For better or worse!

So Friday morning Blake...aka....the nasty teenager and I headed to Chicago for my cousins wedding. I couldn't sleep the night before for many reasons. Number one I crazy hate to fly. Two I was kind of walking on cloud nine after Blake tied the middle school record from 1986 for pole vaulting!! I'm bragging for sure. I couldn't help but think where was I in 1986????? Oh yes, I was 16! Feeling stressed because I had just moved from the city to suburbs. Not fun to move in high school. Everyone already has their "groups". I can't believe my parents did that to me. I could really blog about the hell of moving in high school but I will spare you my pity party.

Anyway we were heading out on a way too early flight. Anyone who knows me knows I'm no morning gal. Just ask my BFF Kimberly! I kissed my two little ones as if it might be the last time I saw them. I looked around my house wanting to take every detail in. I wondered if I would ever see my house, kids, Hub's or dog again. I know your thinking I'm a crazy bitch but I truly am. I wonder where my dramatic 11 year old came from! I go over in my head what it will be like to go down in a plane crash. What will I do???? How will I react in front of Blake???? What will it feel like to be falling to my death????? Would the wedding go on if we plummet to our death trying to get there???? So we board the plane. My Mom told me that she always taps the outside of the plane three times before she gets on. I have taken on this crazy ritual. I tap it asking all my dead relatives not to want to see me anytime soon. There is a guy behind me that snickers. I wonder what he is thinking. We got 1st class. I'm sitting there still stressed and on walks someone I know from Dripping Springs. Crazy right? She sits down right across from us. Her and I talk through most of the flight driving everyone else in 1st class crazy. I made a few deals with God on the plane. I hope I can stay true to them. We land safely as you can see since I'm writing about it! Dad...aka....Grumps is waiting for us. I feel a little rode hard and put away wet. I have last nights makeup on and I got no sleep. I almost wish we could see the future. I would know if I would survive the plane ride. Life would be so much better. I know someday I will be on my death bed thinking damn I should have flown more.

Saturday we head out to my cousins wedding. I'm quick to pick up a man. Just kidding! This is my cousin Nick. I have mastered the cut yourself in half pose for a picture! Do you love the dress????? When I bought this dress the sales lady said...I have a perfect dress for you, it will hide anything! Insult???? I kind of think it might have been. I went into the dressing room she asked my to come out so she could see it. I came out and she said.....see hun you look skinny in this....it hides all the bad stuff. All this happened while she slapped me on the ass. I wanted to say...what bad spots????? Bad spot???...can you see last nights cheeseburger that happened to take up space right on my ass??? Can you see the years of bad eating all over my middle???? Damn it for those old people who told me my bad habits would catch up to me. Damn it for being right!  I would have totally been insulted and walked out but she was right damn it! Damn it, damn it, it sucks getting old!

So like I said I survived the plane and made it to my cousins wedding. As I'm sitting there, that for better or worse thing comes to mind. Sad that is what I'm thinking during this beautiful service. But they aren't kidding when they say that! I guess for me growing up in the 70's I watched the Brady bunch and the Huxtables (Sp?) I watched them with their perfect families and perfect kids. Imagining myself living in their perfect world. This is what I thought it would be like. BTW, the houses???? Really??? I find myself always looking for that perfect TV house. They don't exist. Then there are all the 80's movies that ruined me. It starts with Grease...my all time favorite. New girl  little dorky at first. Brings me back to changing high schools. I so wanted to have that crazy makeover and land the man. Then there is the one where the guy is outside the girls window camped out with the boom box! Who wouldn't want a guy outside their window with a boom box? How about 16 candles???? Everyone forgets your birthday and the hottest guy in school pops up in his overpriced car with a cake!!!!!! The breakfast club odd girl gets the bad boy!!!! Us 80's people are ruined forever! I want an 80's movie ending.


What they don't tell you when you get married is the worse. The too tired to put out because you have done all the house shit and run kids around all day. The paying bills, getting sick, the fighting over kids and house stuff. They don't tell you how hard it is to live with someone. How hard it is to not want to give up. How hard it is to not want that new relationship feeling again. How easy it is to just give up. Bottom line is though you have to look at the things that attracted you to that person in first place. You can't give up even though it is easy to think the grass is greener on the other side. Of course it is! Hello on the grass on the other side you are not paying bills, raising kids, living together, being sick together, going through good times and bad times together, losing people you love together, and living your life together. For better or worse. If you love the person you married then hold on it's going to be a rough ride. If you hold on through the worst and not give up it will work out. I just wish someone would explain it better! Any person you live with gets under your skin. When you live with your parents you bitch about all the stuff about them that drives you crazy. When you move out with a roommate they get under your skin. Then you get married thinking everything will be bliss. That is just not true. Your spouse will disappoint you and you will disappoint them. Your spouse will hurt you and you will hurt them. Your spouse will get on your last nerve and you will get on theirs too.  I do have an urge to YELL run! It is just because I know how hard it can be. I often think of myself single with no kids...I bet I would look younger. But  I would really not change a thing. Well maybe if I could re-write a few things...

So my oldest and my Twisted sisters kid look like they are siblings. How that happened I have no idea. They don't look like us but they look like each other. Some where in the family tree there are some beautiful blond haired, blue eyed beauties! Now I do have two more that look nothing like this. For some reason this crazy blog is not letting me write under this next picture. It is my cousin with a glass of wine right after her wedding. Is it crazy that I want yell your going to need that wine??????? I feel slightly bitter writing this.

