Lordy, Lordy, looks who's 40!

Lordy, Lordy, looks who's 40. This has been in my head for the last ten years! Literally. This is a picture of me at 40. I thought I was fat and looked old! It's my theory that I think we should age in reverse. Totally stealing that theory from the Benjamin button movie. I didn't have a pinch of fat, and I looked young. I didn't get it until I actually aged. Now I know what fat and old looks like. Kind of I'm not that fat...but fatter then at 40! My mom always told me if you don't like a picture of yourself now you will love it in ten years. She was right. And that was yesterday. It's Aidan's Aka Pig pens bday tonight. I posted pics of him through the years. It's been a sad day for me. Where did the years go....LOL I'm making this all about me and my issues! Get over myself right. At least I own it! Happy we have made it through the shitty years with almost no issues. Knock on wood...seriously. I don't want to count my chickens till they all hatch. Still have a year and a half to go with him. But he was my hardest in elementary school. Riddled with anxiety afraid of everything. But HS has been a breeze compared to his brothers. He's driven and such a hard worker. I'm so proud of him.

I'll never forget a few things my Mother said over the years. She told me before you know it your kids are grown and you are scratching your head where the years went. Check I'm there! Scratching is an understatement! My mother said and she may kill me that the key to happy marriage is bitting your tongue, putting out regularly,  and complement them a lot. Because us girls get the high maintenance pinned on our heads. Not the case though. Men are way more needy! She said men are simple they need food, sex, and compliments. Honestly  We get a bad wrap. Men are way more high maintenance. How many of you have a husband who thinks he's dying when he's sick. When we are sick we are driving kids to school and doing laundry. Right???? My Father said something that sticks in my head too. He said there will come a day when you look in mirror and don't recognize yourself. You will still feel young and realize your body is aging. I see that now.. No fun!

So fifty nifty, nifty fifty comes to mind.....Bullshit. Fifty fuck that... fifty how the fuck? Fifty Bullshit. Fifty fucking sucks. Fifty is great if you are Jennifer Lopez. My Dad is going to mad? He hates when I cuss... Old school I guess. I like it. But it ain't me. I love to cuss....not sure where I came from. My catholic school upbringing failed. I love God but I love to cuss. Makes me feel better. I will write something nice about my about to be 19 year Cole soon tomorrow So June is a good month for hubs. Hard to say. He turns 19 tomorrow. My Dad text me on my 50th bday.."happy 50th that's hard to say" But he was a child like 20 when he had me. He was 47 when I married. So young. Younger than me now! I love that my kids have so many great times with my parents over the years. They are my happiest memories. And my husbands mom has been there through so many good times too. His Dad got cheated and passed away young. But was there to see all my kids for a while. Also there to get me through the my first born.....oh how I cherish that. He was my rock that day. Miss that man all the time. He was one of a kind. Taught me a ton.

Anyway.... On my soapbox tonight. Life is hard, harder for some more than others. The older we get the harder it is. I was super naive in my younger years...probably longer than I should have been. The older we get we become scared from life. Disappointed in things and people. Some smart person once told me hold on to your family because they are the people who have your back no matter what. The good bad and the evil and they love you no matter what. So true, You find very few friends along the way that are just as good as your family that you can be honest and true with. I'm super blessed to have found those people in my life. And I'm really blessed I have have the best sister in the world, she will be forever my best friend.