50 years five million beers

50 years five million beers! Oh the things I have seen and done. Looks like I made it! At least to 50, which seemed so impossible and so old at age 20. But honestly it got here sooner than I thought it would. Wishing it hadn't gone so fast. Wishing for a do over. Thinking about it I don't feel 50 most days. Not that I know what it's supposed to feel like. I'm 50 for the first and last day of my life. I remember for some reason when my kids were born I calculated what their age would be when I was 50. I remember being upset that I would still have a kid in HS at age 50. Maybe because at that age 50 was OLD AS HELL! Maybe because my parents were in their 30's when I graduated HS! And I thought they were old at that time. But today I'm just happy to be celebrating my 50th Bday.

So today on my 50th I was dreaming the grim reaper was after me right before I woke up....NO JOKE. He was not only after me but my Dad, Mom, and Brother. We were at a Halloween party and people were dropping like flies. I kept running from him....hoping he wasn't getting my family. Which all oddly took place at my Grandparents house. In my dream I had no husband or kids....No clue what the hell that dream was about! I woke up feeling sad kinda of teary eyed. Again not any clue why. MAYBE because I'm 50! I don't love it! If I can be honest I'd like to be 27 again. I feel It's unfair how fast the years went. I want to go back to when my kids were babies. Those were my favorite years of my life so far. I'd hug them tight and start over. Do have regrets ....ummm yes a ton. But I'm thankful for these 50 years and everything they have come with.

I sit here tonight with an island full a fabulous gifts, from my best friends and family members. Everyone put so much thought into what I love and hit the nail on head. I'm so thankful for all these people in my life. Went to a great dinner and lunch with my friends. They make me feel special. I couldn't ask for a better 50 years! Unless you really want a list...LOL! I could ask for a few changes! I wish people I have lost over the years were still here. I wish people I have seen struggle didn't have those struggles. I wish my face wasn't melting like candle! If I had a Hollywood makeover I'd feel better. Two of my kids no longer live here. Wish we were all still here and I could freeze time. Crazy to think about.

At 50 I feel different....

I'm no longer worried who likes me....not everyone likes me and that's ok. I don't like everyone either so I shouldn't expect everyone to like me. I don't like myself all the time.  Not everyone who enjoys an apple enjoys an orange....and that's ok! I'm an orange if you care.

I'm no longer afraid to have my own opinion. I don't have to agree with people and they don't have to agree with me....We can still be friends!

I know myself.....Kinda of....The good, bad , and the evil and I own it, SOMETIMES....LOL I still like to lie to myself. My sister sets me straight a lot.

I can laugh at myself. If I have food in my teeth, if I fart, or snort it's funny!

I'm more at peace with my mistakes and tooting my horn if I do something great.

I don't give a flying F what you think of me or my kids anymore....this was a struggle for years for me. We are who we are, not perfect but we work for us. That's all that counts.

I embrace my imperfections. I'm never going to weight 110 even though I swore I would the last ten years. I'm slowly coming to terms with that. Kind of

I'm not afraid of flying as much as I used to be. I take drugs now to fly!

I take life way less serious because we are all doing the best we can.

I can totally use the excuse "I'm set in my ways"! YEP I'M AT THAT AGE NOW!

I have such a greater appreciation for life and my family and friends. They are the best part of my life.

I can laugh at others even in their face! Because I'm old!

I don't sweat the small stuff...Or I lie to myself about this

I have a good reason for forgetting things or not being able to see small print!

People expect you to be a bad dancer, a bad singer, and to go home early.

You can give good old people advise, forgive people because it doesn't really matter, and let go because you know life is short!

So to cap things off I'm 50....hard to say that. But I'm so thankful for everything. I love my family and my friends. My husband and I have been blessed with good kids, family, and friends, I probably have run on sentences and grammar mistakes in this post...But I can't see and I'm old. Cheers to five million more beers....And hopefully granddaughters some day! HAPPY BDAY TO ME!

Oh yes final note I have a belly...what that means to me is I've enjoyed beers, pizza, and burgers. In my perfect life it wouldn't put fat on my belly...But I'm living large! And oh yes, at 50 you realize a ton of people talk shit about you.....and that's ok because you to talk shit about people. Lets be honest! And how sad it would be if we were not important enough to talk shit about. We are always being judged but honestly we are are always judging too. So we should all just get over ourselves and try and support each other.....easier said then done. My next 50 years I will try and get over myself and stop judging and talking shit. Amen