This is my Godmothers family. It was her daughter getting married. She looked amazing. When Maureen first get married I was her flower girl. She was 16 when I was born. I swear I broke up her first marriage. I would go to spend weekends with her and kick her new husband out of the bed because I had to sleep with her with my arm wrapped around her neck. I love my memories with her. She would take me over night we would break into this pool in a place she didn't live in. We eventually got kicked out. After her first marriage broke up she met her second husband that she had her kids with. He worked at a bowling alley. One time she talked me into walking to the bowling the alley from her apartment. She told me...don't worry it's not that far. Bullshit we were out of breath, hot as shit and tired when we got there. When I was moving from the city to suburbs I moved in with her so I should start school at the beginning of my sophomore year. I loved living with her and her husband. Jen the one that got married was there too. My Aunts second husband died from cancer. I will never forget how painful that was to watch. I was young and dumb at the time but now that I'm older I realize how awful that had to have been. Imagine being left behind to raise your kids alone. I can't imagine which just makes me realize how strong my aunt is. She met Vince her current husband right before I got married in 1996. He thinks she hung the moon and crazy loves her! I'm so happy for her.

Blake is so happy that he is finally taller than someone! Not saying much because we come from a long line of short asses! This is my cousin Steph who oh yes was my flower girl when she was eight! For Gods sake I feel old.When Blake was born she held him for hours. We had gone to Chicago during my maternity leave. Steph would come over and hang with him all day. He was a prefect baby BTW!

Anyway, this is the family, a family I wouldn't trade for a billion dollars! I wish my cousin Jen a lifetime of happiness....do you hear me universe???????????

So Ella right away gets her drink on. Damn it if this picture doesn't bring up memories of bad lazy parenting. Blake my oldest was the ring bearer in my cousins wedding. I was pregnant Cole at the time.  I got the pictures developed from the wedding because that was the day and age before digital cameras. As I looking at the pictures I realize that Blake was sucking down amaretto stone sours. I wondered why he was a dancing machine that flat-out passed out on the dance floor. Hello lazy parenting he had a buzz on.

Ella is feeling the buzz and flying around the dance floor literally.

Well all us adults are feeling the buzz and making asses out of ourselves on the dance floor.

Don't know what Twisty and I are doing here.....Oh wait....Apple bottom jeans...LOW, LOW, LOW! For some reason I thought that looked better while in the moment. Kinda of looks like we are taking a dump in the picture! That song "I'm sexy and I know it" does not come to mind.

Don't Jump....it will be alright!!!!!!!! The reception was beautiful it overlooked the Fox river.

Dad...aka...Grumps reminds me of batman in this picture.

Poor Ella passed out from all her cocktails on the dance floor. Twisty kept on going though.

Blake had a hard time putting his phone down! Wish this kid would enjoy the moment a little more.

As the night went on the people watching got better and better.

What I love about this picture is the couple in the background. Do you see his hand on her ass????? Why is it at every wedding there is that couple.

Maybe Grumps should put his phone down and enjoy the moment. The night before the wedding I was laying in Ella's.....aka the golden jerks tipi with her. Oh yes she has a tipi set up right in the center of my parents house. I looked over at her and said.....ya know you think you are the favorite but I was here long before you and I'm Grumps and Grandmas favorite. She gets out and runs in the kitchen to ask both my parents if I'm their favorite. It was really funny!

At the wedding the party favor was a scratch off ticket. At the end of the night my twisted sister and I watched this drunk guy go from table to table checking people's tickets. We had a good laugh.

After the reception we headed to the Damn Bar and yes that is the name of it! I finally got to sit down and chat with my cousin Jen. It was a great wedding so much fun. We took a shuttle back to our hotel where we found some wedding people in the lobby still. I stayed up way too late catching up with cousins. When I went to go up to my room I couldn't get in. I was sharing a room with my brother and my son. I guess they did not hear my knocking. I panicked and went to twisty's room. I told her I could not get in mine and I was going to sleep in hers. She was having no part of that so we went down to the lobby to get me a room key. When I got in my room my brother was passed out with a mask from the wedding on. It was upside down on his head. The mask had feathers at the top. The feather was hitting his chin. He spent the whole night fighting that feather and I got no sleep. We had a great time in Chicago wish we could have stayed longer!

Genesis Today

When I was first diagnosed with MS in 2006 I went on a daily injectable treatment plan. I hated it so much. Imagine giving yourself a shot everyday. You never knew what kind of reaction your body would have to it either. Sometimes the shot would not effect me at all. Really most times. But when it did Oh boy! I could feel it coming like a freight train through my body. I would get a surge of heat immediately after the injection. It would go downhill from there. After being on it for over a year the reactions became to intense. When you pass out, wet your pants, throw up, have a major heat rush, your ears are ringing, your lips and mouth feels like there is Novocain in them, and you have the shakes minutes after you inject. It kind of scares the shit out of you. That was the closest I have ever felt to death. My Dr assured me that it was a just a reaction that 10 percent of people on this medication have. He said I was not close to death. Sure felt like it though. After that mother of all mother reactions I came to the conclusion that it is not good for my body. I lost no sleep over it either. The dread of  giving myself the shot every night was gone. Because I gave myself so many shots I have permanent welts in my thighs. I have researched how to get rid of those. Unfortunately the muscles there have been eaten away and are gone forever! Another scary thought right???? I was injecting myself with a liquid that eats away your muscle. Sounds healthy right???


My Doctor wanted me to go on another injectable. Now the one I was on before was the most tolerant one on the market. This new one caused flu like symptoms for two to three days after your injection. At least it was only once a week instead of everyday. Once again didn't sound healthy to me. I got all the info even got the shots. I just couldn't bring myself to give myself that shot. That last reaction had really scared me to death. I decided to give the medication a break for a while. The Dr told me an oral medication should be coming out soon. I want a cure not a medication. The Dr. told me I would most likely never see a cure in my lifetime. This just rubs me wrong when I really think about it. What has been cured???? Can you think of anything? I sure can't. How come they have figured out how to do any nip or tuck under the sun but we can't cure one disease? Don't get me wrong we can mask them with expensive medications and treatments. Those all come along with side effects. Side effects that can cause us more ill will. So the oral medications are out now. Some have side effects that mess with your liver, others cause nausea, others increase your chances of cancer, headache, body ache, flu like symptoms, rare brain disease, and so on and so on! Sounds great right???


