Aren't they CUTE! Well one of them is of course. So the kids had a four day weekend! WOOO HOOOO glad it's coming to an end. Went to a birthday party Monday morning came home with an extra child....at least he is a well behaved one. So Blake the oldest wants to have a few friends over...sure why not. I end up with 5 middle school boys hanging out in my media room. Now this room has no windows so it has very poor air circulation! I go up to check on them and the room has a very odd aroma in the air almost a combo of stinky feet, doo doo, dirty hair, and AXE! I promised Cole my middle one he could have his friend spend the night! So I farm Blake off with one of his friends. I take the kids to MIGHTY FINE burger for a mighty fine burger! When we get home I see it...........there it is Blake's cell phone left behind! This excites me because that thing is always attached to him and is buzzing constantly. I GET TO SNOOP! I love to snoop and I am damn good at it! I go to the inbox and everything is in code I have to google the shit to find out what it all means! Let me tell you, you have to be on top of your game and one step ahead raising kids in this information and "ME" society we live in now. I'm still trying to decode one message "TrIhays". Well messages are pretty boring...Thank God. Kinda like "hey whatcha doing" Nothing, I'm bored" NOW I'm bored. So I'm messing around in the kitchen probably cleaning it for the tenth time that day.....when I hear the phone buzz OH, it's an incoming text on Blake's phone. So he gets a text from a girl and I really want to text her back and act like I'm Blake just to see what they talk about....I really have to talk myself off the ledge on this one cause I know I will get caught if I do it. So I hide the phone from myself, out of sight, out of mind!
So over the weekend I talked my hubby into getting a bunch of stuff done around the house with the promise of NOOKIE. I know I have to pay up tonight! Kinda exhausted from the kids being at home all day I think a get out of jail free card would be really nice. Hum I got over the friend thing so I can't use that, I could say wow I'm itchy I wonder if something is wrong???!!!! That for sure would be a turn off. I decide to get dressed in my awful PJ's with a cookie monster top, take all my make up off, put my hair in a ridiculously high pony tail, and load up my face with a cream mask! I don't know why but I think this will turn him off! So I try to avoid eye contact with him all night! I think I'm home free cause he says I'm going to bed now. Then he says are you going to come get in your PJ's.....which is code for NOOKIE! I'm thinking shit I should have used the itchy story! Anyway lets just say I have a get out of jail free card for the next few days!
So I got the big "YOU ARE THE WORST MOTHER IN THE UNIVERSE" line tonight! This came from none other than Cole. Wow the universe that's a step up. Earlier we were watching Oprah and she was talking to this family who's Mother abused them and they were telling a story about the mother feeding them their pet bunny. So I say Am I worst than the Mother that fed her kids the bunny?????? He sits there quite for a few minutes and then he says"Well yes" Are you kidding me kid all I did was refuse to go sit upstairs and watch you play a video game and that is worst than the bunny feeding MaMa! Get your "ME" generation ass upstairs and think about that and I'll be up in a bit to re ask that question. So he runs upstairs crying. Meanwhile My oldest is sitting in the office waiting for the hubby to come in to give him a talk. Earlier in the day I pulled up his grades on line and found out that he has a zero for a homework assignment and failed a test that he swore up and down he studied for! Gotta love that you can go on line log in and see what your kids test scores, homework grades, and project grades are! Thank God they did not have that when I was a kid. Anyway I walk in the office and say "DUN DUN DUNNN" he looks at me and says "are you really finding it funny that I'm going to die?" DIE what are you talking about! He says "Dads going to kill me!" NO he's just going to yell, take away your X-box, take away your phone, and make you do homework all night every night! Now wouldn't it have been easier to do that homework and study for that test! He says "YES" I say when are you going to get smart and realize I DO KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! Hubby comes in to scare his little ass and I head upstairs to re ask the bunny question. He has re thought that bunny commit and decided that I'm not worst than the bunny feeding MaMa! Smart kid, I don't know what my next plan would have been if he would have said I was. Anyway another fabulous few days with these people I live with.
1 comment:
Damn, you're funny. Who knew? Well I did, but now everyone else will know too. Keep it up, no pressure.
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