. My friend Janice calls him and tells him I'm very serious and he really hurt my feelings. He calls me back in a panic telling me we can't afford another. Me I have mixed emotions I think this is God giving me that little girl I always wanted. Pink, bunnies, hair bows, cute dresses, and more pink is running through my head.

So I finally get to work two hours later. I'm selling furniture at the time. The overhead is screaming every five minutes that I have a phone call. I have a bunch of family call me and tell this is a good thing it's your girl. My Dad...aka...Grump calls he tells my his friend Larry just asked him today if I was done and my Dad said yes! He got to work and got this phone call. Weird right?????

So anywho, On Halloween my favorite holiday I'm finding out the sex of the baby. My parents are in so they go with me. Now my group of doctors have known from the first, the second and this one that I have wanted a girl. We do the thing and the Doctor is very quiet. I look at him and say do you see the sex????? He replies yes. WELL????? I almost think he is afraid to tell me it's another boy. Now I have come to every appoinment screaming God wanted me to have a girl and this is why I'm PG with a one year old. He finally tells me it's another boy. At first I feel sad No pink again. WTF, I'm a girls girl I'm supposed to have a girl. Then reality checks in and I'm just happy that the baby boy looks healthy. Aidan was born Febuary 21th one day before Cole's second birthday. My Twisted sister was in the delivery room with me. We got in trouble from the Doctor for laughing while pushing.

All day they monitored Aidan's heart rate, which went up and down all day. While delivering him the doctor told me to stop pushing. The cord was wrapped around his neck, which is why his heart rate went up and down all day. He came out not looking like my other two at all. WTF, thank God there is no question who the father is. I don't have much time with him because after they roll me out to get my tubes tied so this doesn't happen again. While on the table I babble so much the doctor decides to knock my ass out. I guess I can be a bit annoying at time.

Anywho, 15 years of marriage and we have done a lot together. Three less than perfect kids. Three houses, three fights....LOL, lots of great memories and lots more to come. I often think what like would be like without these people I live with. We won't go there because remember I have an over active imagination and it sounds really good. Bottom line is I would do few things different but wouldn't change the people I live with. Happy Anniversary Hub's. Sorry for spelling mishaps and bad grammar this girl is to tired to check.

Day four with the Golden Jerk and some farm animals

Saturday morning we got up at the crack ass of dawn and headed to the Exotic Zoo Ranch in Johnson city TX. Well truth be told we got up early went to Cole's basketball game. Came home, dragged ass for awhile and then headed to the zoo. As soon as Twisty gets there she is acting up. You can't take that girl anywhere. I just feel sorry for the poor animals she violated. Not to mention what a fine example she sets for my kiddos.

All I got to say about this is.......Monkey see Monkey do!

Ohhhh, we think we are soooo funny! All I can say about this one is we are screaming LOOK AT ME, LOOK AT ME! This may just be a cry for help.

We are off to take the tram ride where the animals chase you. I guess Twisty wanted to get into true farm girl character with those braids.

Twisty looks a little freaked out by this big beast. The Golden Jerk is all good though.

Where's the damn peanut butter???????? I can honestly say I was a little taken back by this guys tongue.

This place was fantastic. Anyone who lives in this area should visit this place. It's well worth the money.

I think the Golden Jerk may follow in my foot steps. Check out the animals following behind her. Total animal attraction. She better be careful though, some animals are hard to train.

I must admit this was a little scary! A giant camel poking it's head in right next to ya. The funny thing about this camel is it had giant balls. Twisty decided it was a good idea to point this fact out to my boys. Like I said.....can't take that girl anywhere.

CAN WE HAVE ONE.........HELL NO! That was until I heard you don't have to pay taxes out here if you have goats on your land. I went home tried to talk Hub's into selling our house for a farm. That went over like a fart during sex.Later that night Twisty, my friend Jen, and I headed out to Austin for ladies night. We went to a few fun little places for some beers. Twisty even had two even though she doesn't drink. After the first two bars we were ready to do some dancing. We went to this club where the dance floor was see through and there were sharks swimming under us. Right away we are approached by some cheesy ass guy who looks to old to be in the club. He is probably about my age. This guy won't leave us alone. While he is boring the hell out of us he mentions there is a gay bar next door. So we head to the gay bar for some great dancing, fantastic music, and good people watching. Gay people are some of my favorite people for they are all so happy and nice. So were on the dance floor rockin out to Lady GAGA and Katy Perry songs. The next thing I know there is a guy dancing behind me. It's all good he is gay and he just thinks I'm a great dancer. That is until his hands end up all over my ass literally. Twisty looks over and says......your not gay are you?????? He replies...um NO. WTF, Seriously???????? Why the hell would a straight guy hang out here??????? We came to get away from this. We head out shortly after this. Damn straight guy had to ruin our fun!