I decide to ignore the disease. Pretend I don't have it. I guess I have listened to one two many of those ask the Universe CD's. It was always in the back of my head whether or not I was doing the right thing. I'm in a constant tug and war with myself. Lots of people don't agree with me. I do have several scars on my brain already from the disease. They can keep growing if I don't get on something. They can also keep growing if I go on something. They don't really know that much about why it works for some and not others. I do have affects from the disease but the medication can not reverse those. I decided I was going to roll the dice because I had no time to have flu like symptoms every week while trying to raise three boys.


Recently I met Dr. Lindsey, CEO of Genesis Today. Genesis Today is a juice and supplement company. They specialize in healing juices that are 100 percent pure. I sent him an e-mail asking if he had any recommendations for someone with MS that does not want to go on conventional medications. Boy did he ever. Right away he got back to me with a game plan with supplement recommendations and diet. I had dabbled in his products before but never the 100 percent pure products. I ordered everything he put on my list.


I started this system about four weeks ago. Haven't mastered the diet part. Baby steps for me. I dove right into the juice and supplement plan. I have to say I truly feel a positive change in my body. I feel better, I have more energy, less pain, less depression, I'm sleeping better, less numbness, I can exercise longer,and I just feel overall healthier. For the first time in a long time I'm not that scared to think of the future. The beauty of this system is there are no negative side effects!!!!! I will admit the first week I did feel a little sick and tired. This was because my body was starting to detox. I have S shaped poops. For anyone who watches Dr. Oz you know an S shaped poop means a happy body!! I'm going to give you a run down of everything he suggested for me. These have benefits for healthy people or sick people.

Genesis Today Noni 100........I had Noni juice before. I found it fruity and tasty. Boy was I in for a shock when I did a shot of this. Noni for me =OH NONI. The taste is AWFUL!!!!! Right away I researched wondering why this one was so awful compared to others I have tried. Others are mixed with fruit juices such as apple juice. This one is 100 percent pure and there is no hiding that. I really thought about just skipping this one because the taste was so bad. I shot it for a couple of days. I read up on it's benefits. I found a way to tolerate it by diluting it with juice. The benefits far outweighed the taste. The Noni helps digestion, it helps detox, cleansing, immunity, and inflammation.

Genesis Today Mangosteen 100....This one I can tolerate the taste. After OH-NONI anything is better. None of these have a great taste but lets not forget they are medicines. This promotes healthy immunity, joints, inflammation,  cardiovascular systems.It has also been found in scientific research to fight cancer.

Genesis Today Liquid super cleanse....This opens up the seven channels of elimination: Intestines, lungs, skin, kidneys, liver, blood, and lymphatic system.

Genesis Today Colloidal Silver......This fights many types of fungus, bacteria, viruses, yeast, amoebas, and more. Now some people believe that MS is caused by too much yeast in your system.

Genesis Today Goji 100.....This promotes healthy mood, vision, antioxidant, and immunity.

Genesis Today Acai 100.....this promotes healthy appearance, antioxidant, cardiovascular, gastric health.

Genesis Today GenEssentials Superfruit oil....This delivers omega 3-6-7-9.

Genesis Today GenEssentials Greens...This is a powder you can mix with juice or water. It delivers phytonutrients (Spelling???) equal to 3-5 servings of dark green leafy vegetables.

Genesis Today 4Total Nutrition...Now this is no party in the mouth either but again it has huge benefits. This is a liquid vitamin and mineral drink. It builds and strengthens all the bodies internal organs, cells, and tissues.

Genesis Today....4Energy...This supports energy, adrenal and brain function plus intestinal health.


I have truly benefited from the system so far. Now these are my observations from personal experience. I'm not being paid to promote this, I'm not any kind of a doctor unless a witch Dr is legit. Just kidding. I'm not suggesting anyone goes off conventional medication. This is my personal journey with the disease. If you have a chance look into the products from Genesis Today. I think they are amazing. I find most of mine at Whole Foods or online. If anyone suffering from the same disease as me wants info on the diet plan please feel free to leave me a message. Sorry for bad grammar or miss spelling! I love to write, but write I can not do very well! http://www.genesistoday.com/http://www.genesistoday.com/

Spring Break has come and gone once again.

 Hub's has been on me to put our house on the market and move closer into Drip. This picture above is one of the reasons I just might. I love this house. I always wanted a house that looked like it popped off the cover of Southern Living. I could just see myself in a rocking chair on that front porch with a beer in one hand, a spit can in the other, and a shot gun next to me. My Gramps would be proud. Welcome to the wild, wild, west! Yee hawww! How fun would it be to design a new house. Fun and overwhelming.

One of the biggest reasons Hub's wants out of our current hood is we have a shit house crazy neighbor living next to us. The other reasons are because taxes and utilities are cheaper in Drip. Oh yes and the interest rates are great now. It is sad that you can not refinance your current home for a better rate because your value has dropped. I think they should allow people who have always been current on their mortgage to refinance regardless of if the value dropped. The thought of moving overwhelms me. It makes me wish I had a wife. My closets and my drawers literally scare the B-Jesus out of me. There is no telling what kind of crap we have accumulated that lurks in there. On the other hand I feel overwhelmed by the amount of useless crap in this house. I would love to simplify and get rid of about half the people.....I mean half the shit in here. Now when you sell a house you have to stage it! When the hell or who the hell started this bullshit?????  Can't people imagine their crap in here without me taking every personal picture and half the shit out of it???? I'm  already run behind these pig pens I live with cleaning behind them. As they drop all their crap such as clothes, backpacks, food, dirt, and so on and so on!!!!!! Now I will have to make beds too! Not to mention no one living here seems to know what the thing on the toilet is that you flush with. Gross right???? Welcome to my world of shit in the toilet.


