What are you smoking????

Yes, that is my child the one missing his complete uniform. Oh yeah and the one giving me that most evil stare. I can just imagine whats going on in his head. It might go something like.....Damn it Mom, why do you always have to be snapping pictures of me....go away already. His friend next to him is probably saying....gee Dude does your Mom ever stop taking pictures of you???

Because my head had been totally up my ass lately I realize the night before Blake's choir concert that he no longer fits in his uniform. Pisses me off because I paid 100 dollars for it at the beginning of the year. What the Hell is this kid thinking hitting puberty and growing that much. Couldn't he have waited till after his last choir concert. What this means for me is I have to run around Monday getting Black pants, a white shirt, and black shoes. Seventy dollars later I'm good to go. I call Blake and tell him to meet me in the gym after school. I want him to try this stuff on and make sure it all fits. I have to run Joe...aka...Lost to work which is the opposite direction from the school. I'm racing to get to the school. I get there go in the gym and No Blake. One of his coaches is in there. He goes to check the locker room for me. Comes Back, No Blake. So I call Blake. It kind of goes something like this.

Me......Where are you???

BLAKE....Where are you???


ME.....I'm in the gym, waiting for you just like I said I would be.

BLAKE....OOPS.

ME....What do you mean OOPS???

BLAKE....Didn't you talk to Dad???

ME...No why???

BLAKE....I told him I was going with friends to eat before the concert.

ME.....WHY WOULD YOU CALL DAD AND TELL HIM WHEN I AM THE ONE MEETING YOU IN THE GYM.

BLAKE....I don't know!

ME....Have you already left the school?

BLAKE....YES

ME...I'M GOING TO KILL YOU. WHERE ARE YOU GOING SO I CAN COME THERE?

BLAKE.... McDonald's.

ME....Don't go anywhere till I get there.

The fact that I could have met him at McDonald in the first time would have saved me lots of time. The traffic getting to the school is always bad. Now getting out of the school will be bad too. What is it with teenagers. Why do their brains become mush??????

Yep, That's my Jerk the one with his hand over his face. I should have just let him wear the choir uniform that didn't fit him. I could just see him up there in his floods and his shirt he could hardly button. That would have been priceless. I did have him tuck in the tags on his pants and shirt so I can return them tomorrow. I will exchange them for something for me for all of my hard work!

The conversations I have had with Blake lately blow my mind. He called me at work on Friday.

BLAKE....Mom can you pick me up?

ME....NO, I'm working.

BLAKE....Can Dad

ME....Dad is at the lake.

BLAKE.....Dad is taking us to the lake?

ME....HUH, No he is at the lake therefore he will be unable to pick you up.

BLAKE.....He is picking us up after the lake.

ME....Please tell me you are joking????? Now get your ass on the bus before I lose my mind!

Our veggie garden is growing strong, not many veggies yet though. Sad thing is I tried to keep the markers in there but a lot have blown away. Now I am unsure of what things are. Since I am a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. I didn't research much I just planted a bunch of stuff to see what would grow.

Kerry Kerry, quite contrary?

How does your garden grow

I'm not sure what the fuck will pop up

But I'll be sure to let you know!

And I wonder why the HELL I can't get rid of un wanted belly fat!

On a final note. After I was done rubbing Aidan and Cole's backs at bedtime. I went into Blake's room. While trying to talk to him the beeping from his cell phone was driving me crazy. I have to tell him to put the phone down and look at me in the eye! I ask him something. His response......What are you smoking????? Holy Shit, did I hear that right??? You look like Blake, alright so you really don't sound like Blake, but where is my sweet Blake??? I had a very simple responce for Blake on that one. I said the only thing I will be smoking is your ass the next time you ask me something like that. Oh and maybe alittle medical marjuana.

Don't worry Mom your just like a fat twig.

First vegetable from our garden. I may just be Martha Stewart after all. It was delicious too.

Someday Aidan's going to kill me for this one, but I just could not help myself. Saturday night Aidan and I sat on the sofa and watched TV for hours. It was wonderful. I went back to my room to get in my PJ's. When I came out this is what I found. I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants. I say Aidan what are you doing???? He grins and says....trying on your shoes. He says....how do you walk in these???? I say..I'm used to walking in heels. I take a picture with my camera phone and send it off to a few people. I got mixed reviews from the picture. Most people thought it was funny. One person was appalled. I mean come on he is a kid, I don't think he will turn into a cross dresser or become gay because he tried a pair of heels on. If he does it ain't going to be because of this. So we continue to watch TV together. He in the heels and me in my PJ's with my super high ponytail. We are a sight for sore eyes I'm sure.

