Navy Pier

Every year for as long as I can remember we take the train down to Navy Pier. Our party has grown over the years. Me personally would rather drive. Since I am an over thinker the train makes me nervous. I always fear some crazy crash. The kids love the train so we take the train. We have a big group this year. Michael came in earlier than expected. It's my five, My parents, my brother, Twisty and the Golden jerk, my aunt and uncle, my cousin and her kid, and my other cousin.

So we get on the train. Ella...aka..the Golden jerk sits with my cousins son Colton...aka...Cutey boy. The two of them are so funny together they argue in their cute voices as if they are a married couple. Me I'm stuck sitting next to this girl in her twenties. She's looks a little bit like a hippie. A hip hippie. Pretty blond hair in a braid. Interesting outfit. She is writing in this journal the whole time. I act like I am looking out the window while I read her journal. She is writing about sleeping in till 11 and having crazy sex with a guy who she is not sure really likes her. I may just be jealous. At one point she looks over at me. I'm sure she knows I'm reading her journal and not really looking out the window. I look away and start to look at all the other interesting characters on the train. There is an African American lady that has one of the strangest moles I have ever seen growing out of her nose. It's on the top of her nose and it is long, skinny, and stands straight up. I can't stop looking at it. I wonder why she doesn't have it removed. She doesn't look poor, she is carrying an expensive purse and is nicely dressed.

We get off the train and head for the water taxi. The water taxi is shut down because we have had so much rain the last few days. Unlike Texas. We have to split up in cabs. Kind of sucks, I always look forward to taking the water taxi. Cabs make me over think too. I always wonder who has been in this cab before me. I bet cab drivers see some crazy ass shit. I'd like to a cab driver for about a week. I feel it would be a most interesting experience.

We get to Navy Pier and it is breathtaking as it always is. Chi Town is such a beautiful and clean city. Even though Navy Pier is over priced it is so worth spending the day there.

If I wasn't so lazy I would post the pics of all of us over the years here at Navy Pier. The groups had split up into three different taxi's to get here. We all came from the same spot but we all got charged different. My Dad...aka...Grump tries to get a rise out of my aunt and uncle and tells them he paid way less for his cab. It is funny to watch. He finally tells them what he really paid.

Every year we go to Bubba Gumps for lunch. The service here is amazing. Everyone is so nice. The thing that cracks my ass up is Forest Gumps favorite drink is a Dr. Pepper. They don't serve it here. They are a Pepsi product place.

Grumps and Mom...aka...who really doesn't like to called Debbie Downer anymore love the fact that the teenager looks forward to this meal every year. This is Blake's favorite place to go. He has gotten the coconut shrimp for as long as I can remember. The waiter here quizzes us on Forest Gump facts. We breeze through this with flying colors. I have seen that movie so many times that I think I could repeat every word. I often think when my kids are fighting and the laundry is constantly piling up and the house is mess....RUN FOREST RUN!

We finish lunch and we are off to empty our pockets at Navy Pier.

Like I said before...what a beautiful city. Proud to say I am from here.

Once again Grumps is taken in by the Golden jerks charm. He sees no one but her. Just wait she too will piss him off some day and his beer googles will be removed. Don't worry Grumps, I will be waiting in the wings. We will pretend like this never happened.

The Golden jerk sits on the shoulders I FIRST occupied. So I may be to big to be up there right now, it still makes me mad! Doesn't she get this is my Grump????? Who is she to steal my thunder! Oh yes, she is that super cute granddaughter he always wanted. At least Mom..aka...Positive Patty still loves me.

The boys love to ride the "sea dog" every year. That is everyone except Aidan. Aidan is the biggest boat lover of all my kids. He looks at boats for hours on line. Since he is afraid of everything he doesn't want to go. Like I have said before, I hope I can break him of this. I feel like he misses out on some really fun things.