Now Hub's would like to buy a little land to put this house on. I think this neighbor has done him in. This builder also offers little one bedroom farmhouses. While discussing this move I ask if it would be alright if we build a little guest farmhouse that I can live in until these people I live with leave. I promise him that I will cook, clean, drive them around,  and put out before I retire to my peaceful space. He looks at me and rolls his eyes. I try to argue my point. I will be in a much better mood if I can have the TV, computer, and a good nights sleep with no snoring to myself. This prompted the discussion about the fact that I'm 42 and still have yet to hit my prime. I really think going into early menopause made me skip right over that craziness. Anyway we are still on the fence on whether or not to put ourselves through the hell of moving and building. Once again I find myself wishing for a wife. How nice would that be????? Think about it ladies! Can you imagine having someone to do all the birthday stuff, shop, clean, cook, drive people around, host and plan parties, take care of every ones problems, do the laundry, plus find all your shit that YOU left somewhere! Sounds wonderful to me. By the way this whole idea went over like a fart in an elevator.

 So we were on Spring Break this week! Spring Break my ass! The last few years we went snow skiing on Spring Break. That is no break either. What comes to mind is where's my gloves, my hat, my jacket, I'm cold, I fell, I don't feel good! This year we stayed home due to a bad economy. Are you as sick of hearing that as I am? We should have gone somewhere, I think we spent just as much money staying home. We have raised the "I'm bored, what are we doing next" generation of children. I'm so guilty of this  I hope there are others out there like me.  I secretly can't wait to see them with their own kids! That will be when pay back will set in. I will go to their houses ask for a cocktail and sit back and laugh while they scramble around trying to please their people.

 AHHH, the family dog! Thank God for him. I hate to say he is my favorite but it is what it is. This guy doesn't give a crap if I'm put together, if I smell nice, if I brushed my teeth, if I cleaned the house, he is never asking me for anything but food, a treat, and some love. He does not shop on line for useless crap. He does not fight with anyone in the house. He is always happy to see me. I have always hated that saying..."Men are like Dogs"! I call bullshit, if men were like dogs they would be perfect and that is just not the case! In a perfect world a man would be like a dog.

 This is what I said when Spring Break ended! Hell Yeah! I did a happy dance as they left for school Monday and I headed back to bed. I  have my TV, computer, and my sanity back. Don't know how you home schoolers do it! My hat is off to all of you.

 Spring Break also made my realize how strange my teenager is. I made pizza and he covered it with ranch dressing. I made fun of him. He posted something on Facebook about who likes pizza with ranch. He got a ton of other teenagers saying...Hell yeah! Then he posted a comment that said....Mom suck it! Really??????? Who raised you????? I would have never and I mean never made a comment like that towards my parents! I may have thought it but would have never thrown it out there. This is another long list of reasons I feel like were failing our kids. All this text and on line stuff makes them say things they would never say to someones face. It's pretty scary when you really sit back and think about it. Better have a thick skin in this day and age. Never thought I would be the one spouting out something like..."this day and age".

 This was the story of my life this spring break. See all the people I live with plus the dog sprawled out in my space. For God sakes we have a media room for them to do this in. This is my space.

So being the only girl in the house I like to think of myself as the queen. I have even tried to wear this crown around and make them obey. Doesn't really work. Still trying to master that angle.

While we were on spring break Hub's took the kids to six flags while I worked in what I thought was going to a peaceful day. About and hour into work I get a text from Hub's. The text reads....I wasted my money Aidan is afraid of every ride and I'm stuck sitting with him. I start to stress over Aidan because truth be told men handle this kind of stuff awful. I just know Hub's is trying to get him to go on rides he is not comfortable with. I text Hub's back right away. I say....remember he is our over thinker, he does not want to fear the rides but he does and you can not be mad about it. He text back..don't worry I just promised him a motorcycle if he goes on a roller coaster. This is a prime example of why that saying men are from Mars and women are from Venus rings true. Hello you are not going to buy him a motorcycle for this. Not before I get a great pair of boots or get put in the shop for all the damage these people have done to me. This is going to do nothing but break his trust in you. So my peaceful day at work turns into schooling Hub's on how to handle an over thinking scared child.  I text back and say don't lie to him it will haunt you forever, you don't want to break trust. He then text back that he promised him a baseball tee instead. That I can live with since it is 20 dollars verses 1000 dollars!

I have lots of guilt over Aidan's anxiety. He is the only one of my three that I raised all myself without the help of nannies or daycare. He is the only one that fears everything and that is me. I hate it for him. I think he has horned into my fears and have taken then on.  You miss out on lots fearing things. Plus you spend way too much time over thinking things. It is an awful way to live. Sad thing is this didn't happen to me till way later in life. A kid should not be troubled with this over thinking crap.

