Cole has been asking for a phone since Blake got one three years ago. I have held him off as long as I could. I have endured many ridiculous afternoons of listening to him complain that everyone has one except him. I tried to tell him that I have lots of friends that have things I want that I don't have. Like botox for example. Blake got his phone when he started the fifth grade. Of course Cole remembers the exact day Blake got his. Can't remember where his shoes are or what his homework is, but this he remembers. Since Cole is now in fifth grade I really can't put it off anymore. I did use this getting a phone to my advantage. I made him earn it. Well sorta. He had to be good and not fight with his brother for seven days. He had to listen to everything I said with NO complaining too. We have been trying this since June. Kid could just not go seven days to save his life. I got so sick of listening to him whine about this phone crap. My lazy ass parenting skills went into place. I made him go one day so he would shut the front door. It still took a few days to have a good one. He finally got it on Saturday. Now being good on Friday shouldn't have even counted since he was in school most of the day and had to go to bed early for football. Like I said before I got tired of listening to him so laziness set in. I know I'm going to pay for this someday.
Hub's gets home with his phone and he is really excited. It was nice to see him so happy. We had some friends over that day. He is busy asking everyone for their phone numbers to program them in. Everyone except me that is. This kind of hurts my feeling so I decide to mess with him. First I call his phone and I breath really heavy into it. While I'm doing this and he is asking who this is. I'm holding back belly laughter. I hang up and come around the corner to hear him look at his friends and say......That was weird someone was breathing in the phone. I'm trying my best to keep a straight face. I run upstairs and call him again. This time in my best ever monster voice I say.....I'm coming to get you followed by an evil laugh. He says...Who is this??? I hang up the phone. Once again he is telling his friends what is happening. He tells me what happens and says he thinks it is Blake. Now Blake is MIA as he is on most weekends. I tell him how can it be Blake. He doesn't even know you have a phone so he can't have your number. His eyes get a little deer in the headlights look in them. Next I text him......I'm going to get you! Then I text him...I can see you. I text him those smiley face icons with their eyes crossed out. He is starting to freak out just a bit. He text back...What's up? I text back a skeleton icon. I text again...I can see you. He text...Hello. I text...I'm going to bury you in the yard with little smiley icons screaming. He text....who are you? I text....The boogie man with a booooo and a ghost icon. He text.....How do you know how I am? I come down and he is telling me the boogie man is texting him. I act scared for him. I run around the corner belly laughing and text him...Don't pick up your phone because I will be there. Then I text him...Don't ride your bike in the woods because I'm waiting for you. He text back.....Ok...I don't have a bike. Which is BS by the way. I then text....I'm coming for you!....You better be able to run fast. He text...I can't run fast can we do this another day? I text back.....Sleep with one eye open. He text back.....Why and where are you? I text back...in your bedroom. I text back meet me in the office. Now me being the queen of Halloween has a drawer full of costumes. I get a big black wig with a skeleton mask on. I'm laughing so hard I might have peed my pants a little. He goes in our office with his friends. This faces the front of our house and has a huge window. I run out the back door around to front of the house. I'm going to knock on the window in this get up. I'm laughing so hard at this point. I love a good prank. Him and his friends are in the office. I go to the window in my black wig and mask. The damn wig is getting in my eyes and making them tear. I still can't stop laughing. I knock on the window and scare the bejesus out of him. As I am out there my friend Ashley pulls up. She looks at me and says....What the hell Kerry! I had to then tell Cole it was me the whole time. I didn't want to be up all night while he feared the boogie man. I'm lazy remember.
So the kids went back to school last Monday, as I write this I can almost hear the ark angels in the distance. Today was our second Monday of thank God school has started. I wake up and get the two little ones up. They are busy fighting over over God knows what! I try to make them something to eat. They are both too busy fighting. They both say they don't want to eat. Lazy parenting kicks in and I say....Whatever then don't eat! They get picked up by a neighbor so I can get the God awful teenager up and out. They wait in the office for him to pull up. I go upstairs to get the teenager in the shower. When I come down the two little ones are punching each other and fighting over who is the lookout for their ride. Oh my God, I can't wait to go back to bed! Their ride comes and I feel this inter peace inside me. The teenager is out of shower and getting ready to go. I go lay down in his Vegas style room spooning my best ever dog. He walks in and says he can't find his other gym shoe. I tell him the dog probably carried it somewhere so look around. He comes in again and says...I can't find it anywhere. I tell him to wear a different set of shoes. The house is now silent and I dose off into one of those hard sleeps, the kind where your dreaming you are someone totally different. I'm about an hour into my deep vampire boyfriend sleep when my cell phone rings. It's Hub's rudely interrupting my beauty sleep. He yells in the phone...I have had the worst morning ever. He then tells me the school nurse called him to tell him Aidan has a headache and wants to come home. I list his number first on school things for a reason. I don't want my beauty sleep to be interrupted. He then tells me he had to take Blake to school because he missed the bus over the missing shoe. He tells me he told the school nurse if Aidan didn't have a fever or was not throwing up he was staying. I say...alright you got it now I'm going back to bed.
So I pick up the little guys from school. Aidan tells me he was in the nurses office in the am. I ask why???? He says...I had a headache and they gave me breakfast. I say...I offered you breakfast and you wouldn't eat it. He says don't worry Mom...I just told her we woke up late and we didn't have time for breakfast! I say...that is lie, I offered you it but you were too busy fighting with your brother. He says...I know but I didn't want to look bad in front of her. Alright then...my kids throws me under the bus instead. Bullshit I say! I need a vacation from these people I live with!
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