About an hour later he passes out in the heels. Once again I almost wet my pants laughing at him. This picture is going in his wedding video for sure! It will also come in handy for blackmailing him in highschool. The nice thing about him falling asleep is I can now watch the OC housewives. Hub's and Joe...aka...Lost are out at the Nut. Life is good. I leave the shoes on Aidan so I can irritate Hub's when he comes home. The things that amuse me don't amuse him at all.

These people are going to tear down my house one piece of furniture at a time. What I love the most is Joe is on the sofa, Blake is on the computer and no one is even fazed by Aidan standing on the desk. I come around the corner and yell....SERIOUSLY???? They all look at me as if I have three heads and say....WHAT???? Um, gee I don't know I guess it's normal to be standing on a desk sticking your ass out at Joe.

I'm putting Aidan and Cole to bed the other night I always rub their backs and we talk about stuff. Cole says Mom why are you exercising so much lately...you never did that before. I tell him because something happens after 40. You start to store fat in strange places that you never thought you could. Cole....like where?? Me...Um, it's almost like tiny little water ballons are stuck under my skin. They are places like my back, stomach, and hips. It is most annoying, be glad your a Dude this will never bother you. Aidan says.......Don't worry Mom you just kind of look like a fat twig. I say what the Hell is a fat twig?????? He says ya know your legs are skinny and your arms are skinny. Then your a little fat here and he points to his boobs and here and points to his tummy. He then says ya know your muffin top. The fact that my second grader called my stomach a muffin top makes me laugh so hard I want to pee. Then guilt sets in......for I am the reason he knows what a muffin top is at all. That just ain't right. I better stop with all the muffin top talk....most of the time I'm joking around about it. I may give him body image issues. I can't afford to pay for therapy for these people. No judging Please!

So last week I had to work a lot because my boss was gone. Cole had a field trip. Now I have gone to every class party and field trip since this kid started school. I ask Michael to go with him since I can't. He doesn't really want to. Then I guilt him into it. I say look Blake doesn't even want to hang out with us anymore. We only really have two more years before this one is held up in his room not wanting any part of us. That is except for food and cash. So he goes and ends up having a good time. I get home from work and Cole tells me all about his field trip. I wasn't expecting what came next at all. Cole pulls out this home made thank you note that he wrote Michael. At this time something totally different is going on in my head compaired to what's coming out of my mouth. It went something like this.

HEAD....WTF, are you kidding me?????

MOUTH........Wow, a thank you note for Dad. That was really nice of you.

HEAD.......How sweet since your Dad didn't even want to go. I guilted him!

MOUTH......Yep, that sure was nice of your Dad to go with you.

HEAD........All the pucking shit I go to I never got even a THANK YOU.

MOUTH.......What a nice thought thinking to write a Thank you note. I'm really proud of you.

HEAD.......Where the Hell are all my Thank you notes.

MOUTH......Maybe your Dad should go to more of your things, You should go tell him you want him to go to everything from now on.

HEAD......EVIL LAUGH

Crazy neighbor, strikes again

So yesterday the kids were playing soccer in my driveway. I'm standing there talking with my neighbor from across the street. Because we live in the hill country we are not on even ground. Our driveway sits on higher ground than our crazy neighbor...aka...the germs yard. This means a handful of balls have gone over his fence. Does he throw them back....Hell No! He screams profanities at us, sometimes pops the ball while we watch, but never throws them back. One time my friends two year old chucked a pop can over the fence....that he threw back over! So the kids are hitting the soccer ball back and forth with their heads. Damn thing goes right over the fence. My kids have a friend over, surprise, surprise. Well of course it's her ball. So her sweet little face just gets this horrified look on it. She is on the brink of tears. She says....I just paid twenty dollars for that brand new ball. My nice neighbor who is in the driveway talking to me says...I will go ring his bell and tell him I did it and see if he will give it back. Me....I'm thinking good luck with that! I have been down that road and it NEVER turns out well. He walks over and the Germ does not answer the door. Kind of surprised, he usually answers to swear at people and push old ladies to the ground.


