For better or worse!

So Friday morning Blake...aka....the nasty teenager and I headed to Chicago for my cousins wedding. I couldn't sleep the night before for many reasons. Number one I crazy hate to fly. Two I was kind of walking on cloud nine after Blake tied the middle school record from 1986 for pole vaulting!! I'm bragging for sure. I couldn't help but think where was I in 1986????? Oh yes, I was 16! Feeling stressed because I had just moved from the city to suburbs. Not fun to move in high school. Everyone already has their "groups". I can't believe my parents did that to me. I could really blog about the hell of moving in high school but I will spare you my pity party.

Anyway we were heading out on a way too early flight. Anyone who knows me knows I'm no morning gal. Just ask my BFF Kimberly! I kissed my two little ones as if it might be the last time I saw them. I looked around my house wanting to take every detail in. I wondered if I would ever see my house, kids, Hub's or dog again. I know your thinking I'm a crazy bitch but I truly am. I wonder where my dramatic 11 year old came from! I go over in my head what it will be like to go down in a plane crash. What will I do???? How will I react in front of Blake???? What will it feel like to be falling to my death????? Would the wedding go on if we plummet to our death trying to get there???? So we board the plane. My Mom told me that she always taps the outside of the plane three times before she gets on. I have taken on this crazy ritual. I tap it asking all my dead relatives not to want to see me anytime soon. There is a guy behind me that snickers. I wonder what he is thinking. We got 1st class. I'm sitting there still stressed and on walks someone I know from Dripping Springs. Crazy right? She sits down right across from us. Her and I talk through most of the flight driving everyone else in 1st class crazy. I made a few deals with God on the plane. I hope I can stay true to them. We land safely as you can see since I'm writing about it! Dad...aka....Grumps is waiting for us. I feel a little rode hard and put away wet. I have last nights makeup on and I got no sleep. I almost wish we could see the future. I would know if I would survive the plane ride. Life would be so much better. I know someday I will be on my death bed thinking damn I should have flown more.

Saturday we head out to my cousins wedding. I'm quick to pick up a man. Just kidding! This is my cousin Nick. I have mastered the cut yourself in half pose for a picture! Do you love the dress????? When I bought this dress the sales lady said...I have a perfect dress for you, it will hide anything! Insult???? I kind of think it might have been. I went into the dressing room she asked my to come out so she could see it. I came out and she said.....see hun you look skinny in this....it hides all the bad stuff. All this happened while she slapped me on the ass. I wanted to say...what bad spots????? Bad spot???...can you see last nights cheeseburger that happened to take up space right on my ass??? Can you see the years of bad eating all over my middle???? Damn it for those old people who told me my bad habits would catch up to me. Damn it for being right!  I would have totally been insulted and walked out but she was right damn it! Damn it, damn it, it sucks getting old!

So like I said I survived the plane and made it to my cousins wedding. As I'm sitting there, that for better or worse thing comes to mind. Sad that is what I'm thinking during this beautiful service. But they aren't kidding when they say that! I guess for me growing up in the 70's I watched the Brady bunch and the Huxtables (Sp?) I watched them with their perfect families and perfect kids. Imagining myself living in their perfect world. This is what I thought it would be like. BTW, the houses???? Really??? I find myself always looking for that perfect TV house. They don't exist. Then there are all the 80's movies that ruined me. It starts with Grease...my all time favorite. New girl  little dorky at first. Brings me back to changing high schools. I so wanted to have that crazy makeover and land the man. Then there is the one where the guy is outside the girls window camped out with the boom box! Who wouldn't want a guy outside their window with a boom box? How about 16 candles???? Everyone forgets your birthday and the hottest guy in school pops up in his overpriced car with a cake!!!!!! The breakfast club odd girl gets the bad boy!!!! Us 80's people are ruined forever! I want an 80's movie ending.


What they don't tell you when you get married is the worse. The too tired to put out because you have done all the house shit and run kids around all day. The paying bills, getting sick, the fighting over kids and house stuff. They don't tell you how hard it is to live with someone. How hard it is to not want to give up. How hard it is to not want that new relationship feeling again. How easy it is to just give up. Bottom line is though you have to look at the things that attracted you to that person in first place. You can't give up even though it is easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. Of course it is! Hello on the grass on the other side you are not paying bills, raising kids, living together, being sick together, going through good times and bad times together, losing people you love together, and living your life together. For better or worse. If you love the person you married then hold on it's going to be a rough ride. If you hold on through the worst and not give up it will work out. I just wish someone would explain it better! Any person you live with gets under your skin. When you live with your parents you bitch about all the stuff about them that drives you crazy. When you move out with a roommate they get under your skin. Then you get married thinking everything will be bliss. That is just not true. Your spouse will disappoint you and you will disappoint them. Your spouse will hurt you and you will hurt them. Your spouse will get on your last nerve and you will get on theirs too.  I do have an urge to YELL run! It is just because I know how hard it can be. I often think of myself single with no kids...I bet I would look younger. But  I would really not change a thing. Well maybe if I could re-write a few things...

