Day two of...the early X-mas!

So on this day Debbie is still with us. We love Debbie by the way! Tonight the kids are going to open the Xmas gifts from her and the Grump.

The little guys get these cute tiger hats since there school mascot is a tiger.

Can't wait till football season, these will be a must have!

Hold back your excitement! Thirteen is such a fun age.

Is this a wooden moose??????????

Finally something he likes.....$$$$$$$$$

The little guys are really excited to open their gift. They have no idea what they are getting.

Grandma and Grandpa got them a X-box 360!Our Christmas tree with the gifts that have been shaken to death underneath.

X-mas early

So Sunday night we opened one X-mas gift each. We started this tradition when we moved to Austin three years ago. Since we no longer spend X-mas eve or X-mas day at our house. I want my children to remember opening gifts under their tree. Especially since it's such a pain in the ass to decorate. I actually like it better this way, I think the Jewish were on to something with Hanukkah. The kids appreciate the gifts more. Instead of mowing through a bunch at once with paper flying everywhere and people not even knowing what they got because it's on to the next! They actually enjoy their gifts and play with them for one full day.

Aidan gets one of those titanium necklaces, because Blake has one and Blake is his idol. It's cute and all that he looks up to his big brother, but damn I really don't enjoy having to dress a seven year old in Abecrombie and hundred dollar shoes. Not to mention that forty dollar necklace. This for me just means less expensive boots for me.

Cole waits very nicely while Aidan opens his gift. He kind of gets the shaft since Aidan is the baby he gets to go first a lot.

This picture cracks me up because at this point the gift is a brown box! What's with the excitement in the eyes....it could be a box of rocks for all he knows. I love that he is just excited to be getting something. These are the times I think to myself....see I can't be that bad.

So Cole being the Cowboys fan he is got a Jersey with his name on the back. Just another thing that Blake got before him and he has wanted since. See here we have another fan of Blake. This again just costs me more money!


So Mom.....aka....Debbie is in town. I'm so glad she got to come and spend this special time with us. She wanted to get on my blog while she was here. Since she's not so computer savvy I don't really worry about her getting on here. The relatives have done a good job of keeping my shit talking on the down low! I think....SHIT, I have kind of poked a little fun at her on here. She reads it and says it's pretty funny. I think....wow I'm in the clear. HELLO, Of course I'm not in the clear! After a Cozmo, Deb tells me she would like me to retract a statement from one of my entries. Me, I'm thinking which one????? In my Chicago entry I said she likes to pay full price for things because she knows they are quality then. She informed me that she does not like to pay full price and she in fact likes a deal. What she doesn't like is a "knock off" like twisted sister and I! The problem is when she finds a deal she gets one in every color and spends more money.

So this night I made the mistake of leaving facebook up on the computer. I tell Debbie I'm going up to put the kids to bed. She says she is going to bed too. This always takes longer than I think. When I come down everything is silent. I come down to find Deb sitting in front of my computer. I know right away this can't be good. She looks guilty as hell when I ask what she's doing. What she is doing is hijacking my facebook page. My twisted sister wrote on my wall....how did you blog with Debbie there.... is she in bed????? Debbie replies.....Mommy Dearest is putting her kids to bed and this is Debbie!

So while Debbie was visiting my Dad....ake...Grump went out and got himself a fast laptop! My twisted sister's brother in law who is super computer savvy put a shortcut on there to my blog and my sisters. Now Debbie scares me and she can put my ass in dust with her smart ass comments. I may have to tone things down in fear she will out do me! BTW, Debbie
I love you!

A day in Wimberly

Mom...aka...Debbie Downer flew in Friday night. Saturday we headed out to Wimberly TX. We dragged ass of course. Before we left Debbie informed me that my house might burn down if I did not unplug my X-mas tree. In the past she has told me not to run the washer and dryer because they too can burn the house down. My favorite is don't run the dishwasher because you may flood the house while your out. And I wonder why I WORRY all the time. I think she should spring for some good therapy for me!

Let me tell you the boys have a blast shopping in these "Home Inspired" shops. Cole always manages to make the best of it! He tries stuff on, he entertains the locals, and he always chases Geese.

There is the cutest little candy shop where the boys always buy candy cigarettes.

I really think they love these for "SHOCK" value. Everyone that walks by does a double take. Most people put their two cents in as well. Some laugh and whisper, others say things like what's your brand or your way to young to smoke. Then there are the people that look at them like they have been raised by white trash, they roll their eyes and whisper, because I'm sure their rich ass has raised the perfect children. My pet peeve is judgmental people. Now don't get me wrong I have done my fair share of judging when I have had no right. I'm really trying to change that part of me. It is a BAD quality to have. No one really knows why someone is making bad decisions. Me, the candy cigarettes as bad as they may be, shut their asses up for at least an hour. I just stayed a few feet behind them and acted like they belonged to someone else.