Shorty after this we head to the community pool. We get there and the kids forgot a basketball. I get back in the car and I have Cole and two of his friends with me. While driving back home my other neighbor calls and says....The police are at the Germs house. I'm thinking surely he did not call them because a ball went over the fence. He has done that before by the way. I pull up and the police are waiting for me in my driveway. I get out of the car and say....please tell me your not here over that ball. Now these police know me by name because there was a time where he called once a week on me. They say...No we are here because the guy next door said you hired someone to beat him up and he fears for his life. Me.....I'm like WHAT????? I go through the story and tell them the guy across the street went to the door to try and get a little girls ball back for her. They tell me he said I was in my driveway talking to my really buff 35 year old hired beater upper and I sent him to the germs house to beat him up. He told the police that he fears for his life and him and his family are like prisoners because they are afraid to come out of their house. Shit really????? Dude is out cussing at us, staring us down, intimidating our children, barking like a dog at us, and just plain making us miserable for four years! Afraid my ass! So they say their going to go back over and tell him it was the guy across the street trying to get a ball back and not a hired beater upper.














Me I head back to the pool with the kids. God knows what Cole's friends think of this. So we hang at the pool for about a hour. We come back and police are there again. This time they are at my neighbors house who went to the door. So crazy man next door had the police issue a warning to that neighbor that if he ever steps foot on his property again it will be considered criminal trespassing. Holy shit guy has gone off the deep end.














A few weeks ago Cole my middle child runs in and says.....I'm cleaning up the driveway and the guy next door is at the foot of our driveway staring me down. Now until recently I have said nothing to him. I ignore him and take the higher road. You start to mess with my kids.....whole nother story. I walk out there.....and yell what the HELL are you staring at????? He storms off. I stand there and back he comes with a tree trimmer in his hand. He starts to trim his bushes that are in between his house and mine. He is throwing the trimmings in my driveway. He did this to the other people on the other side of him a week ago. I yell...(by the way, I sent my kids in the house at this point) So I yell.....Get your shit off my driveway! I have kept quiet for four years...NO MORE! He tells me to get the fuck in my house! At this point my oldest son had walked out to check on me. All the sudden my oldest son is saying...Don't talk to my Mom that way. As much as I love the fact that he is protecting me I tell him to go in the house because I got this. I go back in and tell Blake even if an adult is acting bad he should not put his two cents in.
Anyway I'm fed the fuck up with this guy. So I put my life size cardboard cut outs looking at his vegetable garden which is the picture above! I will take them down when he takes his...SMILE YOUR ON CAMERA SIGN DOWN that faces my house!

So tonight my poor neighbor on the other side of him is having to build pretty much a Berlin wall across her yard. This is because he stares at them and cusses and checks out their teenage daughter while she swims. My brother...aka...Lost is going over there to help them. So I walk over with him. As I'm coming back from their house here comes the germ. I'm walking on the public sidewalk. He comes from the opposite direction coming towards me on the edge of his grass. My first instinct is to cross the street. Bullshit I say.....I'm walking this fuck head is not going to intimidate me anymore. So I walk right past him, he is staring me down with this face that scares the shit out of me. Me even though my insides are in total panic mood I hold my cool and stare him down as well. It feels like this is going in slow motion. I feel pure panic mood in my body but I ain't going to break, I hold the stare down. I refuse to let this asshole make me feel uncomfortable in my neighborhood anymore.


I get back to my house feeling like Really????? What's wrong with this guy! Aidan wants to go walk our dog. This is something we should be able to to do without getting any shit. I say alright...lets walk the dog. So we go out for our walk. I say...Lets cross the street cause germ is in his front yard. We cross and the fucker stands in his yard staring us down with his hands on his hips! I start to wave at him really happy and nice! He yells at the top of his lungs to his wife to get the camera. Really dude? Your going to take a pic of me waving nicely at you????? Holy Shit, My house is in the tune of 70 K in the hole about now! If I could get rid of it I would, can't lose that much right now. But for Fucks sake this guy is driving me insane!


After re-reading this. I feel I should say Sorry Dad...aka...The Grump, for my potty mouth! I'm really mad though. Maybe you should not read anything I write that says crazy neighbor. Mom...aka...Debbie, I know your cool with this! You can have a little potty mouth once in a while too! Love that about you.

Twisty can't spell either

No pictures with this post damn it. Not sure what's up whether it is blogger or my stupid computer. My laptop crashed this week. Now I'm working on my desktop which is why I'm way behind.
So Kelly...aka...my Twisted sister was slamming my spelling on facebook once again. Everyone knows I can't spell worth a shit anyway. So later that night I sent Twisty a text.

Me.....Wat up???

Twisty....We R at the bar...Amy and me

Me... wow, your drinking???? (Twisty doesn't drink usually)

Twisty....Ehat???? (guessing she meant What)

Twisty.... I'm buzzed. Inhad 4 berets

Me.....Berets?????LMAO guessing that means beer.

