The Golden Jerk arrives in town

So my twister sister and the golden jerk were supposed to fly in Thursday. They didn't make it in till Saturday. My dad....aka .....the Grump works for AA, therefore we all go standby. Standby=getting bumped off flights. While waiting for her flight my twisted sister runs into my Dad's friend Steve. I have had a school girl crush on Steve for as long as I can remember. Now everyone knows this including Hub's so no judging please. Though I seem to have a lot of crushes they are all unrealistic ones. Of course she takes a picture with him for my benefit. Notice her finger also a crack at me. Notice her daughter looking at her finger. Nice Twisty! I may pass the Mom of the year torch over to her.

So Ella wakes up Sunday morning and tries to get a hold of my man. He looks at her and says.....put me down please, I am Kerry's pocket vampire. I see a padded cell in my future with my pocket vampire in hand. I can hear the people now saying......I thought she was just kidding around with the life size vampire cutout, the pocket vampire, and the pictures of him with herself photo shopped in.

Sunday we headed back out to Founder days. I'm glad the golden jerk is here for this. I'm sad she missed the red neck parade though.

Yes, that is a giant white tiger stuffed with those cheap ass white balls that will soon occupy my carpet.

Notice one teenager "know it all" is missing from this picture. I kind of feel like I only have two boys these days. That is until his money runs out. When we got to Founders days he couldn't get away from us fast enough.

Here Cole is fishing in a catch and release pond for catfish. Twisted one is most disturbed by this.

Leave it to the Twisted one to get a picture of me with not only food in my mouth but fried food in front of me. Yes, I know I keep complaining about un wanted belly fat.....I have no self control.

Cole loves having Ella...aka...golden jerk around. He wants to be the one to take care of her all the time. He wants me to have another baby....that ain't going to happen! Someday he will make a wonderful Father. I can't wait to see that.

Here is Aidan, he is riding in the front with my Friend Ashley's son

What's the first thing that comes to mind when you look at this picture????? The first thing that comes to my mind is rode hard put away wet. This is about how we feel after a full weekend of Founders and the hot TX sun.

We get home with our new friends. Ya know the ones with the cheap ass white balls in them. My neighbor Erin is coming over for dinner that night. I put these guys at the table as if they were guest. She walks in and most dramatically says....get those away from your table do you know where they have been. I have to laugh out loud. This is totally something Twisty would say. So I move them and check for a hole in the crotch area. The only problem I would have is if a carnie used them as a blow up doll. Man I need to get my head out of the gutter.

When we pulled up to the house Ella got out of the car and said "MYCOLE" which means Michael of course. For some reason she likes him more than me this trip. I can't believe it, for one everyone likes me better than him. Except his blood relatives. I'm the one that buys her all the cute shit and thinks she hung the moon! What is she thinking. He didn't even go to Founders with us.

She says.....hey Uncle Mycole can I get a little of that beer in my Sippy??????

Next thing I know she is doing that most annoying drunk girl dance that all us girls do. Ya know the one that we have our hands in the air.

A little too much beer! Twisty finds her face down passed out! She didn't even make it in the bed. Now I kind of feel the need to say by no means did we really give minors alcohol....just a joke!


Anyway while writing this post I was watching Pretty in pink. I'm sitting here wondering where was my Jake back in the day????? That crap didn't happen! Eighties movies warped us girls vision of how life really is.


I'm throwing out three blog entries tonight because I'm an insomniac freak. I have not writen in this blog for weeks. I think my kids stole my mojo. I have had writers block lately. I'm cracking my ass up right now....I just called myself a writer. Yes, I still need to go back to school to teach me how to write correctly.....just another thing on my shit list.