Scary thing is Cole looks like a professional smoker with the leg up and arm resting on the bench. I SEE.........ZANAX in my future.

Webkinz.......what can I say except jealous. side note.....totally had to have Cole walk over and spell Webkinz for me because I'm truly not smarter than a 5th grader. Who would have thought that some dumb ass stuffed animal that you feed and house on-line would take off like this. They don't even really want the animal , they just want that damn code it comes with it to decorate the animals house on line. Didn't this company make enough money on Beanie Babies??? Which BTW, I have about one hundred and fifty of.......I'm keeping these suckers, some day they will come back!

After shopping we head over to the Emily Anne theater in Wimberly for the beautiful light display they do every year.

The kids complain about going but have fun once we get there. They roast hot dogs and marshmallows by the fire there. We walk through beautiful light displays. It has become a family tradition since we moved here.

The work that goes into these displays are awesome. The best part it is all free, they do ask for a small donation when you walk in, but totally worth it.

The boys have fun putting their heads in the little cut-outs they have everywhere.

They have some belly dancers there that night. Cole being the entertainer he is tries to do every move these belly dancers are doing. Maybe because he is my kid I find him way more entertaining.

There is a place where the kids can write a letter to Santa......too cute! The sad thing is I think I scared the crap out of Cole and Aidan about being on "NAUGHTY WATCH" with Santa. They were afraid to see him while we were there. I may have taken this shitz a little to far this season. But damn it has come in handy for some sanity for me! I'm not sorry and I don't have any guilt!

I can always depend on Cole for a picture! He poses like a rock star in Cinderella's carriage. Now Cinderella is a can of worms I don't want to get into. All I can say is.......why do we teach our girls that this is possible????? There really is NO prince charming like this. I love it...someone that sees you once and chases all over town for your shoe size. Hello ladies in reality guy just wants a piece! I guess I have gotten cranky in my old age. What the world has done to me!

Another great picture....see they are finally getting into this! Anyway these people are driving me crazy and it is really day one of the break.

Thoughts of my day.......I have a conversation in my head almost constantly......difference between me and the crazy person...they are talking out loud! Scary thought....right???

Calgon????

The week before Xmas to me has been crazy! I finally found something I can bake and it actually taste good. I can pass it out to neighbors with no embarrassment. Alright so it may be baking for dummies but if it taste that good no body really cares.

The hardest thing about this is unwrapping all the Rollo candy that you put on top of the pretzels.

When I bake it kind of looks like a bomb went off in the kitchen. This is when I'd like a little fairy cleaning lady to come clean this shitz up!

The week before Xmas also means broken ornaments in my house! These people owe me some money!!!!

Thursday we head out for a little adult fun! Now the guys went too but they were just not as cute as us. We go to the Four Seasons for some drinks and dinner.

I kind of look a bit like the Xmas tree. This jacket is sooooo cute, but where else will I ever wear it.

Recognize this guy???? Yep, I ran into yet another famous face in Austin. It's Mike from "Dirty Jobs". He was at the bar at the Four Seasons. So I walked up to him, told him I had a really dirty job for him. He told me he already had a prior commitment. Now get your mind out of the gutter. You don't know what dirty job I asked him to help me out with.

After "Four Seasons" we head out to 6th street for some dancing. Feeling no pain since we have a limo we can all have fun. We all end up doing that crazy dance where you find your hands over your head thinking you look good! You never even realize how bad this is until you are the sober one in a group of drunks. Yes, this has happened to me before, I was PG but who's judging! Oh wait, everybody!

See the guys really did come with. We ignored them as long as we could. Damn, they had this great band there. Every song they sang we knew word for word. It was an eighties band and that was our hey day! I think everyone on of us was brought back to that big ass hair sprayed hair and the roll up jeans.....Not to mention being dry humped! Kind of glad those days are over even if they happen to be my "hey day". Once I win the lotto I will once again hit my "hey Day".

The nice thing is even though it is December we get to party in an outside bar. That is because it's not cold as shit like Chicago. Watching the news while writing this post.....Tomorrow is December 21 and it's going to be 82 here. Are you Chicago people ready to move????? I could use a little family here.

Alright now, what happens in the limo stays in the limo! Lets just say LOTS of singing at the top of our lungs. We are all "Rock Stars" after a few beers. SCARY!