During spring break one of Blake's friends mom passed away. This kind of puts everything back into perspective. I did not know her well but when your from a small town you know everyone in a way. I know her daughter pretty good since she was one of Blake's friends. Her Mom had been sick for at least four of the years we lived here. I do all the pictures for boosters so I would see her at her daughters games. She would come barely being able to walk. Yet she came. I can not imagine what is is like to go to your kids games knowing you will not be there for the next season. I'm sure that all the stuff that makes you think you want to pull your hair out seems like pure bliss. All the times you complain about having to drive them to practices and give up your weekends seems like a blessing instead of a burden. I'm sure fighting kids or kids that are too loud seem alright when you know you won't hear that much longer. I'm sure as a mother you fear that you will not be there to see your kids through their life till you know they are alright is a huge scare. I really can't imagine what is like to know you are dying. I bet your persecutive on everything changes. So I took Blake to the service. I sat and watched the video playing of this women I only knew by seeing at games. I watched all the pictures of her from her youth, and her wedding, her pregnant with her children, her raising her children, and her living her life. I sat and cried it was awful and heartbreaking. I watched her brave daughter get up and speak about her mother. Then I watched her brave daughter walk away and fall in her fathers arms crying. How silly I feel blogging about the fact that my ass has gotten fatter than it was when I was younger. How shallow I feel, How dare I when people are going through stuff like this. I still can't help but cry because as a mother you know you are the glue that holds your family together. Dads are great but there just not the same. I just can't imagine having to leave these people I live with. I pray that I will never endure this type pain. I really do love these people I live as much as I bitch about them. My prayers go out to that family. Sorry again my spelling and grammar sucks as Hub's pointed out to me tonight while reading a past post. I'm  way too lazy to proof read. I'm human and I have many imperfections, writing is my biggest even though I love it...go figure! Just happy I have these people I live with driving me to insanity. Wouldn't want it any other way. Hello universe is there a half dead billionaire out there for me??????????

Call me a Rodeo gal!

So I lived in Texas half my life now. We headed to the Rodeo last Wednesday night! This was my first Rodeo. I know it's hard to believe since I seem like such a cowgirl.....yeee hawwww ya all. I even put my boots on to go. I can't wait to go back next year so I can yell...."This ain't my first Rodeo y' all"!
We headed out there with four families and twelve kids.
I have been worried about how fat my ass has gotten lately. Not after a trip to the Rodeo!!!! Where is that show "What not to wear"?????? BTW, someone I knew told me they were going to put me on that! I'm not making fun of her, I like big butts and I can not lie! Mostly because they make me feel better about mine. Shallow I know, but it is what it is.
This picture is a prime example of my biggest pet peeve about this new not so improved generation of kids. Don't get me wrong I love these two but jeez put down your phones and enjoy the moment. Maybe I should take my own advice. What can be more important than people watching at a Rodeo. This blows Walmart away.
They definitely missed this! Stuff like this is worth the overpriced trip. I wish I had more of a close up of this girls outfit. It had slits all up and down the front of the pants. I'm feeling pretty good about myself at this point. "Heeee Hawwww, y' all"!
Who can go to the Rodeo without buying and overpriced funnel cake????
After spending an undisclosed amount on the Rodeo rides we headed into the actual Rodeo. As many of "The Walmart" people that came out for the Rodeo, just as many of the pretty people showed up. Now I didn't really see these pretty people walking around the carnival. When we actually got into the true Rodeo the pretty people popped up! I thought where did these people come from. I was feeling pretty good about myself up until now. Some were dressed as if they were going to the Oscars of the Rodeo. I found myself wanting to yell sit down all you skinny ass young bitches where are the Walmart people. I thought the bull riding was the most entertaining part of the Rodeo. That was until Jake Owen came out.
I just sit back and wonder what kind of crazy cat wakes up one day and says...."I think I want to get my ass kicked riding a bull". I can say after a few beers I have thought of doing some pretty crazy things but never bull riding. Mine is more I morf into Katy Perry!
I don't know why but it gave me great pleasure to see the bulls chase the "Cowboys". Maybe I was picturing the bull chasing one of these people I live with.
Then came Jake Owen!!!!! Who knew I liked country music. What a great performance. I found myself the next day bored at work "you tubing" his songs. I may be a borderline stalker. I think he should sing the song I'm sexy and I know it!!!!! Sexy he was. Plus he just seemed to be having a great time.
There is always that crazy fan in the crowd. This guy totally had a man crush on Jake. He sang and danced like he was the only person in the room. I was kind of jealous. It seemed very freeing.
Hub's ran into the guy who just sold us my car. Oh by the way finally got rid of my way overpriced lemon when it started losing power while driving. This will be a whole other blog post. Imagine stuffing your face with a cheeseburger while driving in lots of traffic and your car loses power!!!!! What's a girl to do???? Pull over in the turn lane, finish the cheeseburger because it's damn good, and then start to panic! Anyway back to the Rodeo. The car guy ended up giving Hub's his box front row seats. Does he give them to this Jake super stalker thinking very bad things????? UM Hell no! He gave them to the kids. See the kid in the cowboy hat front row????? Yep that is my kid in my spot! The kids get everything......all my boot money.....all my sanity......all my TV's and computers......and now my front row to the I'm sexy and I know it guy!!!!! So what if Cole can sing his songs word for word and loves country music. So what if this was his first concert and he crazy loved it! I should be there...especially since Jake walked over there. He would have totally locked eyes with me and thrown me over his shoulder and taken me away from these people I live with. Are you singing that song...."Dream on...Dream on" in your head now?????
After the concert we head back to the carnival. Hub's and his friend decide there going to go on this crazy ass ride. I guess the beers have gone straight to their heads. I should have gotten a better picture of this ride. This one does it no justice. This damn ride shot up so high you could barely see the top. While it shot up so high it does circles. Made me sick watching it. So before Hub's gets on he hands me everything out of his pockets. Right before he gets on I yell....Where is the insurance policy??????? He finds my humor most annoying.
After Hub's does it my oldest and his friend Ari decide there going to go! I think they are crazy but in some way I find myself jealous again. I bet it is a huge rush.

