Flat Vamp

So I'm busy at work today. All of the sudden the doorbell rings. I answer and there he stands again. I say.....Did you follow me????? Edward says... I.....I feel protective of you. Me......So you followed me. Edward says....I was trying to keep my distance and then I heard all those dirty thoughts in your head. Me......Wait did you just say you could hear what I has thinking?....So your not only ridiculously hot but you read minds too. Edward tells me he could read every ones mind but mine. I look at him and say is there something wrong with me???? He says....see I tell you I read minds and you ask if somethings wrong with you! Then I say how did you know I was thinking dirty thoughts about you???? He says....just a guess. I tell him I have work to do so he needs to go. He tells me he will be watching me because he is always watching me.

Some time goes by and all of the sudden I see him at the back door looking in. I say ......what are you still doing here?????? He says....I should have left a long time ago. I should leave now. But I don't know if I can. I say....So what your saying is I'm your brand of heroin???? He says....yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin. I say....please go away, I have work to do!

I finally get off work and there he is waiting by my car for me. Shit dude, get out of the sun. you weren't kidding when you said you sparkle like a diamond in the sun. He looks at me and says.....do you love me? I say....of course I do. He says.....So the lion falls in love with the lamb. I say....who am I the lion or the lamb???? I was kind of thinking I might be the cougar. I am the lamb and I like that...it just sounds nicer than cougar. I say...what a stupid lamb. He says.....what a sick, masochistic lion.

On our way home we stop at a friends house for a beer. Her son comes around the corner and says....Who is that???? I say he is my boyfriend. Her son punches my boyfriend a few times and then shoots him with his toy gun. I tell him Aidan pulled that cramp on my Vamp last night and I sent him to his room. I tell him to back off because I'm really protective of my man. Even though he is three I think he thinks I may have just went off the deep end.

We get home and hang out together. Hub's is also annoyed with this shit. He tells me I think you may just have a problem. Now if I would have got him myself he may be right but he really did just show up at my door. We have a basketball game to go to. I want to take my man but hub's doesn't let me!

We get back from the basketball game and the Vamp helps me make a cookie cake for Aidan's B-day. While were cooking he tells me.....My family were different from the others of our kind. We only drink animal blood, but it's your scent. It's like a drug to me. I look at him and say... Why did you hate me so much when we first met???? He tells me I did, only because of wanting you so badly. I still don't know if I can control myself. I say...I know you can but please don't eat my dog he may just be my favorite of these people I live with. As far as controlling yourself with me please Vamp.....take me already!

We do the basketball ball game, come back and make the cookie cake for Aidan's B-day. I'm kind of looking like that rode hard and put away wet girl. Edward looks at me and says....your hair looks like a haystack, but I like it! He may just be perfect. He asks me if I dazzle him. I say frequently. Anywho, these people I live with are most annoyed with my new toy. Mostly because he scares the shit out of them when they come around the corner. Hub's just thinks I have taken a jump off the deep end. But truth be told I'm totally entertaining my lame ass with this life size Edward.

So I propped my Edward up next to me and we checked the little guys Thursday folders. Now Thursday folders are when work and notes come home for the week. I have to laugh my ass off when looking through Aidan's work. He had this new years resolution guy with a party hat one. It said.....My New Years resolution for this year is.....Stop yelling at my brothers, start exercising and sharing. Eat less, eat better and read better! Thus far he is just like me he only hit a few of those! Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Then I'm looking at Cole's work. He has a health lesson...they did a diagram of the body. They had to draw body parts and point them out. I realize I have much work to do with this one. He drew a giant penis and called it the rectum. I just have to wonder what that teacher thinks of me! Anywho, still here in LaLa land waiting to win the lotto because my lemon of a car is about to cost me 2500.00 dollars. All I can think is that could be good plastic surgery money...or boots! At least now I have a life size Vamp to entertain my days!