Me.....Your fucking spelling sucks(Sorry Dad...aka...Grump) I know you hate that word.

Twisty.....LOL

Me.....I'm going to blog about your miss spelling.

Twisty.....they r drunk misspleeing

Me.....Holy Shit....MISSPLEEING????

Twisty....Suck it

Me...We r so getting drunk when I get there

Twisty...Totky

Me...Do you mean totally. Your making my night with all the misspleeing

Twisty.....Blah!!!!!!! I'm home trying to strppied me clothes off to get in my PJ's.

Me...Strppied.....that's a new one.

Moral of the story be careful when you throw stones at other people they have a way of coming back and hitting you square between the eyes! I guess Twisty can't spell either. BTW, I LOVE IT.

Thank God, soccer season is over

As much as I love to spend a few nights a week running kids to practices. Oh, and I love spending my entire Saturday running from one soccer game to another, to another. Thank God, soccer season is over. Oh how I will miss all the bickering in the car back and forth to practice.
I will also miss the sound of.....can we get McDonald's, Sonic, Burger King, anything fast food please. So the next three months will be soccer free. Then the vicious circle starts up again. I was thinking the other day I should have kept track of how many soccer games I have been to in the last ten years. Just a gerbil in a wheel I say.

While rubbing Aidan's back last night he tells me Blake gave him a very important job. I'm thinking to myself this should be good. He tells me Blake wants him to be his "informative". What a big word for such little people! I ask him.....what might an "informative" do for Blake. He says Blake told him since he hangs out with the girls all the time he needs to get info for him. I ask.....what kind of info???? He says....ya know like who they like and that kind of stuff. Really??????? I ask if he took the job. He tells me kind of. I ask what does kind of mean??? He says....I got the info but there's no way I'm giving it to Blake. I tell him I'm very proud of him. This is what good friends do. Then I want to know if any of them have their eye on my baby Blake. I ask Aidan to tell me what the girls said. He tells he can't do that. I say but I'm your Mom you have to tell me everything I ask you to. He tells me he was sworn to secrecy. I tell him he can't keep secrets from his Mom. He says....I know I don't keep important secrets from you, but this you really don't need to know. Who are you kid????? I didn't raise a child with this much integrity. He kind of reminds me of my Dad....aka....the Grump. Grump can keep a secret like nobodies business. Mom...aka..Debbie, Kelly...aka...Twisted, and Me...aka...Mom of the year not so much. Even though I am really proud of him I am also disappointed I couldn't squeeze the info out of him. Now at this point I really should have the "secret" talk with him. The one where in a lot of cases if someone tells you to keep a secret from your parents you shouldn't. This is different since they did not per say tell him to not tell me specifically. I'm too lazy and my DVR is full, I got stuff to do. Wow, writing that down I really have this wave of guilt come over me. I think I will have the "secret" talk with him tonight.

Is the Universe trying to tell me something???? What's with dead birds and me lately??? This dude flew into my bathroom window. Well it was all down hill from there. At least he died on impact. I find I am teary eyed again. I think I need a happy pill or something, this teary eyed stuff is getting old. I also found myself crying when Romeo got voted off dancing with the stars. Pathetic, Right?????

My weekend was filled with a few fun get togethers. Friday night we went to a cinco de mayo party. Saturday we got together with a few couples for a mud bug party.

This whole "mud bug" thing boggles my mind. Their just so nasty. The fact that they are cruising around the yard right before we eat them is strange. Being a Chicago girl at heart I had never even heard of "Mud bugs" before moving to Texas. I think the grosses part about them is they are loaded with shit when you crack them open. I'm not kidding either I mean real shit! It's also a whole lot of work for just a little tease of food. My favorite part about the "mud bugs" is watching Ian cook the little suckers.

Robin, Ian, and I crazy loved our crab hats. Hub's was not a fan....party pooper! He looks thrilled to have this on right????

For some reason I couldn't shake these two crabs off me all night!

Blame it on the alcohol! I seem to think this crap is funny. That is until I see the pictures! What can I say......crabs anyone????