So my oldest and my Twisted sisters kid look like they are siblings. How that happened I have no idea. They don't look like us but they look like each other. Some where in the family tree there are some beautiful blond haired, blue eyed beauties! Now I do have two more that look nothing like this. For some reason this crazy blog is not letting me write under this next picture. It is my cousin with a glass of wine right after her wedding. Is it crazy that I want yell your going to need that wine??????? I feel slightly bitter writing this.

This is my Godmothers family. It was her daughter getting married. She looked amazing. When Maureen first get married I was her flower girl. She was 16 when I was born. I swear I broke up her first marriage. I would go to spend weekends with her and kick her new husband out of the bed because I had to sleep with her with my arm wrapped around her neck. I love my memories with her. She would take me over night we would break into this pool in a place she didn't live in. We eventually got kicked out. After her first marriage broke up she met her second husband that she had her kids with. He worked at a bowling alley. One time she talked me into walking to the bowling the alley from her apartment. She told me...don't worry it's not that far. Bullshit we were out of breath, hot as shit and tired when we got there. When I was moving from the city to suburbs I moved in with her so I should start school at the beginning of my sophomore year. I loved living with her and her husband. Jen the one that got married was there too. My Aunts second husband died from cancer. I will never forget how painful that was to watch. I was young and dumb at the time but now that I'm older I realize how awful that had to have been. Imagine being left behind to raise your kids alone. I can't imagine which just makes me realize how strong my aunt is. She met Vince her current husband right before I got married in 1996. He thinks she hung the moon and crazy loves her! I'm so happy for her.

Blake is so happy that he is finally taller than someone! Not saying much because we come from a long line of short asses! This is my cousin Steph who oh yes was my flower girl when she was eight! For Gods sake I feel old.When Blake was born she held him for hours. We had gone to Chicago during my maternity leave. Steph would come over and hang with him all day. He was a prefect baby BTW!

Anyway, this is the family, a family I wouldn't trade for a billion dollars! I wish my cousin Jen a lifetime of happiness....do you hear me universe???????????

So Ella right away gets her drink on. Damn it if this picture doesn't bring up memories of bad lazy parenting. Blake my oldest was the ring bearer in my cousins wedding. I was pregnant Cole at the time.  I got the pictures developed from the wedding because that was the day and age before digital cameras. As I looking at the pictures I realize that Blake was sucking down amaretto stone sours. I wondered why he was a dancing machine that flat-out passed out on the dance floor. Hello lazy parenting he had a buzz on.

Ella is feeling the buzz and flying around the dance floor literally.

Well all us adults are feeling the buzz and making asses out of ourselves on the dance floor.

Don't know what Twisty and I are doing here.....Oh wait....Apple bottom jeans...LOW, LOW, LOW! For some reason I thought that looked better while in the moment. Kinda of looks like we are taking a dump in the picture! That song "I'm sexy and I know it" does not come to mind.

Don't Jump....it will be alright!!!!!!!! The reception was beautiful it overlooked the Fox river.

Dad...aka...Grumps reminds me of batman in this picture.

Poor Ella passed out from all her cocktails on the dance floor. Twisty kept on going though.

Blake had a hard time putting his phone down! Wish this kid would enjoy the moment a little more.

As the night went on the people watching got better and better.

What I love about this picture is the couple in the background. Do you see his hand on her ass????? Why is it at every wedding there is that couple.

Maybe Grumps should put his phone down and enjoy the moment. The night before the wedding I was laying in Ella's.....aka the golden jerks tipi with her. Oh yes she has a tipi set up right in the center of my parents house. I looked over at her and said.....ya know you think you are the favorite but I was here long before you and I'm Grumps and Grandmas favorite. She gets out and runs in the kitchen to ask both my parents if I'm their favorite. It was really funny!

At the wedding the party favor was a scratch off ticket. At the end of the night my twisted sister and I watched this drunk guy go from table to table checking people's tickets. We had a good laugh.

After the reception we headed to the Damn Bar and yes that is the name of it! I finally got to sit down and chat with my cousin Jen. It was a great wedding so much fun. We took a shuttle back to our hotel where we found some wedding people in the lobby still. I stayed up way too late catching up with cousins. When I went to go up to my room I couldn't get in. I was sharing a room with my brother and my son. I guess they did not hear my knocking. I panicked and went to twisty's room. I told her I could not get in mine and I was going to sleep in hers. She was having no part of that so we went down to the lobby to get me a room key. When I got in my room my brother was passed out with a mask from the wedding on. It was upside down on his head. The mask had feathers at the top. The feather was hitting his chin. He spent the whole night fighting that feather and I got no sleep. We had a great time in Chicago wish we could have stayed longer!