So while I sat here and wrote this blog Hub's helped Blake with his English project. This is one of those projects that he waited till the last minute to do. Telling us all week it was almost done. I put myself in a mommy time out and secretly laughed while Hub's did homework. This is the last night of Spring Break thank God! Because it is the last night the little guys are having a hard time falling asleep. They come down first for water....second for a snack because they are STARVING.....Another glass of water...and then the famous....I can't sleep! Hub's is sitting across the table from me doing Blake's homework. He looks over at me and says..."Don't ya wish there was a legal gas that we could put them to sleep with?"! I don't agree with him half the time but I think he is on to something here! So anyway Grey's Anatomy is playing in the background. There is a girl on there that sucked a condom into her lung. I can't help but wonder can that really happen????? So Hub's is still working on Blake's project with him because he is smarter than a fifth grader. I claim not to be. I mastered this early on to assure myself of getting out of this stuff.

This week Aidan was trying to talk me into buying him something he found on line! I hate this on line shopping crap. These kids find things they never would know existed. This is a thorn in my side for sure. He says in a most dramatic award winning way...."I have waited my whole life for this"! Truth be told he found it five minutes ago. I look at him and say you are eight! You have not earned the right to use that "I waited my whole life for something saying"! I say..."You have food not only bought for you but cooked for you". I say..."You have clothes bought for you and washed for you". I say..."You have me that finds all your crap for you and you don't even pay rent to live here". I say..."Until you do all these thing for yourself you do not have the right to use that saying". He looks at me as if I have three heads and says....."I have birthday money though". Damn it!!!!! Damn it!!!!!

My oldest who last week told me his girlfriend and him were getting married after high school got dumped. Earlier in the week we were driving. He said..."Mom my girlfriend wants to marry me". I being the one who has seen the cruel world knows this will never happen but I don't want to break his spirit so I say "alright". He grasp my negativity or saw my eyes roll even though I was trying like hell not to show it. He says..."It can happen". I say..."anything can happen but please get married after college so your not living with me, I raised my kids and I just want grandkids I can send home". He then goes on to point out that his Grandma and Grandpa have been together since before the dinosaurs. They did have me at 19 and 20. Get your head out of the gutter I was planned they were married before I was conceived. That's how they did it back then. I tell him that people used to get married early back then. He then brings up my friends Ashley and Boogie who have been together since 8th grade. Alright they are the one in a million so it can happen. Guess it's not since they broke up.

I find out about the breakup on good old Facebook. Blake is at six flags and I see him posting crazy stuff about the one that got away! If I have told him once I have told him 100 times about not posting dirty laundry on Facebook. Just maybe I should take my own advice. He gets home and I ask him about the breakup. He shuts me down and tells me he does not want to talk about it. This hurts me. I have always thought of Blake and me being very close. How can he shut me out???? It does really break my heart. The next day we head to the mall together to get some digs for my cousin's wedding. While driving I beg him to tell me what happened. I tell him I'm a girl who has been there done that and I can give good advise if he lets me in. He ends up telling me. I will not blog about what he said but I will say I wanted to call a few people and act like a crazy middle school dramatic teenager and give them a piece of my mind. I tell him what I think went wrong and how a girl feels in certain situations. He asks if I think she will take him back. I have no idea but I hope so since he has liked her for three years. So he comes down tonight after he should be in bed with a handful of notes and gifts that she gave to him. He tells me he has first period with her and asks if he should give all this back. I say hell no...that is what a girl would do! I ask him if he wants her back and if he wants to keep that stuff. He says yes for both. I tell him to give her space and keep the stuff and of course be a gentleman . I'm so good at giving good advice. I'm the voice of reason when it comes to anybody but myself! If only over the years I could have taken my own advise I could hang my head high. Truth be told I have acted like a crazy idiot in my time!

So I was kind of sick of blogging. I thought..."ya know this is getting boring and I feel like I'm repeating myself over and over". I started this for my kids and then ended up getting about 3000 readers a month. So what if 20 percent are pervs and people that want to know what happens when they eat a booger. I know this because when you have a blog you can see what your readers google to get here. There are lots of pervs and booger eaters out there....just saying. It makes my invisible ass feel a little less invisible. So like I said before I started this for my kids. I read back on some of my first blog entries the other day. Sad thing was I was reading stuff I didn't remember. Another sad thing is I have awful grammar and in am in need of ghost writer. Totally embarrassed. It is there though and some of it is funny, some of it makes me cry, and truth be told life goes way too fast. Now I think if someone wants to read it to feel better about themselves so be it because I scream lazy parenting. . If someone gets bored with it they don't have to read it. I need to stop worrying. This is my life with these people I happen to live with. I think when they have their own kids it will be fun for them to read this! I also think maybe they will take my old ass in out of guilt when the time comes! I really do love these people so what if the dog is my favorite stop judging! I never proof read which is a problem but it is what it is! This is my blog and I'm happy that I have these people I live with to blog about.

MS week! Orange you going to find a cure????

I never really blog about MS. I have one time before when my sister and my family ran in my honor. This week is MS awareness week. I got diagnosed when I was 36 years old. It literally stopped me for a full year of my life. I was afraid of everything. I stayed home most of that year fearing what MS would do to me. Since then I have tried to ignore it. Sometimes it's hard to ignore. Even though I like to pretend I don't have it. It is there at many times. I had to take a daily injection when I first got it. The sad thing is I injected for over a year and my body started to reject the medication. I had episodes where I would inject and my body would reject in a way where I thought I was dying . My legs which used to be faultless have huge welts in them from the injections. I can actually feel the spots where I injected. It's like the muscle totally is gone forever.

When you have MS in the early stages it is very hard for people to understand. You don't look sick. But your body is not functioning the way everyone else's is. You wake up in the middle of the night with body sweats and it feels like someone is squeezing your insides. That used to scare the shit out  of me. Now I just know it is the disease and I have to deal with it. I woke up once and I felt like every piece of my body was buzzing. The only way I can describe it is when you sit on your feet to long and they are buzzing. This is how my entire body felt. It was MS which people refer to as the MONSTER. It is a silent monster. Like I said before a lot of people with MS don't look sick. What you don't get is they may be fighting awful fatigue, horrible vertigo, double vision, leg pain, numbness, slurring, side pain, squeezing sensation in the body, your brain doesn't work right, you repeat things, you don't remember things, your body has really starts working against you.