I worked today which put my home after seven. The little guys were just getting out of the shower. I sitting on the laptop checking my E-mail when the two little nudie kazuties come running through the kitchen acting like jack asses. They are screaming, laughing, and chasing each other. I have learned to tune them out a lot of the time. Hub's not so much. He gets mad and tells them to get upstairs and get dressed. They completely ignore him. He yells again. Cole is like.....WHAT? Hub's yells I told you to get dressed. Cole looks right at him and says......JERK! The look on Hub's face, oh my gosh. He stood there red faced staring at Cole for a few minutes. Cole knew he had crossed the line this time. All the sudden Hub's starts for Cole. All I see is this naked little ass run like lighting. Now they are chasing each other around my kitchen island. Cole is most dramatically crying yelling MOM, MOM, PLEASE HELP ME! HE IS GOING TO KILL ME. Is it bad that I am just laughing uncontrollably at him. I want a front row seat for this ass kickin. For this is the kid that told me he was in the market for a new Mom yesterday!

I see dead birds

My brother Joe...aka...Lost got a job at little Caesar's being little Caesar. Let me just tell you the dude can entertain. Aidan and I went to pick him up from work. Aidan had to get in on the action for just a minute. Now my friend Ash who owns the Caesar's was kind enough to give lost a job. She will probably read this and have a heart attack that I let Aidan that close to the street with him. Not to mention what Mom...aka...Debbie will say. Me I just think this job kind of looks fun, besides the 90 degree weather. How fun to jump around and act like a complete fool and no one knows who you are. He is enjoying the job besides the one guy who flipped him the bird. Really, dude????? Are you that angry that you feel the need to flip off Caesar????

This weekend my friend Erin who lives one house away had a bunch of middle school girls at her house for the weekend. It's funny because Blake is the same age as her daughter and I'm the middle schools boys house. I see trouble in our future. Blake had about four boys over on this night. Erin and I who are on the same page decided her girls and my boys would not see each other this night. Neither one of us felt like playing chaperons. Now Aidan Blake's brother got to go over and hang with the girls. This made Blake very mad. Ask me if I care, I don't! So the girls and boys texted back and fourth for a while. Blake text Ari and asked why Aidan could be there and not him. She shows Erin the text. Erin's response which is classic to me is.....Aidan is not yet in puberty there for he can stay. Love that Erin. I know Erin and me are going to be friends a very long time. We did have to torcher Blake by sending him photos of his baby brother with the girls! I love that our evil minds think a like.

Wednesday night Joe...aka...lost wanted to get out of the house. We headed to the nutty brown for the free Wednesday night concert. While we were there I spotted my Recon guys. Back story on the recon guys is.......last year I spotted hot guys picking up the recycling in my hood. Every Wednesday I posted something about them on facebook. Alot of my friends got a laugh, some not so much. It became a little bit of a running joke on garbage day. Yes I just might be desperate housewife number one with a capital D but who's judging???? Oh wait, everybody. Anyway, I had to get a pic with my recon guys. They of course pointed out they are not your typical garbage guys they are in fact environmental specialist. I will go with that! So I could have birthed these babies.....who's judging??? Oh yes, everybody! Well not everyone. I will not name names but there are a few others on my hood who enjoy garbage day too.

Joe and I had a great time hanging out. For we are two peas in a pod.

Before we left that night we enjoyed some Chicago style pizza that Debbie sent with him. Oh how I love me some Chicago style pizza. Thank you Debbie! Lou malnati to be exact...I think you can get this on line. Totally worth it.

So anyway any of you who read this regularly know I have birthed some baby birds. Or I would like to think I have. Anyway, Thursday I headed to work and checked on my babies as always. They were all there. When I had come home from lunch they were all gone. Sad for me since I feel like the mama bird. One got trapped in a mouse trap in our garage. Hub's cut him out of the mouse trap and put him back in the nest. I watched him thinking a few times he was dying cause he didn't look real healthy. Hub's and Joe headed out to the nutty brown that night. I was all comfy watching shit TV when they came in. They told me the baby was stiff in the nest. I don't know why but I went out there cried like a baby.

Cole woke up in the am and ran out to see how the bird was doing. He said....I think this bird is dead. I told him we would have a bird funeral after school.
I found the perfect thing to keep him in.....an egg carton.

We were trying to decide where to bury bird. We thought we would bury him under the tree in the front yard. This is where the mommy used to stay. The ground was too hard under there. We decided to bury him in the landscape right by where his nest was.

It was only Cole and I at the bird funeral. These other people had no interest. I guess we are the heart and soul of these people we live with.

Cole make a little head stone. It read.....baby bird grabe, then he crossed out the b in grabe and put a V. It also said...died may 5, 2011. Then he wrote....I love bird....on the landscape stone in front of the grave. Later that night Cole was under our tree in the front yard. I asked him what he was doing and who he was talking to. He told me there was a bird in the tree. He was telling the bird where the baby bird was buried so he could visit him. Oh my gosh, I almost cried again.