So since I'm am behind on my blog as I am in my life, I posted this picture from today. This is Blake...AKA...Who the hell are you ....with stitches and crutches. So lets rewind a bit. Tuesday morning I was woken up at 4am by Twisty telling me Cole...Aka...Drama ....was puking. What I love about this normally drama queen is when he is sick there is zero drama. By the time I got up to him he had puked and put himself back to bed. So I check on him and go back to bed. 6:56 is is puking again...I know the exact time because he tells me he looked at the clock when he got up to puke. Once again he puts himself back to bed with no drama. I get up a little tired from not getting an uninterrupted night of sleep to get the other two ready for school. Now I usually go back to bed in the Vegas style room. Not today, I have to take my brother...aka..lost in translation ......to a job my friend got for him. Love having my bro here BTW! I drop him off in my PJ's and head home for some sleep.

Later that day I have to take Twisty and the Golden Jerk to the airport to go home. I'm really sad and cry all the way home. The trip went way to fast as usual. I really wish Twisty and me lived close to each other.....DO YOU HEAR ME UNIVERSE??????? I get home at about the same time as Blake. His friend comes over and he tells me they are going to another friends house. I am on my way to take my brother to the workout center in our hood when I get a phone call. It's Blake's friend telling me Blake had an accident and it's bad. I drive over already feeling sick to my stomach. I find Blake on the sidewalk bleeding all over the place with a cut on his ankle that is really deep. Me I'm not so good at this stuff, Thank God my bro is there. I already feel sick to my stomach and dizzy. I leave my brother with Blake so I could run home to get a wet rag to put over the wound. While driving home that damn song...I need a vodka drink...is running through my head! The funny thing is I don't touch hard liquor. I need a beer drink just doesn't sound right though. When I get back there is a girl stopped with him that I know. OMG, she is a nurse....PERFECT...is what I think at first. She is cleaning his wound and rapping it up. She tells me he definitely needs to go to the hospital for stitches. Then she starts in on this.....I see you boys out there on these bikes without helmets all the time, please use your helmets. Me I'm standing there feeling like Mom of the year once again but about two feet tall.



Anywho, I get Blake in the car and call Hub's in hysterics. He is only ten minutes away thank God. I just don't handle stuff like this well at all. Sometimes I wonder why God gave me jackass boy babies. Now I wouldn't trade them for a billion dollars but for God sakes why can't they be book worms instead of dare devils?????? Blake is in the back of my car pretty much screaming in pain. I'm to chicken shit to even look at this shit. Once again thank God my brother is here. I run in the house call Hub's and yell please hurry up. He is like.....He's not dying get a hold of yourself. Hub's gets home and my brother and him take Blake to the emergency room. Me, I'm still sick to my stomach and dizzy wondering if I need to go to the emergency room, for me!Hub's sends me some pics from there of the wound. At this point that song....I had a bad day is going through my mind. Anywho three hours later they get back with stitches and crutches. This for me means less sleepy time. Now I will have to take and pick this kid up from school. Never a days rest here in LaLa land! Calgon????????????

Twisty and the golden jerk, day 3

Day three we get up super early to start our day....HaHa. We are out the door a little after 12 for lunch. Morning people we are not. This may be why the Vamp gets my panties in a wad.

The Golden jerk is starting to take a liking to me. I'm still not changing her name though. Lets not forget that she still is the Jerk that stole Grump's attention from me.

These last few days Twisty and I have kind of acted like children. We have danced and sang around the kitchen like fools while cooking dinner at night. We have played Kinect and battled as if we were middle school girls. We have rode the kids razor motorcycles all through the hood. Even with the tiger hat on. Now I bitched my brother out when he drunk crashed the kids motorcycle. My sober ass got it barely down the driveway when I crashed it. Twisty was coming back up the sidewalk when she saw me laid out on the driveway. Me I'm laying there laughing so hard I wet my pants just a little. Is this the joys of getting older????? Can't laugh your ass off anymore with out a little pee coming out???? I don't think I like this, for God's sake! What's with the peeing crap??

So after I wet a little of my pants we head out through the hood. They are still building out here so when we pass a worker and got a big whoo hooo! I don't care where it came from I will take a whoo hoo any day of the week.

The other night a girl scout came by. I bought one box of these Carmel delites, big mistake. They were gone in no time and everyone was complaining they didn't get their fair share. The only one who really didn't get their fair share was me. The next girl scout that came by I knew better. I bought four boxes and put their names on the box. I thought this would avoid fights. Once their box was gone that was it, they would know they got their fair share. In a perfect world right??? This ain't no perfect world with these people I live with. Someone decided he was going to sneak cookies out of other people's boxes, so he could save his. As soon as I said I was going to check the secret cameras the guilty one through themselves under the bus. I can't believe this secret camera stuff still works on them. Well that is the little guys. Blake is scared to tell them that the secret cameras don't exist. I told him that if they found out I would take his ass down and I meant it.

