Why it sucks to be turning 40!!!!!

As you all know I will be turning 40 in two weeks! I can't stop bitching about it! It's not that 40 is so bad its that I feel like I was just 30. Life is flying by and I would like it to slow down. I wrote a little list to make you laugh and make myself laugh about turning 40.

WHY IT SUCKS TO BE TURNING 40

1...Your ass has fallin and you can't get it back up......but you wish your husbands penis would do the same.

2...Your beautiful wrinkle free face now have some crows that have taken up space.

3...It takes two days to recover after a fun night of drinking...and when you wake up in the morning you look 5 years older than you should!

4...You scare the shit out of yourself when you get out of the shower and catch a glimse of yourself in the mirror.

5...Your nice flat tummy now has alittle muffin top to it!

6...Your talking to someone thinking damn they look old and you find out they are younger than you!

7...Your idea of a good time is a hot bath, the bachelor, and a good nights sleep.

8...You no longer get all the way naked to have sex!

9...You need to leave yourself sticky notes all over the house so you don't forget to get your shit done.

10...You need laser hair removal round the muff cause the razer just ain't cutting it.

11...Your boobs no longer look like oranges they are starting to resemble pork chops!

12...When you see yourself in a florissant lighted mirror you think I didn't look like that in my mirror and you don't dare go near a magnifying mirror.

13...The dimples that have taken up space on you ass have now invited their relatives to move to your stomach.