Last night I was checking on all my sleeping chickens. I went into Blake's room. I saw a note on his night stand that was clearly from a girl. I thought to myself....that's his note none of my business. I always hated when Debbie would read my notes as a kid. If I was smart I would have read them and destroyed them so Debbie couldn't read them. She used to get alot of good info out of those notes. I couldn't help myself and I grabbed the note to read it. It said something about how she was so thankful he gave her his jacket to wear. I was wondering where his jacket went. Then it said she thinks she loves him. What LOVE???? What happened to the days of Do you like, like me?? He is the cutest boy in school and she can't wait to hang out all summer! I don't think so Sister!!!! The best part of the note was so typical middle school girl stuff. It said Please, please, please, write me a note back, tell me how you feel, and say something nice. WOW, reminds me of myself in middle school. Scary. It had a bunch of hearts and flowers drawn all over it. I'm not ready for this shit! Why can't I have the dorky kid that girls don't like???? I feel like I could puke in my mouth.

I have been doing ab exercises like a crazy person for like six weeks straight now. It's bullshit because I still have belly fat. I never had to workout before. Now that I am doing something I am fatter than I ever was. Something is wrong with this picture. Yesterday I ran to GNC to get a colon cleanse. I was talking to the guy telling him my problem. I figure I have to be loaded with shit or something. I just need to clean out that colon. He asks what I'm doing as far as exercise and diet. DIET????? Yada, Yada, Yada, I can't hear you! I tell the guy I think there is just ten ponds of shit stuck in my colon. Well at least that's what I was thinking. He sells me this Detox-LGC pill. It's supposed to cleanse you Colon, liver, and gallbladder. Then he tells my I will have to take a shot of this AIO stuff with it. This is a liquid cellular health drink. I swear there is a six pack hiding under this jelly roll.

I wake up the next day after dreaming about chicken tacos and cheese popcorn.....don't ask! I take the pill with warm water. Then I take a shot of this god awful tasting cellular drink. I start to get ready to go to my friends house when I get this wave a heat in my head. I look in the mirror and my face is red as shit and it feels like I'm in an oven. I start to panic. I'm thinking to myself....what if I die all from not wanting a little extra belly fat. How selfish that would be. What will my kids say??? Then my arms turn red and they feel like they are on fire. What to do???? Do I go to the hospital??? Am I having an allergic reaction???? Am I having a stroke??? Then I start to panic more and wonder if my throat is going to close up. I pace between mirrors checking my color and looking to see if my tongue is swelling. Debbie once sent me and E-mail that said if your tongue is swelling you could be having a stroke. My mind starts to mess with me and I think I may be short of breath. I decide to grab the bottles of both things I just took so I can google side effects. This could be bad if there is a bad side effect it's going to send me right over the edge. So the pills really have no awful side effects that I can find. While on the computer I'm breathing deep breaths as if I'm giving birth. I keep checking my face to see how hot it is. I get to the AIO side effects and it says may cause flushing and a heat sensation. This is because it has niacin in it. Phew, all that panic for nothing.



Anyway my final thoughts of the day. I wonder why I did three loads of laundry and only came out with four pairs of matching socks. I have nine socks with no match. I would love to see where these missing socks go. Maybe there is a secret sock island where they are turned into sock puppets. They probably dance and drink all day. I'm also wondering why these people I live with don't flush the toilet behind them. I'm sick of finding shit left behind. Just sitting here dreaming of my trailer in the backyard with my own TV, my own computer, my flushed toilet and I can find all my shit just fine. Once again sorry for mis spelling and bad grammar, I'm just to lazy to proof read.

Easter Weekend

Good Friday Twisty made Ella...aka...the golden jerk go back to Chicago. She loved the Michael Jackson dance game. Of course she wanted to play before the meanie dragged her home!

The flight was not looking good for them on the way home. I was secretly praying it would be canceled. I can be a little selfish when it comes the the jerk.

I think Joe..aka..lost is on to something with this towel thing. I feel like every time I go out in the sun I cause more havoc to my face. I may make myself a towel face this summer.

Blake and his friends have the most interesting conversations. I guess I don't get them because I'm a girl. Boggles my mind though.

Some of the Cavender's are coming in for Easter weekend. At least I get to trade one niece for another. Unfortunately as the Cavender's were coming in Twisty and I were on our way out to the airport. We got to visit for just about fifteen minutes.

The boys, Lexi, and I went to an egg hunt on Saturday. The boys thought they were too old and too cool to hunt. It's sad how fast the years go. Cole did help Lexi hunt for eggs.