The Limo party happened to fall on the Thursday night before school let out for Xmas break. Now any people (who drink) with children are going OHHHHHHH, right about now. You just don't party like a "Rock Star" on the night before one of these days. This is the day you have to have your game face on. There are school Christmas parties.....wait I mean Holiday parties you can't call them Xmas parties anyone. Bullshit I say...where are we anyway???? That's a whole nother can of worms I won't open. BTW, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. You also on these days have volunteered to do lots of crap for these parties. Aidan's party happens to fall at eight am Friday. Now I told the "Room Mom" that I would bring twizzlers and powdered white donut holes. I go to HEB to get the donut holes Wednesday.....they don't have any. I go on my lunch break Thursday to another HEB and they don't have them. Since this is a breakfast party I think they are just going to eat these suckers so I get 5 dozen of the Dolly Madison powdered donuts. While at dinner at the "Four Seasons" I get a voice mail from the room mom checking to make sure I got the powdered sugar donut holes because they are doing their major craft with these. My heart sinks.....holy crap, I just thought they were eating these!!!! I thought the room mom was just being picky about what kind. BUT why does she check with me the night before while I'm out and I can't do crap about it now! Except worry that is.

After the limo party I talk Hub's into going to Aidan's eight am party and going to a donut shop in the am, that is 7am to get the powdered donut holes. I won't say what I did to talk him into this craziness, let's just say it worked! So 6:45 comes really early after being out till 1:30. So I get the kids up and ready and I tell Aidan that I hate it but I have to miss the party because I have to work. I tell him Daddy will be there in my place. He is sad but is also happy Daddy will be there. I'm white lying just a little, I do have to work. I talked to my boss weeks ago, as soon as I found out about this party about coming in an hour late. What I wasn't expecting was a eight am holiday party. I get them off and crawl back in bed. My phone has rung three times. I finally decide whoever is calling is not giving up and I answer. It's Hubs from the donut shop. They don't even make powdered sugar donut holes there. What kind of donut shop doesn't make these???? Anyway I tell him to get what they got and explain what happened. SOOOOO glad he is the one that has to walk in with the wrong thing. I go back to bed!

Hub's gets home from the party and I'm getting ready for work. I ask him what the project was with these powdered donuts. He says they were making snowmen guys with them. I ask how did they turn out???? His response.....very simply.......NAKED! Thank God for small things...I missed this "God I want to crawl under a rock moment". I will pay for it at the next..."Holiday Party", I have to attend. They will remember we were the family that brought the donuts to make "NAKED" snowmen. Just another Mom of the year moment for me.

It's my little Xmas Elf! He looks like he had fun, even though his Mom was M.I.A. and he made a "NAKED" snowman!

At Cole's 2pm party I am A OK. I take a lunch break and I head over. Like a "Rock Star" I get the pizza's for the party. Not at all failing in my parent duties. At least I can hold my head high in one class.

They play some fun games and the party is great. I hold my head up high. That is until I leave. I hope that I do not run into anyone from Aidan's class. I'm hoping that some good eggnog will help these people forget the NAKED snowman incident. I get out safely and go back to work.

The first morning of Xmas break this is what I find in the driveway.......it's going to be a long two weeks! I wish that was a real elf that would do all the shit I don't want to do.

Friday night I picked up Mom....aka.....Debbie Downer from the airport. Should be some good blogging coming.

Thoughts of my day.....I may be going off the deep end, not once but twice this week I searched frantically for my phone only to find I was holding it!

I also walked around the house cussing about my missing camera that was hanging on my shoulder. WTF, is all I have to say! Getting OLD is for the birds.

CALGON?????? Take me away, for at least a hour!

I think I can, I think I can!

The week before the kids get out of school for X-mas break is always a cluster puck. Today I had to go to a forth grade field trip even though I had a million things to do. If ya miss one of these and your pretty close to stay at home Mom you never hear the end of it. What the child does not get is when it falls this close to X-mas it may mean one less X-mas gift. Less time for shopping for sure. As I am writing this I have an "Ahhh Haaa" moment of one less gift doesn't matter, it's the time you spend with your child that they will remember. See I'm really not that bad.







The field trip ended up not being that bad. Some are really for the birds. I really enjoyed myself on this one. It was cute to hear Cole yell.....hey Mom look at this. After since I drove with my friend Ashley and we were one exit away from the outlet mall we of course got an hour in a half of shopping in.