When you have MS you fear your future. Most people think about walking their kids down the aisle to get married and having grandchildren. When you have Ms you wonder if your going to be able to walk when your kids get married or if your able to walk when you have grandchildren. My biggest fear is a wheelchair. I try so hard to run and do active things because I don't know when MS is going to take them from me. I fear the day that MS takes away my ability  to dance or walk. I really try to dance at every party. I want to walk with my kids or my dog because I truly fear the day I can't. The fact that my body rejected the most tolerant drug for MS scares me.

I don't want to lose my legs which is why MS awareness week is important to me.  I want to continue to walk and dance.  I want a cure. I want to look forward to my future. Most people that look at me would say I have no issues. But truth be told I deal every day with the effects of MS. I feel sideways most days. Imagine your world being completely sideways that is my word. Imagine lights and sounds messing with your brain. That is my world. MS is real. The best way I can describe it , it is like your on roller coaster every hill is exaggerated while driving if I come to a hill it is intense. I sometimes lose my stomach driving and I live in the hill country. I wake up every morning and my legs are numb from the waist down. I get my kids up and my feet hurt like hell walking up the stairs. When I'm in a crowed space the sounds run through my head like freight train. I can not ride roller coasters which I used to love because of vertigo. When the weather is bad my body aches like I'm dying. Heat I hate and fear heat like nothing else. Heat just puts me out and that is all I will say.

MS is a real thing even though people with it don't look sick! I do thank God every day that I don't have cancer or something worst. I do thank God that my kids are healthy! I do have my days where I just really want to be comfortable in my own skin, Because with MS you never feel comfortable in your own skin it is every day a fight! Please fight for a cure! Even though most of us don't look sick we hide it well. MS sucks and it hurts mentally and physically! Please help the cure this is MS month! Sorry bad grammar and bad writing...remember my brain is not right!

Jump, Jump!