Cole is super sweet helping Lexi go through her Easter eggs. I've said this before but he is going to be a great Father some day. He better just wait till after college. It better be a girl too! I need to buy pink.

Here's Cole's one and only since first grade. This week was teacher appreciation week. One day the kids had to bring the teachers flowers. Cole wanted to get Brooke some too. I had to tell him no.

My baby birds are getting bigger everyday. I can't wait to eat them.....haaa, haaaa, haaaa, haaaa, haa ,ha!

Even though the boys didn't want to egg hunt they did still color eggs.

Here we are in egg coloring hell. My niece Lexi made the most beautiful eggs. The boys not so much. I better have a whole bunch of Granddaughters some day.

Of course Blake doesn't want to color eggs. He just wants to eat them. Typical teen age freak.

We play some Michael Jackson dance and sing along. I crazy love this game.

Mimi, who normally doesn't partake in cocktail hours with us has a few. She is rocking at the Michael Jackson.

We had a great visit with some of the Cavender clan. It went too fast as usual. Unfortunately they had to leave Easter morning.

I had a few friends over for Easter. It was an awesome day. I'm sad all the time that we have no family here. Having great friends makes it just a little easier.

I'm jealous that dudes seem to be able to fall asleep anywhere.



So today is just another one of those days where that song..."I had a bad day" is running through my head. I'm really ready for the end of the school year. I'm sick of having homework. Homework hour makes my wish there was a pump where you could pump beer in your veins and remain comfortably numb. I think my blood pressure is rising by the second. I got a phone call from a friend and all Hell broke lose. The boys started fighting and screaming. Making a total ass out of me. I'm trying to mouth.....GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, while on the phone. WHY????????????? Where have I gone wrong? I'm mean, I yell, I ground them. Why aren't they afraid of me. I run out to my front porch to try and get away from them. Here they come. Since I'm still on the phone I give them the Mad Mom of all mad Mom's looks. This doesn't bother them at all. I have to cut my call short as I have to cut most things for me short.

When I left for work today my baby birds were warm and cozy in their nest. I stopped home for lunch and they were gone. I was sad since I watched them everyday from the time they were just little eggs. I walk out through the garage to go back to work. I stop at the fridge to get a water. While there I see a little bird hit the wall and fall behind the fridge. Joe and I move the fridge out hoping to free the little guy. He walked behind the work bench and we couldn't find him. After I got home from work Michael said he found the bird in a mouse trap. I don't believe in poisoning any kind of animal so we only have mouse traps with sticky strips. He got the bird out and put him back in his nest. The wing is messed up so he can't fly. I'm afraid he is going to die. This makes my bad day worst.



So I sit here tonight feeling road hard and put away wet. Not in the good way either. My house that I just cleaned looks like a tornado hit it. There is a huge pile of laundry even though I did five loads yesterday. I think I have the end of school blues. Since I am normally a glass half full kind of gal. I'm going to shot gun a full glass of beer and sit on my back porch. I will be thinking about the day these people I live with have their own people they live with. Now this puts an evil grin upon my face. It almost makes it all worth it.

crazy neighbor

My baby birds are growing everyday! Almost time to eat them.....evil laugh!

Anyone who keeps up with this blog knows I have a crazy ass neighbor. While watching my neighbors pool last weekend he stood on his patio taking pictures of me. The smart ass in me struck a pose for him. The next day I walk out to go to my car and find this sign staring at me! I swear this guy has gone off the deep end.

My neighbor had a tree planting, cocktail drinking party last weekend! Here she is striking a pose in front of her new trees.

Here are the guys hard at work. Aidan thought he was funny when he jumped into a hole. Zack gave him a little water to see if he would grow.

Here is the crazy neighbor...aka...the Germ stalking us while we plant. He yelled "PUCK YOU" over the fence more than once. He called me a bitch when I walked by. One of my neighbors tried to be nice and ask him what's up. He yelled at him that he has pucked up! Me I've tried to be nice to this guy for three years and I'm just done at this point. Later his wife and him got out a video camera and a camera phone and started filming all of us with their token "Christian" music blasting. Who knows what he plans to do with that. It must be miserable to live such an angry life. I feel bad for him....what a waste of time it is being mad all the time.

The boys ran around like ninjas chasing each other through the yard. Besides the crazy Germ it was a pretty fun night.