Last night I scrambled to get a X-mas card done. I ordered it at Cost Co since they can get them back to you by noon the next day. I got a call that they were running behind and it would be more like seven. That's alright, I'm a night owl and I can still get them out by the AM. I drive up there after dinner, which is not around the corner. Everything is far here in LaLa land. When I get there the line is ten people deep to pick up pictures. The girl gets to me and then tells me my order will not be ready till late afternoon tomorrow. I politely ask her why no one called to tell me. She says's...we are so behind that we could not call everyone. I then say.....ya know I drove 20 minutes up here because ya all called me to say they would be ready after seven. She looks at me as if she could give a rats ass and pretty much shrugs her shoulders. I get it, she could really give a shit that I'm put out, this is just how things are now. I could go off but it will get me no where with her. She will just be hanging with some friends after this telling them the story of the crazy mad lady that went off over pictures. So I leave, without a crazy scene. I call Hub's, at least that's who I think I dialed. I yell into the phone....I'm soooooo PUCKING mad right now! Then this voice who is not at all Hub's says........IS this Kerry????? I have that moment you have as a kid when your about to get in trouble. That hot feeling that comes over you with that sick feeling in your tummy. I called my Dad....aka....Grumps. Now my Dad is from the Old School where he thinks a girl should never use the F word. I guess that's why I like it so much, I am a sucker for trying to take things to the extreme that people don't want me to do. He says....who are you talking to this way, cause I know it ain't me. I tell him I meant to call Hub's! He is like....you talk to your husband that way???? I say.....well not all the time but I was really mad. He tells me he is surprised to hear me speak this way. That is like a dagger since I have snowed this Grump to the evil side of me most of my forty years. It's almost like the UNIVERSE gave me the big Puck you again! Maybe it's mad because I have talked so badly about it! I'm here to say I love the UNIVERSE and am thankful to be in it! Not damn it, let me win a lot of money!

While at the field trip today, I find out from the teacher that Cole and his friend have a project due this week. Now I thought this project was due in January when they come back from school. This is just what I need. My shit list is already too much to handle. I call the other Mom and she is just as put out as I am. What do we do?????....We put on those super girl capes and get this shitz done! They have to make and ethnic dish for the class to share. Now we make some kind of Oneida tribe soup. By the way it taste like garbage, but at least we have gotten it done. Why they put these "Mom you have a project" on us the week before X-mas break I do not get.






Anywho back to shopping at Cost Co. Since I am out and about trying to get my X-mas cards, I decide to go to the grocery store to waste time so these people will be fast asleep when I get home. Since the economy is bad I'm doing baked goods for all my friends. After I'm at the check out I realize I really could have gotten everyone a twenty dollar restaurant card and be done with it. When did bake goods become soooo expensive!






I get home and this time everyone is in bed, Thank God. I start to make some baked goods. Now a baker I'm not so this should be interesting. I can cook a delicious meal but when it comes to baking I have lost it. While at Pottery barn outlet today I find myself attracted to the great bundt pans. I hope these cakes turn out well! I'm of course doing laundry in between putting stuff in the oven. It's alright to refer to me as super girl. I don't mind at all.



Lessons of my day.....Take time to do the things with your child that you really don't want to be bothered with. They usually turn out better than you think.

Be careful of those Iphones. They can easily dial the wrong person. Not to mention I have done my share of butt dialing on them. Usually I'm yelling at my kids or I am singing obnoxiously at the top of my lungs in my car.

Last but not least .......I am not a baker.....step away from the oven! I did manage to make some pretzels with Rollo's and a nut on top. Thank God for small miracles.

Twas the week before X-mas vacation and I'm already stressed out.

I had a fun filled weekend. But damn it ended fast. Friday night we had our annual girls X-mas party. We exchange gifts, drink, and eat! I got these religious candles and by God if I don't have the one lit right now for lost souls. I'm hoping that God will here my prayer. Now what happens at the party stays at the party, which is really too bad. It would be some great blog material. Lets just say my friends house was the equivalent to a frat house party the next day....nuff said!

Saturday night we had a 40th birthday party. The guest of honor tied one on way too quick. We all had fun taking crazy pictures with these life size posters his BFF blew up. Can't blog about this either. I want to keep my friends. I wish I could post those pictures, they are way more entertaining than these people I live with ones.

Monday I still don't have a picture for my Christmas card. The boys and me head out about twenty minutes late for the good lighting. I can't do a thing about it I got to get these suckers out. Looking at the above picture you can see where this is going!

Out of all three of my boys Cole is my picture rock star. I always know I will get a good shot of him. Thinking I should have got him into modeling and paid for his college that way and a pair of boots of course. Do you think people would notice if he was the only one in the X-mas card??? All that runs through my head right now is.....Lets give them something to talk about!

