When you have your first child you have a newborn for one month. Your first one you are in awe of what you created. You can't believe this perfect person came from you. You don't even think you are pretty enough to create this perfect child with perfect skin so pretty. I would look at him and be taken taken back by how beautiful he was. I remember one time when he was drinking his bottle and looked up me and scrunched his face. It was so cute I thought to myself I hope I never forget this moment. And I haven't.
You have another one and you can't believe you love them as much as the first one. But you are tired. You don't go through the emotions you did with first one. And honesty you only have a new born for a month. It's a shame. Cole was honestly a perfect child. Fat as hell and I loved him so much.
Then there is number three, unplanned and way too close to number two....So you are not only tired but you have three kids not in school yet. Number two gets left behind in a way. So you are honestly a shit show at this point. Not taking in anything. You are working stressed and not knowing how you will get through the day. You don't really remember anything about the third one in these newborn days! except he wanted NO ONE but you! EVER! UGHHHH really last one...Who has time for that! Thank God I took pictures! This is my story...Maybe other moms are better. If Number three came first there would be no others. In my case.
But now that I'm through that and some random facebook friend posted the newborn stage is one month I feel like an asshole. I should have had him at 50.....he would be much better off. I would have raised better kids at 50!
NEXT UP TODDLER YEARS
You have two short years in this stage. Think about that TWO years. When your in that is goes sooo slow. You are mess your kids are mess. You look like mess. You don't even care. You get a Mom haircut. Wear dumpy clothes. Let your self go. Well not everyone. This is actually my story. Your Mother and anyone older tells you miss these years. You can't even believe them because the days are so long and your so tired, Trying to keep them alive and run behind them. You are the most unattractive version of yourself in these years. You give up. You can't drink because hangovers suck with toddlers. You look at your older friends in awe cause your not sure you will make through these short two years. What I would give up to take those years back. My kids were the most attractive in those years. I look back at pictures and wish I could kiss those faces again. I've always said we should age in reverse. We would be much better versions of ourselves.
NEXT UP PRESCHOOL YEARS
We finally get a break...unless you have two younger ones. Preschool years are also two short years. These are the years you meet the other parents with preschool kids. These are the years you start to compare yourself to other parents. You run into the perfect ones that make you feel terrible about yourself. The hot one that you think I used to be cute what happened???? The helicopter one that makes you think you don't do enough. This is the start of the next several years of a mind fuck that you don't even understand until you are older and don't care.....Or if it's your last one and you stop and become an absent mom. Sort of. You show up but you are checked out.
THEN YOU HAVE A CHILD FOR FIVE SHORT YEARS
They enter elementary school. Another mind fuck honesty. If I can be honest. We as parents want the smartest best kid, best dressed, nicest, and all around star! We want all gold stars. We want them for us too. Showing up at every party, bringing the best snacks! Helping the teachers bending over backwards to please and look good in front of other parents.....Never missing the opportunity to go on field trip. Well this happens for the first and second by the third we MISSING IN ACTION! Because we are tired. But if I think back five years is nothing in the big picture, Wish I took those years in more, hopefully some young overachiever parent will read this and enjoy these years more than I did. Just take it in an enjoy your kids. Don't compare yourself to others. It only makes you feel bad. And these years go fast....as the old people say. Not me of course...young forever.
NEXT UP PRETEEN
These years for me were again a mind fuck. Sorry Dad if your reading this. My Dad hates when ladies cuss...Again where did I come from??? I still felt immature in these years. I imagined these years back to my preteens. BUT now we have social media. So with my first social media was just coming out. So I had little issues with it. My last two MY GOD......THEY WERE INAPPROPRIATE AND SO WERE THEIR FRIENDS! And let me tell you, you want to bury your head in the sand. And at first you think it's the bad kids.....UMMMM NOOOO it's a lot of them. Good ones too. If I had social media at this age my Dad probably would have disowned me. These kids are way to young for this kind of stuff. Honestly I'm as guilty as the next for allowing my kids to get on before they are mature enough to handle it...NOT EVEN SURE IF I'M MATURE ENOUGH FOR IT! But brace yourself for these years. It's no fun. Kids are mean at this age. Cole my middle child who has always been nice to everyone got bullied for his size in middle school. But let me tell you he grew taller than some of those bullies and always stayed a nice sweet kid.....UMMM besides second year of HS......WE will let that go for good behavior. His second year of high school he had me ready to bury my head in sand with a white flag. I hog tied him and set him straight. From there on out I have been beyond proud of this kid.
NEXT UP TEENAGE YEARS
WHAT THE FUCK FIVE SHORT YEARS BUT WHAT THE FUCK. Everything you have ever taught them is out the door. When it's happening you are still a little clueless. And we are shocked. Expecting our kids to be better versions of ourselves at this age. Not so much they are going to give us a run for the money...and think we are the dumbest people ever. With your first for sure you are CLUELESS. The stories they will you tell you later will blow your mind. The stuff they been through ugh ...you can remember judging the ones before you thinking that's never going tp happen to me. UGH let me tell about teenage years, Most will drink not all. I caught all my kids drinking. Not sure why I didn't think it wouldn't happen..I did it. Dumb mom thinking I raised mine better. Not so much. SEX yep prepare yourself. Like I said not ALL but a lot do that. WISH I WAS THE NOT THE AT ALL! But you have to talk to them about this because 80 percent will have sex....yes I researched. Even if we preach and preach about no sex. Drugs you have to talk them about this. The biggest thing that scared me when I asked my kids about about drugs in HS is they ALL said they were offered drugs in HS. Thought my kids would be scared of it because I HAVE PREACHED AND PREACHED ABOUT DRUGS FROM A SUPER YOUNG AGE! Yep out the door two out of three have done pot. Don't judge me, I have already judged myself way more than you can. Sad but drug test were the norm in my house. It's ok to drug test even the best kids, Good kids mess up. I always told my kids me drug testing you is your way out. You call tell your friends my crazy mom drug test me so I can't do drugs. It's your way out of peer pressure. Did it work??? One out of three. Again don't judge I'm way harder on myself than anyone else can be. Don't ever think not my kid. It will bite you in the ass a lot. But at this age you as a mom get your groove back a little, you start to care about your yourself again. You get rid of the mom haircut and start dressing like a real human again. So there is something positive about these shitty years, you find our inter self again. You no longer give -up on yourself. Mid life crisis maybe? probably. We look at our faces with all the mommy mad lines and try a little botox. At least for me.
NEXT UP THEY ARE GONE
So now your in limbo. A strange place to be. Thinking about all the mistakes you made as a parent. And there is more than I care to talk about. Wishing for a redo because you are older and wiser. I was in my twenties with my first, still a kid myself. I wish I was older and wiser with all of them. I would take in more moments, and not compare myself to other parents and kids so much. I would focus on my kids strengths and their talents. Not get caught up in the comparison game we all get caught in. Think about what I said in all these stages in life. They are so short enjoy them...Don't regret these years. The hardest thing in my lifetime is dropping a kid at college hoping you did your job good! Missing every moment you had with this kid, wishing the years did not pass by so fast. Young moms reading this take it from me it goes faster than you can ever imagine. You will say one day that old asses knew what they was talking about. Take every moment in because you can't get those moments back. Don't compare yourself to others because what works for your family is most important. Don't encourage your kids to do what you think is best....Let them find what they think is best. Because a lot of times your idea is different. This is a real struggle for me...learn from my mistakes. I wish only happiness and good health for my kids at this point.
1 comment:
Love your attitude!
Post a Comment