I bought the Golden Jerk a cute little piggy stuffed animal. We were at Home Goods and I told her she could pick out any stuffed toy she wanted. She said NO,NO, alot and waved her little hand at me. She finally settled on this little pink piggy. When we got home she threw the piggy on the floor, step on it, pointed in it's face, and yelled No, No at it. I'm feeling really good about my gift. The funny thing is I rarely here anyone say No,No to her so I wonder where this is coming from.

We ended our night with a double feature movie night. It's great having my family here this week.

Day two with the golden JERK

So Thursday morning I taught the Golden Jerk the importance of a little MID morning yoga.

After our yoga we headed out for some lunch. Even though the golden Jerk stole the Grump from me I am still taken back by her charm. She gets it from me anyway.

Baked mac and cheese for dinner! I've had to be creative with a vegetarian in the house.

I love having Twisty here. We cooked, rocked out to music,danced, and sang at the top of our lungs. I'm telling you I was supposed to be a rock star. Ya know what they say about picturing what you want and it will happen. I picture it all the time and nothing is happening I call bullshit. I wish we lived by each other it would be so much fun.

Twisted sister being the twisted one thought it would be funny to put pony tails in Aidan's hair.
I must admit it was funny and he rocked them. While we were all dancing around to loud ass music looking like crazy people, the doorbells rings. I'm running up to the door yelling, "turn down the music and act like normal people." When I open the door it is one of my neighbors looking for her kid. She gives me a kind of strange look, I guess she heard me yelling.....act like a normal people. Not to mention Aidan is rocking four ponytails that are standing straight up on his head.No telling what she thinks goes on in this house. There goes my squeaky clean reputation again. I wonder if that kid will be coming by today.

Hub's and my brother are heading out for a little guy time. We are getting ready for a little healthy Kinect competition.

Ella looks adorable in this cute sweater, I bought it of course.

Nerd alert, Cole is always entertaining.

Blake loves his little cousin Ella, but he also uses her to his advantage. He loves to take pictures of her and send them to the girls he goes to school with. It's so cute because Ella calls Blake, Beak.

The twisted one talks a big game but when it comes down to it - she's all talk no game.

We all get just slightly competitive, all in fun of course.

The boys are up just a little past their bedtime. I make an exception since we have family in town.

After the boys go to bed Twisty and I are ready for some mindless TV. We watch the season finale of housewives of Beverly Hills.

Hub's and Joe or shall I say drunk and drunker try to interrupt our show a few times. They seem to think it is funny to stand in front of the TV singing........All I do is win, win, win, no matter what. I'll tell you one thing Hub's wasn't winning tonight! It is most annoying to be around drunk people sober. After the show I find them out riding my kids' toys drunk! They think they're funny but they are really not that funny. I finally get them put down at 1:30, a Mothers work is never done.

So quick story. Yesterday my sister Twisty and I were at HEB. Since I'm on this healthy kick I want to start making smoothies. Making smoothies requires having a blender. Mine must have gotten lost or broken in one of our moves. So we are in the blender part of the store. I pick up the cheapest one. Twisty, in a know it all tone of voice, is like....... you might not want to get a cheap one. I say it's just to make smoothies I can get the cheap one. In a condescending tone she says.....you get what you pay for. I buy the cheap one because I don't like people to tell me what to do. Later in the evening Blake wants a smoothie. I make him one and the cheap ass blender works just fine. Twisty is over there at the island secretly hoping the cheap ass blender sucks.

When we wake up the next day Twisty says....I hope you kept your receipt for that blender. I say I did and the box too! I believe she is willing it to die so she could throw a told ya so my way.

Blake gets home from school the next day and wants another smoothie. I use the same ass

formula on this smoothie that I used the night before. Don't ask me what happened to the thing from last night to today. Lets just say it didn't go as smooth today. First it doesn't seem to be blending. Then there is this odd smell. Finally the thing starts moving around as if its possessed. I take the the blender part off the base and the motor is fried. All I can hear is Twisties voice in my head saying......ya get what ya pay for. Then she does that most annoying laugh where it sounds like she is cackling like a damn witch. Thank God her lazy ass is taking a nap.

So Twisty wakes up from her afternoon nap, must be nice. She's now sitting by the fire reading to the Golden jerk. Blake and I are cooking dinner in the kitchen. Blake yells over to Twisty and asks her if she saw the blender. I look at him and say SHUT UP. Twisty is yelling....what did you say????? Well she knows damn well what he said. So here comes the cackling. Twisty is now helping us cook dinner. She is chopping the garlic for shrimp dish we are making. Doorbell rings and it's a girl scout with those damn cookies that are so good. Even though I bought four boxes the night before I buy two more. I love that you get them right away now, immediate gratification is always a plus. I come back and Twisty is done chopping garlic so I grab it to put it in the dish. All the sudden she is yelling.....OMG your hands. I look at her like WHAT my hands are washed. She yells but you touched money. I think Mom...aka....Debbie must have spent more time with her as a child and the Grump spent more time with me. Anywho, here in LaLa land saying things like.....if I were a plate where would I be.....to these people I live with.