This picture kind of breaks my heart. Aidan standing there watching the boat pull away! I wish I could have talked him into going. I know he would have had fun. Earlier in the week he was at six flags. My brother took him on the demon. Now the Demon is way scarier than this boat ride. My brother did say they got on the Demon. At first the Demon goes through this really dark scary tunnel. He looks over at Aidan who has big tears streaming down his face. Aidan who is shaking like a leaf looks over at Joe and says....I CAN'T DO THIS, I CAN'T DO THIS. Then next thing Joe sees is Aidan with his hands above his head yelling WOOOOO WHOOOOOO! I know he would have done the same thing on this boat if only he had tried.

The people watching is always great here. At first I thought this was a wig. I walk a little closer to check this guy out. Not a wig. I totally act as if I'm taking a picture of the water when I snap this one. I wonder what kind of insects might take up space in that that thing. You think he gets home at night and has to clean that thing up???? I could just see him. Oh damn, is that a lizard I just pulled out. Then he will look farther and realize a bird has laid eggs in there. He will wonder what to do with those eggs. Should he get rid of them or let them hatch in his nest????

Kelly...aka...Twisted sister's daughter has a fall in the beer garden of all places. For years she has judged me on my super fine parenting skills. All I can think is....not as easy as at looks..right!

When I look at this picture that song...."Here I go again on my own" comes to mind.

Alright so she is cute...I will give her that much.

Everyone who reads this knows good and well Twisty and I have a bit of sibling rivalry. I really don't like to throw her a bone. She was always the better one of this gruesome twosome. I dragged her around to parties when I was supposed to be "babysitting". I exposed her to bad stuff way too young. She always got better grades....even if it came easy to her. I like to think I did her favor. For I showed her what not to do to piss your parents off. I definitely taught her what not to do to get caught. Let's just say she learned from my mistakes. I like to think since I did everything first I formed into the perfect one. Anyway back to throwing her a bone. As much as it feels like I'm chewing on glass right now, I have to say I am impressed with what a great parent she is. That's it enough said! I can just see her smiling as she reads this! It makes me puke in my mouth just a bit.

As we are walking through the Navy Pier inside building. I come across this beautiful piece of stained glass art. I ask Aidan to pose in front of it. At first he looks at me and wrinkles up his nose. He says....do you know those women are half naked???? I say yes, I am aware of that.....Now get your happy ass in front of it and pose for this picture! This is going to be one for a future wedding video.

I buy an over priced 50 dollar pass for the kids to ride all the rides here. We have such a great time. These I believe will be the memories that my children will tell to their children someday. So what if I'm broke living in a trailer, it will be all worth it for me! Just kidding Universe...I see myself as a billionaire TOMORROW!

So since I am two weeks behind on this blog. We are actually back in Texas. We just got back from a trip to Marble Falls. I will be blogging about that later I think. As I was trying to catch up on this blogging bullshit. I heard some drama coming from upstairs. Cole runs down and says, Aidan took a pee pee on his carpet to make him mad. All I can think is ........I can't believe this is what my life has become. I call them both down. I ask Aidan if he pee peed on Cole's carpet. He of course says...NO. Since they both are still fooled by something as brilliant as secret cameras. I tell Aidan I'm going to my room to check the secret cameras. He stops me. He says......Wait I can explain. Oh this should be good! He tells me Cole made him mad so he needed to do something to make him mad! All I can think is.....Cole can really give a shit if you peed on his carpet, it is me you have pissed off now. I'm am thinking "seriously" in my head! I ask Aidan how much did you pee on his carpet???? He says a drop. Cole says....most of what he had in there! I tell Aidan to get his ass upstairs and show me where you peed. When he shows me I'm glad to see it is on Cole's bathroom rug that I can wash instead of the carpet that the smell would never come up. But really?????? Who raised these kids????? It couldn't have been me. They are doing me in! So I ground Aidan and go back to blogging. I stop for a pee break myself. As I am throwing the toilet paper in I see a scorpion floating in the toilet. Oh this is not the first time this has happened. Thank God the universe half way likes me, two minutes before and that sucker would have fallen on my ???????. This drought is bringing those fuckers in, in full force. As I finish this blog I realize my kids that have no concept of money have just rented a movie we own. Calgon?????? All I can say is.....This Mama is counting down the days till school starts. Once again my grammar is God awful, so is my spelling, throw me a bone for I live with "These people".

