School's out for SUMMER!

All week I have seen Mom's posting count downs on facebook to their kids summer vacation. I have seen post that say.....I can't wait to spend the summer with my child. These Mom's make feel guilty because I am counting down the days to when school starts back up. Don't get me wrong I love my kids but the weekday breaks are just fine with me. We have the weekends to spend time with them. First day out of the gate and Aidan paints my GOOD lipstick all over his face. When I say good I mean it's the stay on and play kind of lipstick. So when we tried to wash it off his face he ended up having a rosy glow for a few days.

First day out of the gate Cole is pouting in the laundry room. Decides he is going to get me and pulls the clean clothes out of the dryer and lays his dirty ass body all over them. Me I am thinking have at it those are your sheets and towels anyway. I know there are great things about summer. Pool time, parties, sleeping in, warm weather, vacations, gardens, picnics, seeing family, and so on. I keep trying to brainwash myself with these thoughts.

First day out the gate and this one can't communicate with anything but a phone. I want to tell him to stop and smell the roses once in a while. He will just look at me as if I'm a three headed monster.

There are so many things about the many weeks ahead that scare the shit out of me. Number one being how many times I'm going to hear my name called a day. How many times I'm going to clean the kitchen in a day. How many farts and burps I'm going to smell. How many times I'm going to have to play ref. How I'm going to have to hear the Disney channel on one TV and Xbox on the other. I will miss the 8:30 bedtimes. I will miss my morning nap and my late night TV. How many sleepovers I am going to have to endure. How much food and drink I will go through. For these people will take over everything!

Second day out of the gate Aidan says........I won't ask cause I know your going to say NO! I say.....your very smart not to ask then. Aidan says again......I know your going to say No so I won't ask. ME......GOOD THEN DON'T ASK! He walks around the kitchen and opens every drawer and cabinet in frustration. I look at him and tell him....go put the kitchen back the way you found it. Then I say....I'm not going to tell you what I'm going to do to you if you don't but I'll tell you that your not going to like it!


Day two....walk into the garage to find duct tape with cheese on it. Call dumb and dumber out to ask what's up. They tell me there is a mouse in the garage and they are trying to catch it. I think to myself kind of a smart idea, right?????

Day three....six frickin ants in the kitchen. Now I am a clean biatch, I have no tolerance for crumbs and ants!

Day four.... broken toilet....no one knows how! The funny thing is Michael spent the last two days screaming about these people pissing on the floor. Sad thing is toilet is cracked but no one knows how. New toilet chi ching, chi ching!

Day five...broken fridge......sent Aidan out to get a frozen pizza came in with a thawed out pizza. Freaked out thinking these people left the freezer open. Told them they owed me money for all the ruined food I just bought. Mind you I just went to Sam's and bought a bunch of pizza's, pizza rolls, corn dogs, tacos and ice cream for summer. All ruined by the way. Later that night I go for a cold beer that happens to be warm and realize the fridge pooped out! Chi ching, chi ching!

Day six.... forgot I RSVPed to a party for Aidan. He was a no show! Mom of the year once again!

day seven....went to work, put Blake in charge. Came home to an open back door...at least twelve flies in the house. Kitchen looked like a bomb went off. It's going to be a long summer. Zanex??????? Anyone????

So the long and the short is I find myself coming up with inventions. First being an alarm clock that goes off in your head. You would program your shit in it and it would ding the day before plus one hour before an event. Therefore you would not miss shit your supposed to be at.

My favorite invention would be the one where you could freeze time. You could freeze the people you live with, take a nap, get up and get your shit done! My fear would be I would freeze it way too long!