OmeGosh, Where do I start??? I'm so behind on this blog I don't even remember half the shit that has happened! Cole's basketball team went to the playoffs. They played six games on a Saturday. They ended up coming in second. As excited as I was that the team had come so far, I was not that excited about sitting through six games from 8am-6pm on a Saturday. Right now it feels like time I will never get back. I bet in a few years it will feel like time I wish I could get back.
Erin......aka... "the one upper" won't give it a rest. I get home from the long day at basketball. I walk back to my bathroom and this scares the shit out of me!!!!! Now we are watching "the River" together and we keep trying to prank each other with shit that goes on, on the show. At first I thought we had finally done Hub's in! He couldn't take it anymore! Poor soul hung himself in the shower. He did just come out of the bedroom last night complaining about all the shit I do that drives him crazy!!!!!! I was quietly watching my shit TV minding my own business when he came out of the bedroom and said I have a few request. I paused the TV because I know damn well his request will go into great detail. First he said....Can you stop leaving toothpicks around. I use these to separate my lashes. I say....Um what's the big deal???? He says...I just stepped on one and it stabbed my foot!!! I can't help but laugh. This irritates him more. He looks at me and says....REALLY! Next he says....all the oily shit you put on your face at night is all over everything.......the toilet, the sink. the drawer handles, the door, and so on. I say but it makes my skin soft. He roles his eyes! His last request is that I clean up all the "Kerry corners" in the house. He likes things put together says everything has a place and it should be in it!!! I feel everyone needs corners to put the shit that doesn't truly have a place somewhere! We are polar opposites for sure but somehow we make it work. We are kind of like that odd couple. I would be the sloppy one. I would be just fine laying around for days without a shower in my PJ's watching shit TV. That kind of stuff drives him batty. He showers after a shit sometimes. Needless to say it was not Hub's hanging in the shower. He would never be dressed like that anyway!
My neighbor Erin calls wanting her Dummy back. I say....You'll get it back alright but not tonight! A few days later she calls me to take a chicken out of her oven. I go down to her house dummy in hand giggling all the way. I'm going to get her back! I look around for the perfect place to place him. I think long and hard. I thought hanging him outside her back door is perfect. I could just see her getting home to let the dog out. She will open the door and scream bloody murder. The whole time I'm hanging this I'm laughing out loud.
The crazy German's house is in between mine and hers. As I'm hanging this dummy I feel like someone is watching me. I look over and there in the window is the Germ and his wife. They are taking pictures of me. I take a picture of them and wave! I can just imagine what kind of shit they are talking about me. So I go home and I wait for Erin's dramatic call telling me I scared the shit out of her. Some time goes by and nothing! I can't stand it so I call her to make some small talk. I keep waiting for her to say something. Finally she says something! It was not the scary story I had imagined in my head. She said when she was driving home she came in from the back way so she saw it hanging in the yard from the street! Damn it...I thought I placed it perfect! I was "one upped" again.
After basketball season we roll right into track. This means getting Blake to school way too early in the Am. He is having another great pole vaulting season. He keeps coming in second in the meets. He can't beat some darn Lake Travis kid. I'd really like to see him come in first for district. It's sad and I hate to admit it but I always hope that LT kid doesn't make it over! Bad I know, I can't help myself!
We also roll right into Baseball season for Aidan. This is actually his first time playing. He usually does soccer. He seems to a natural at this! Me personally find this sport extremely boring. Especially at this age. It is the first year for kid pitch. The kids haven't exactly mastered pitching. This just means that most batters end up walking after so many bad pitches. It's going to be a long season. I was never the girl that loved to watch sports. I only pretended to enjoy sports when trying to land a dude. Who would have thought I would spend 80 percent of my life watching sports. I'm supposed to be at American Doll buying over priced dolls that look like my daughter. I'm supposed to be watching dance recitals. Buying pink shit and decorating fun girls rooms. Funny thing is I wouldn't change a thing now.
Hello padded cell my name is Kerry! I had yet another kids Bday party after I said never again. I put it off again hoping Cole and Aidan would forget about a party. No such luck! So we head out to a trampoline place with 13 kids. When I first get there I think damn this is a money making machine. I should so open one of these in Drippin. I'm having a great time jumping around with the kids! That is until 15 minutes into our two hours of HELL party something goes terribly wrong. Blake being his jackass teenager self decided to show off! I know your shocked right??? He starts to do these crazy flips. Then another jack ass teenager that is not with us out flips him. Blake is having none of that! He has to "one up" the kid! I have no idea where he gets this. He one ups him alright!!!!!! He does about three flips. One the last flip he hits the wall and his knee hits his face so hard I can hear it! I don't realize how hurt he is at first. So I get the camera out and start taking pictures. Mom of the year here! I knew he was bleeding but all of the sudden he is really bleeding.
I'm standing there like a deer in headlights frozen. I don't do well with this kind of stuff. He looks up at me and he is white as a ghost, his eyes look odd and blood is everywhere. I scan the room for Hub's starting to feel sick to my stomach. I'm feeling very light headed at this time. I spot Hub's and start to yell for him. I'm getting sicker by the minute. Feeling like I'm going to lose my cookies I head outside for air. Hub's has to help him up to get him to the bathroom because he is about to pass out! I'm in a total full blown panic attack. I go outside and call my Twisted sister to keep my mind off of this. I walk back in and they are still in the bathroom. I pace around the place waiting for them to come out. The carpet in this place is enough to make me think I'm tripping on acid. When they finally come out Hub's says...I think his nose may be broke and he chipped his tooth. This party just got way more expensive. I still can't kick the feeling that my cookies are coming! Now any good parent would leave the party and take the kid to the ER! Not this mom of the year! I just paid way too much to walk into this place. We are getting our two hours worth. So I tell Blake to sit down relax and we will see if his eyes turn black. That is a sure sign that it is broke.
Of course bad Karma comes knocking at my door! This is when Cole lands wrong and thinks he snapped his neck. This place is a lawyers play ground. I will never be opening something like this. So Cole is most dramatically crying and saying....I heard my neck snap...I'M HURT, I'M HURT, I'M HURT! If he said that once he said it five hundred times. I panic again like a deer in headlights. I run to get Hub's! God forbid if I'm ever alone in an emergency. I just freeze in these situations I'm good for nothing! Hub's gets him up and assures him that he did not snap his neck he only popped it. I go to look for Aidan and his friends.
Talk about a "WTF" moment! I find Aidan in the dodge ball pit! See in the picture the little guy dressed in white all by himself on the one side of the dodge ball pit. That is where I found Aidan. Last man standing with about seven teenagers ready to belt his ass with a ball. I watch for a minute as all these teenagers are about to take him out. I'm thinking damn, three strikes and I'm out! They all try to hit him. They don't get him and he starts antagonizing them. When they don't get him he shows them his guns!!!!! Are you kidding me kid your asking to get it! He finally gets it! He comes out as if nothing happened even though he just got belted with multiple balls. At the point I'm ready to get the F@#$ out of this nightmare.
We figured out that Blake's nose was not broken but his tooth was chipped. Good thing we stayed for two hours of pure HELL. This is me when were leaving saying...Hell yeah jumping for pure joy!!!!!!! That song "looks like we made it" is playing in my head. If I have said it once I have said it every year, kids birthday parties are overrated!!!!!!! To all you new moms out there don't do bday parties ever.....they will haunt you forever! Give them cash and pay their little asses off!

So I have been working out, really working out for weeks now! I haven't lost one damn pound. It's bullshit! I was up late watching Dr Oz, he said after 40 you have to work out four days a week just to maintain your fat ass self as you are! I can remember thinking I was fat at 110 pounds....all I can think now is you dumb Fing ass! Are you dry humping me?????? I was the girl who never gained a pound no matter what crap I put in my body! I don't like this 40 crap! Life begins at 40??? Really??? I don't want to eat right an exercise non stop. Here's the thing....when you used to be that girl that could do what you wanted without working out it comes as a shock to you that cheeseburgers really do end up on your ass. When I work out I'm starving after. For all you old asses out there I end up like "Mango" from Saturday night live eating shit like a crazy person on the table. Ya know people take pleasure in talking about you when you are finally fat. My damn muffin top now has a roll on top of it! The only nice thing is I have a great rack, sad thing is that will go if I lose this weight. I could only wish it was just a muffin top now. Who knew I would miss just a muffin. This is why we should age in reverse. When my Mom was here a few weeks ago I told her what I weighed. She didn't believe me and had me get on a scale. I was on the phone with her and she tells me she told my Aunt what I weighed. My Aunt didn't believe it. She told her I saw she get on a scale. Later I was thinking she was totally shit talking my weight. I'm getting this off!

I went away for a girls weekend this past week. I do not blog about those! When I got back Aidan said...I'm so glad your back! I said...Why?? He said I worry about you when your gone. I say...Why would you worry?? He says... I worry something will happen and you won't come back. I tell him don't worry I will always come back unless I meet that half dead billionaire I asked the Universe for! Totally kidding!!!!! I'm sad that my baby is such a worry wort! So sorry for bad spelling, bad grammar, bad writing and so on! I'm too lazy to proof read! I takes a lot to write these! BTW, the house was a mess when I got home! What would these people I live with do without me???????