ZOO

The last week we were in Chicago we were trying to pack in as much as possible. We headed out to the Brookfield zoo. My friend Nat gave me some free passes! Big shout out to Nat. Just added that saved hundred to my boots fund. It was another high humidity kind of day. The kind of day that sucks the life right out of you. Unless your a kid of course.

Dad...aka....The Grump is still blinded by Ella...aka...the Golden Jerks charm. She is as Grumpy as ever today. Usually Grumps has no tolerance for grumpy children. For some reason with her he turns a blind eye. At one point when is blind eye is turned I swear she turns to me and whispers......See Kerry this is how it is done! I think she just might of stuck her tongue out at me and waved her hands above her head. At least this is how imagined it. I just quietly think to myself he will get your number sooner or later. Then I will take over the number one spot!

There's Blake....aka...The teenager! He has that ever so pleasant teenage look on his face. He couldn't look anymore miserable if he tried. I'd like to wipe that crap look right off his face as my Grumps used to say. It's funny the older you get you finally get all those adult sayings that used to piss you off. Ya know the ones you swore you would never use on your children. Talk about chewing on a piece of glass.

Cole....aka...drama is having a great time. He really does enjoy his time with family. I wonder how much longer we have till he crosses over to the dark side. What I love about this kid is he is always concerned about everybody. He helps a lot with Ella. He shares with everyone except Aidan. He is very loyal. He is by far the most passionate of these people I live with. I look forward to watching him grow into a man. I know he is going to be a great husband and Father some day. BTW, I already have his wife picked out. A mother knows best...just sayin!

There's that nasty teenager again! Who is this kid anyway???? I didn't raise him to look at me as if I was a three headed monster breathing fire. I want my sweet little boy back. This is the same kid that used to get an ear to ear grin on his face when I walked in the room. He was the one that while in pre-school would stand at the door waiting for me because he missed me so much. He used to follow me around as if I was the greatest thing ever. For all you young folk out there, enjoy those days. They grow up way too fast, as annoying as they can be. Once again saying one of those most annoying adult sayings I swore I never would.

So were kind of that....hey look at me kind of family! We see something like this and we use at as a great picture opportunity.

Twisty has always had a thing for butts and poop. Of course her "hey look at me picture" is in the tigers ass.

Well there is not a whole lot I can say about this one! There is a reason we call Joe LOST. I almost feel sorry for him growing up under Twisty and me. The nice thing is we have taught him that women are crazy. When he finds "the one" he will probably know exactly how to handle her. He can thank Twisty and me for that.

So here is Aidan in his "hey look at me picture". He is by far my most cautious child. He over thinks everything and is scared of a lot of things. I feel bad for him because he misses out on lots because of his fears. When you fear things it can almost be like a prison. I try like hell to break him of this. Having two older brothers does not help this. They know his weakness and they play on it often. They once told him that he would be taken away from the giant vultures that seem to come around a lot where we live. Poor kid wouldn't go out with a shirt on the first year we moved to Austin. For he feared the vulture would grab his shirt and fly him away. He scratched his back once and Blake told him his lung was hanging out! He listens to everything even when you think he is not. He fears that the world is going to end in 2012.

I can't believe that the teenager got in on our "hey look at me pictures". Of course he had to out do us all by climbing up on the thing. This is just him telling us he is cooler than we are.

Here is the all time "hey look at me photo". See Ella..aka..golden jerk trying to get in on the action. Boy she's going to be in big trouble growing up with us.

