Get over yourself

Kelly...aka...Twisty and I are total polar opposites. She is as anal as they come. Me on the other hand is a fly by the seat of my pants kind of gal. As much as Kelly is my very best friend I know we are going to have a few disagreements over the next few weeks. We are sharing a bed together. A damn full size bed mind you. First night she told me to pick a pillow and stick to it. Things like laying on someone else's pillow don't bother me. This kind of stuff drives her insane. It's not like I'm some greasy barf bag that's going to infect her pillow. We wake up after our first night together. She says.....Um ya know you were trying to spoon me last night. I say I didn't think I moved, I woke up in the same spot I laid down in. She is like.....you even swung your leg over my body. Not to be a jerk but she is sick and coughed all night....am I complaining??? Hell no. The whole shower situation is under her skin for sure. Six of us are sharing the same bathroom. Kelly is super stressed out over the towel situation. She does not want to use anyone's towel other than her own. This is another thing that does not bother me. Not like we're a bunch of scum bag barf bags here. You dry off when you're clean right???? I go into the bathroom on day two to find sticky notes over the hooks. So we each have a hook with our name and a towel on it. Hello three of these people we are sharing the bathroom with our kids. Do you really think they are going to pay a bit of attention to these sticky notes???? Hell to the NO they are going to grab the first towel they see. Twisty might just have to put a towel in her room that is hers only.

I love to get under her skin. I leave her a personal sticky note. She comes down and says....who put that sticky note on the mirror. I just shrug my shoulders. It's funny cause yesterday when my Dad...aka...Grumps and me were in the final stage of our trip. Aidan and I dropped Grumps off at the airport where his car was. After we dropped him off we blasted the radio and sang at the top of our lungs. Can't do that with Grumps in the car - he likes it peaceful. We on the other hand like to ROCK out. As we were getting closer to home I got this overwhelming feeling of pure joy. I crazy love to be home. I can't wait to see all my relatives and friends. I love that my Mom and Dad like to do shit for me while I'm there. They cook for me, they buy me my favorite things, and they make me feel like a kid again. It is such a nice break from the reality of raising kids. If my kids talk back to me at all my Grumps jumps all over their ass. I just sit back and smile....guy still has my back!

Dinner is crazy with nine people every night! I pride myself on doing something inappropriate with the food. I love to take pictures too. This is the kind of shit that drives Grumps crazy, Debbie on the other hand finds it most amusing. BTW, learned this from her. I remember being at a family reunion and on our way out Debbie took two little drink umbrellas and put them somewhere funny as she twirled them. We have pictures from over the years of us with asparagus hanging out of our noses. If there is a sausage meal there is definately a picture.

So day two for meal time I came up with a game that I learned on the Oprah show. You go around the table and everyone has to tell you the best thing about their day and the worst thing. I did this for a while in my house. It was great but it fell by the way side as so many of my good ideas do. I have to say Kelly...aka...Twisty's was the best worst story of the day. We get to her and she says something like.....The best part of my day is we are all together.....the worst part of my day was while at work I had to poop and it was that never ending poop where you can't get off the pot. Are you starting to get why I call her Twisted sister! Thank God we started this game after we were all done eating. Eating giant sausage! Grumps chimes in with.....speaking of poops I flushed a few today that weren't mine. Me, I'm thinking welcome to my world. There is a prize waiting for me in every bathroom in my house. After dinner Kelly is headed out to get her two dogs. She looks at me and says....your dog might want to eat because once my dogs get here we're going to have to put his bowl up. Hello dolly.....So I need to re-train my perfect dog to eat on command. My dog is one laid back mother pucker, dude eats when he wants. This for sure is a future fight between Twisty and I.

The first night here being slightly uncomfortable with Twisty coughing all night, I jump into Mom and Dad's bed after they leave for work to get some of that dreaming about the vamp sleep. I am woken up from the sound of Ella walking up and down the hall asking for breakfast. Now Kelly is like me and likes her sleep so she is ignoring this as long as she can. I can't sleep let alone dream about the vamp. I text Kelly....Hey get up your kid wants to eat. I kind of feel like I have done my time three times over with that shit. It's my time to sleep for sure. I earned it! Hanging out with Ella is a rude awakening. As much as I love the crap out of her I did not miss Mr. Noodle. I forgot how most annoying Mr. Noodle could be. While watching Mr. Noodle at breakfast, Cole turns it up because Kelly and I talk way too loud. Shortly after breakfast I get into the shower singing the most annoying song - Elmo's world. Can't get that damn song out of my head! Hello welcome to two year old TV Hell! How I forgot.

So Aidan totally takes advantage of being at Grandma's house. She is a totally different animal than what I grew up with. He remembers from last summer that after my Mom, Kelly, and I got our toes down she set up a spa for them. So Grandma is about to go to bed and he starts this begging the crap out of me for a foot bath. I say...Hell to the NO! Grandma being someone I don't even recognize gets him set up with a spa treatment for his feet. I would love to rewind the hands of time, and ask for a spa treatment before Debbie was headed to bed. It would have went something like this.....Are you crazy, get your ass in bed, who do you think you are?! My kids have a totally different perspective of Debbie. They get spa treatments, ice cream at ANY time of the day, and if they are hungry at midnight they have been known to be cooking eggs or mac & cheese. This crap would have never flown in my days! Bullshit I say!

Wednesday we headed to Uncle Jimmy and Aunt Beth's house. I love my relatives, I have the best family in the world. So Aunt Beth, Kelly, and I head out for a pedi. The boys stay at Beth's house for fun with Uncle Jimmy, who is still a kid at heart so they love to be there! I'm a little sad since on our past trips the first place we headed was to Grandma's. I still have a hard time believing she is gone. Jimmy is the baby of the bunch. The funny thing is he is my Grumps youngest brother. He is closer in age to me than Grumps. What I feel strange about is I think Grandma spent most of her life pregnant.....that to me is amazing! Being PG is kind of for the birds.

Uncle Jimmy being the kid at heart that he is lets the kids do things that all the Mom's are thinking.....REALLY!

Ella is a ROCK star...even if she took my Grumps total attention from me. I still LOVE the crap out of her even though she stole my thunder.

Being the oldest has it's rewards! My Mom stopped and got my all time favorite cookies. Twisty tries to say they were for both of us. Truth be told...Mom came in and said these are for me. Back off Twisty.....I'm the golden child at least this month.

Anyway...Love being home! Even though we are going to get under each other's, skin I love it! These I know are going to be the best memories of my life!