Today I woke up to craziness in my house. Aidan woke up on the wrong side of the bed. He couldn't find HIS jacket. Guess who got the blame for that one. You guessed it me, myself, and I. Because I should know where all THEIR crap is right! Usually I do have everything ready to go in the am. Just to avoid things like this. I guess I have ruined them. Just wondering now how I can reverse this damage I've caused. If I keep going this way they are never going to move out. God, help their wives. I'm saying I'm sorry right now to any possible future daughter in laws.

After I booted their asses out the door and got Joe...aka...Lost off to work I headed to Walmart. While at Walmart I am mesmerized in the candy aisle and almost run into the twenty something year old stock boy. He smiles at me and we go about our business. While shopping there the stock boy keeps popping up making silly small talk with me. I'm at the check out counter about to finish up and I see him standing a few feet away. I pick up my phone and act like I'm making a call to avoid anymore small talk. While packing my shit in my car here he comes again. He asks if I need any help. I'm starting to think this guy is flirting with me. Maybe these palates are finally paying off. Maybe I look hot as shit....haha! I'm totally kidding by the way. I look like a raga muffin and I'm dressed like a frump. I don't know what this dudes problem is. I think it's that older women thing. Which by the way baffles me. I've seen the women in their twenties.......way hotter than anyone in their forties. Usually I can flirt with the best of um.....but not when I looking so rough. Not to mention dude would have to have a better job than Walmart stock boy. For I'm not young and dumb. Starting to wonder if there is a sign on my back that reads.....desperate housewive in need of rescue.

Back to reality I get home to unload the groceries, do laundry, and clean house. I pick up the kids at 3:00 and come home with a few extras as usual. Aidan is still on the wrong side of the bed. I'm in an awful mood because I'm cleaning. This is the same thing I'll be doing in a few days......just a dog chasing my tail. I throw some dinner in. Michael has a softball game. Aidan was planning on going but his friend is still over. After his friend goes home he wants me to ride him up to the game. This is one of the only nights I do not have to run someone somewhere. I explain to him I'm tired and just want to relax at this point. He keeps on and on. I tell him give me ten minutes of not saying a word and I will think about. I'm a total sucker so I'm planning on taking him at this point. Could he give me ten minutes????? HELL NO! He kept on and on. I look at him and say.....I'm serious....give me ten minutes. He starts to cry......Your not going to take me. Again I say......TEN MINUTES AIDAN. Once again.......Your not going to take me. This goes on a few more times. All of the sudden I lose it. It's almost like an evil twin took over. I find myself yelling and I can't stop. Now he is crying, I am screaming, and the dog is looking at me like I have three heads. The next thing I know I am crying. I feel about two feet tall. It's like I couldn't stop yelling at him. Yelling things that he could really give a shit about. Like laundry, cleaning, cooking, driving, sports, and the fact that I do everything for them. Pretty much leaving myself behind. Mother of the year I tell you. We finally calm down well I should say I calm down. I give him a hug and tell him I'm sorry I lost my mind for a minute. He now thinks I will take him to the game. I have to tell him NO way because he can't get rewarded for bad behavior even if mine was worst. So tonight I sit here feeling like the worst Mother in the world. I'm wondering if I changed who he could be as Oprah would say. Then I think....well he kind of changed who I could be by pushing my buttons. Fair is fair right???? No really I do feel awful that damn song...."I had a bad day" is running rapid in my brain. I hope tomorrow goes better.

On a final note I put the little guys to bed. I laid there for a while talking with them. Cole asked me is I would rather be killed by a shark, a fire, or by drowning. I think for a minute and I say....shark. He asks why and I say I think it would be the faster way to go. He then asks me if Ziggy was drowning in the Ocean would I try to save him. Thank God, he didn't ask me about Aidan. I tell him of course I would try to save him. Ziggy is our dog by the way. I ask him if he would save Ziggy. He tells me he would save Ziggy or any other dog that was drowning. Then he tells me even if a bird was drowning he would save them. So sweet, I just wonder where this overactive imagination comes from. Oh wait, that would be from me. Then the subject goes from sweet to awkward. He tells me he can't wait to have hair on his chest and under his arms. He asks if I have a hairy chest. I tell him girls don't have hair on their chest at least any he would like. He asks about my underarms, and legs. I tell him girls shave those areas. He asks where besides my head do I have hair?????.....AWKWARD. I tell him my arms..this is a Daddy conversation. So I kiss them goodnight and turn off the lights. While in the hall I hear Blake on the phone with someone behind his closed door. I can't help but be a little sad. He no longer wants me to hang out like the other two. Now I find myself laying on the floor outside his door trying to listen in. What I can't believe is his voice. It's like I'm listening to a man. I get teary eyed because......I had a bad day.