There comes a day when your baby is eye to eye with you. For me this day came faster than most since I'm short as shit. It's a strange feeling, it just doesn't seem right. I guess you just always picture your babies little. I have always had a close bond with Blake. I had him when I was just 27. I thought I was old as shit back then. Now I realize I still a baby myself. I have to wonder when was the last time I carried him on my hip or gave him a bath. I don't remember the last time I was able to carry him. Today I picked him up from a friends house. We were in the car and he told me a little bit about some girl drama going on. He has liked the same girl since he started middle school. She likes his friend. I try to tell him to like someone else. He looks over at me and tells me if he liked someone else he would not tell me. My heart kind of broke just a little bit at that moment. What he doesn't get at this age is I was a kid once with all the same drama. I get it and could probably give him some good advise.

Loved my time in Chicago with all the family. Wouldn't change a thing. We have so many great memories once again. I'm so happy that my Mom will be retiring soon and she can spend a lot more time in Austin with us, even if she is a bit of a Debbie Downer.

Here is Twisty once again being a bit Twisty. She is trying to take my Blake down this Twisty path with her. I think they were trying to imitate monkeys with this "hey look at me picture".

Alright so these monkey's got my attention for longer than I care to admit. They were memorizing for sure. They seemed to be in love with each other and I couldn't take my eyes off of them. They seemed so human, I could have watched them all day. They hugged, they pushed each other away, they stroked each other, and I think the one might of went down on the other.

After I tore myself away from the monkey's I find my Mom bored off her ass waiting for me.

See people I may just be doing something right. Look at how cute this picture is of my boys. They might just like each other. This for me is one of those mommy happy moments, which are few and far between.

We are looking for ice cream but no one seems to be working the ice cream stands. Except a bird! Maybe it is because most smart people are in their air conditioned houses while we are out in the God awful humidity.

We find ice cream and that teenager that seems to have no emotions comes running with fire in his eyes. Twisty refers to him as Leonardo in "What's eating Gilbert Grape" ya know the retard. Maybe this is why he shuts us out. Just a thought.

This is one of my favorite pictures! I bought the kids twenty five dollars worth of ice cream....a sin I know. Cole is the only one who offers anyone a bite. Here he is spoon feeding The Grump a bite.

Tonight I am back in Austin. Behind on my blog which is why it is still Chicago. I have settled back in to my shit TV. I watched the bachelor pad tonight. So many "barf" moments on that show. barfing over the I love you more than peanut butter cookies statement. Who loves anyone over peanut butter cookies???? Barfing over the fact that someone would have sex with the camera's rolling. All I can think is...are these people's parent's watching and are they proud???? What is wrong with people?????

Santa's village

Santa's village, this is a place I went to when I was a kid. Twisty got a groupon for some half price tickets. I haven't been there since I was a kid. Since then it closed for awhile and recently re-opened. I'm expecting a spectacular amusement park. For this is how I remembered it as a child. It is amazing how things seen so much bigger and beautiful when you are kid. So we get there and it is much smaller than I remembered. I remember bringing a picnic lunch and eating by water with a giant ferris wheel. The ferris wheel is gone and so is the water.

The kids love it here. We went on a super humid day so most smart people are at home in their air conditioned houses. This for us means no lines for anything.

I had the most fun watching Ella...aka.....the golden jerk ride the rides. Look at that huge smile! Enjoy it while your young, Golden Jerk. Some day you will grow up and realize this magnificate ride that looks so huge is just not that awesome. Shit I kind of sound like a Debbie....Whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaa.

We pay a dollar for some peanut butter sticks with bird seed on them to feed the birds. Truth be told we did this to get out of the humidity for a while.

This is me re living my childhood as Twisty and me seem to try and do a lot on this trip.

I like big butts and I can not lie! Whenever you are having a fat day go to your local amusment park. There is always someone there to make you think....it could be worst.

Here is Twisty trying to re live her childhood. She likes to be the center of attention....sad I know!

I like big butts and I can not lie! I really like big butts with tramp stamps.

So we go on the most adult ride there. It looks like a hot air balloon. We ask if we could all sit together. There are five of us. The guy says four to a ride. Cole says...I don't want my Mom to be alone so I will ride with her. Love that he is a child that thinks of someone besides himself. This kid is totally going to be a heart breaker some day!