Not bad, not great, but I tired and I'm clearly out of time. This whole photo shoot was pure hell to me. Next year I think I'm going to spring for the outside party to take these pictures.

We get home from the God awful photo shoot and I start to try to edit the pictures on Picnik. Picnik is the best photo editing program I have come across, mostly because it's for dummies. The problem is it is slow as shit on my computer. So here I am about to throw my slow ass computer across the room. Cole is doing his homework next to me. He always needs a lot of help but tonight he is on his own. I'm so in La La land trying to mess with pictures. I'm not paying attention to anything going on in the room. We have a large island in the kitchen that we all work at. I look down and Cole is laying on the floor flat on his tummy pulling himself around the island with his arms moaning as if he is dying. I really want to kick him when he drags by me but I ask him to get up and do his homework. He tells me he is an army guy and he has been shot. All that's going through my head is.....are you pucking kidding me??? What could have taken Cole twenty minutes now takes him at least an hour. Homework is for the birds....it's taking years off my life!

I get the little guys to bed they are finally sleeping in the own rooms. They have slept in Aidan's room since we have moved here. This has good and bad benefits for me. The good is they fall asleep right away. The bad is I now have another set of sheets to do each week not to mention when Hub's is snoring like a freight train I have no where to go but the sofa.

Now I go back down and Blake who swore up and down he was ready for his finals is down stairs studying. Hub's decides to test him. He is not as ready as we would like. Damn it UNIVERSE I want those kids who really want an "A "on their finals. We end up getting in a little fight. He tells me I think he is stupid. NO, Honey I'm the stupid one for believing you when you said you were ready. I don't say that of course but DAMN a girls work is never done around here. How can I be mad????? He is me for sure. Here I am scrambling to get out X-mas cards. I haven't bought the teachers gifts and I haven't gotten anything for the kids holiday parties that I volunteered to get. I also need to get my head out of my ass. I spend the next hour an half helping him and quizzing him and I think we got it! No one tells you all this crap when you say you want kids.

Today I went to Steinmart because it is closing so Hub's store can move in there. I have some clothes that are 75% off the already reduced price. I'm lazy so I don't like to try things on, mostly because dressing rooms make you look awful. I try them on since all sales are final. The only thing I can say about that is if I ever own my own clothing store, I will serve beer and wine when the lady walks in and I will have SOFT lighting in the dressing rooms. What's with the lights in dressing rooms???? Do these people want to sell anything???? No wonder they are closing! Hub's will be happy because he saved a lot of money today.

Thoughts of my day......at forty I know exactly what I want to do and what I want to master. I wish I had the time to take some photography, computer, and creative writing classes. My only thought is why did I not know this in my twenties???? Bullshit I say! If only we could turn back the clock.

I really do love my kids

Today I was tired all day. I know why now. I was getting sick. I have been surrounded by sick kids, sick, friends, and sick people for months. Flying through like a rock star and not missing a beat. I was starting to feel like superwomen. That's where I went terribly wrong. The universe had to knock my ass off that pedestal and bring me back down to the real world. I just hope it doesn't mess up my weekend. Lot's of parties, plus a photo shoot, and a basketball game. There is just no time to feel this way.

Anyway once in a while I feel I need to say I love my kids more than anything.....Really! I spend a lot of time telling bad stories about them. But lets face it the cute sweet stories are just not that funny. They are the greatest thing I ever did, even if they suck sometimes. There is not a day that goes by no matter what is going on that we don't all say we love each other. Toot, Toot, one for me even though I'm not mom of the year.

Anyway I think what would my life be without them???? I would imagine that I would have that half dead billionaire with the hottie on the side. I wouldn't feel the need to get botox because that mad face line between my eyes would not be there. Still afraid to do Botox so that line is still there. LOL, just did spell check and it did not recognize Botox....A sign maybe? I would have boots, boots, and more boots. My biggest worry would be where I would go out to eat and where I would by my next set of boots. I would go for massages and pedicures every week. My hair would be full and thick just like it was in my younger years. This is because I wouldn't be pulling it out during homework hour. I would be hot, sexy and well dressed. These A size boobs I grew on my back would be gone and I wouldn't even know what a muffin top meant. Because I would have time for me and to take care of me. Now that all just sounds awful doesn't it????? Thank God for these people.

Highlights of my day..... I didn't hit that skunk in the road! I laughed my ass off when my seven year old walked up to Hub's and asked if he was drinking a Mexican Martini. Oh, how we have messed these people up!