Twisty is in the next car over with the rest of the crew. So we start up and all the sudden I feel dizzy and sick. I look over at Twisty who looks just as horrified as me. I don't know if I should focus on one thing or close my eyes. They are running this ride extra long since there is no one else in line. I think to myself it will really be embarrassing to puke in this thing. Then I think why when we get older do these rides bother us so much. BULLSHIT I say and I ride and laugh and try to forget that I'm about to puke. Maybe it is because we over think everything the older we get, it is our minds messing with us. So the ride finally ends. I get off as if I have just shot gunned six beers. Twisty feels the same way.....btw, she shouldn't. She is way to young to feel like this. I blame having MS on my stuff, balance is a constant challenge.

This is Santa's slide. It has been there since I was a kid. If I wasn't so lazy I would scan a picture of me on this slide in the seventies. I would have my plaid pants on with my un matching shirt. My blond hair would be a mess and my barrette would be half falling out of my hair. That's just how I rolled back then. Come to think of it that's how I still roll from time to time. I tell the kids I used to go down this same slide when I was a kid. They don't really give a shit. In fact I wonder if they even listened to what I said.

We roll up to Santa's sleigh. Twisty and I still looking like two drunk girls from that last ride. We say to the old guy that we need an easy ride because that last one has us a little shaken. He turns to us and says.....Oh but you girls are so young. Cole....aka...Drama... says.....Hey guy my Mom is 41. Thanks for that Cole, I'm sure the guy did not think I looked a day over 40. This sleigh was pulled by horses. This meant there was that ever so sweet smell of horse shit in the air. It's amazing how you don't remember the smell of horse shit when you are kid. Like I love to say...ignorance is bliss. Our driver was a talker. I'm just wondering why a guy in his sixties with grown children is driving Santa's sleigh. My guess is he is retired and realizes him and his wife no longer have anything in common, he probably does it to get away from her. Or perhaps maybe he is one of those funny guys who like children. I really need to get my mind out of the gutter it seems to rent space in.

We head over to the little petting zoo. It is the same one that was there when I was a kid. Once again much smaller than I remember it. I can't help taking a picture of the little pig butt hole. Now if I had a little pink round butt with a cute pink butt hole I might just post a picture of it too.

I just couldn't help myself on this one! I had to pull my pants up too high. Every time I see a camel my mind goes right back in the gutter.

This is the same pony ride that was there when I was a kid. Aidan...aka...Danger, danger Will Robinson was afraid to ride these ponies. Cole and Ella both go on. I get a good laugh at Twisty who has to walk around in a circle through horse shit.

SERIOUSLY????????? Maybe Aidan had the right idea when he decided against the ponies. How do you explain this to a child???? They are really not familiar with the saying....hung like a horse. Twisty really wanted to take a ride on this one. I have to talk her off the edge and explain I'm the older one so I get first pick. This one is mine.

We finish our day at Santa's village with some good old fashion ice cream. We had such a great day. Going to Chicago in the summer just happens to be some of the best days of my life. I love hanging out with Twisty and the golden jerk. I only wish we could live closer together.

On our way out we see those same mushrooms that have been painted over a dozen times. You can see the paint coming through from the last paint job. I have to tell you. What I love most about this picture is Cole....aka...drama on top of that tall mushroom. This is a kid after my own heart, I would totally have posed the same way on that mushroom.

After writing this post I can only think...I almost wish we aged in reverse. Think of how much more we would enjoy life. We wouldn't be so insecure. We would learn to enjoy the good things in life and take them all in. We would appreciate our young healthy bodies when we had them. We would spend more time with the people we love. We would do and say everything we ever wanted. We would take more chances and just enjoy smelling the roses. Life goes fast, I know I'm showing my age now. Take time to enjoy it. Quit worrying about the woulda, coulda, shoulda! Maybe I should take my own advice. What makes me sad is I'm raising a teenager in this time. They are prisoners to their phones, the Internet, and facebook. I feel that he is missing out on some of the best times of his life. He seems to be only halfway present through life. It's almost sad that life has come to this......Whaaaaaa, Whaaaaaa!