FACEBOOK

So I posted a link under MY profile for my blog. Some of my friends out here were asking about it. So I put it up there cause its easy to get it out to those people all at once. I'm not great on the computer so that seemed like a user friendly way for me. Long story short I got an E-mail from FB saying someone reported my blog as abusive....LOL Abusive!! , I thought to myself...abusive to who my family??? People read it, I'm the one being abused here! I love my kids and they make me laugh everyday but sometimes I do not like them. The blog is way to get things off my chest and look back later to see the humor in all of it. So anyway at first I'm mad. I think it's under my profile. They have to click on it to read it, if you don't like it... don't read it! Report it really?? lighten up everyone who has kids or a husband have felt frustrated before. So I post under my status "To whom it may concern whoever reported my blog as abusive you don't have to read it, and btw, get a life." So within minutes the FB police remove my status update. I guess the "get a life" was alittle over the top. It's crazy That some FB person is tracking what I have to say. Anyway I've been thinking about FB things that I personally find abusive.

1.....I find it abusive that people can post awful pictures of you and they seem to get a kick out of it.

2....I think its abusive that I spend over an hour looking at pictures of people I don't even know.

3....I think its abusive that someone can poke you...it just doesn't sound right.

4...I think its abusive that you have to get an E-mail notice for everything on FB.

5....I find some people's status comments abusive.

6...I think its abusive when you try to friend someone you slept with and they don't accept your request.

7...I think its abusive when someone who was awful to you in HS looks great!

8...I find it abusive if you post something about wrinkles that an ad for wrinkle cream pops up on the side.

9...I find it abusive that my 12 year olds friends want me to be their friend...I don't want them to read my shit or see my pictures! My kids might not have friends if I add them.

10...I find it abusive that someone reported my blog abusive when there is real abuse going on in world....put your energy into helping those people

Anyway all this abuse is abuse I choice to do to myself. I have no one to blame but myself for all this FB abuse..but I'm sure as shit not going to report it! Now that I got that off my chest...let me just say these people I live with are abusing me today...please help! I can't even send them to bed since they don't have school tomorrow! Its going to be a long night.

Your not going to be happy!

Friday these people I live with were not at all entertaining so I posted my 40 sucks list. But Saturday was another story. We all slept in till 10;30 because we are all total night owls with the exception of hubby! By this time he has put in about 4 hours at work which he likes to remind me of every Saturday! So Cole has a basketball game that we are all running around like chickens with our heads cut off to get ready for. So we are walking out the door with exactly enough time to get to the game with not a minute to spare. I yell hurry up get in the car!!!!!! So I'm in the drivers seat and there is alittle knock at my window. I roll down the window and there stands Aidan with a very strange look on his face! "Your not going to be happy" he says! Now I have learned with three boys when they say this it is never a good thing. WHATTTTTT NOWWWW I SAY! Aidan looking down says "I farted" I think to myself he would not be telling me this unless he sharted! For those of you that don't know what a shart is its when you fart and alittle shit comes out! I'm thinking FUDGEEEE in my head (well not really Fudge)but I hold it together because no one does this on purpose. Thank God as I'm getting out of the car to clean him up hubby pulls up. So I give him the short version and tell him to hurry up and get Cole to his game. We get fixed up and head to the game.

Later that day I'm taking a epson salt bath because I'm hurting like hell from the Jillian Michael's Wii workout! BTW, I'm doing the best I can with that Wii workout and the chick bitches at you while you do it and pretty much tell you that you suck! Aidan was doing it with me and he said Mommy is that lady yelling at us???!!!!???? No honey not you me! So I'm trying to relax in my nice hot bath and in walks hubby! He says damn your skinny. I look up at him like he's CRAZY! I'm thinking to myself has it been that long since he has seen me naked in full on bright lights or is he trying to butter me up for when he goes in for the kill later! I say What the hell we have been married for 14 years are you just now realizing that I'm skinny????? He says No but you don't really have a muffin top like you like to complain about! It's because I'm stretched out in the tub. I sit up and say look what happens when I sit up!!!! Cat got your tongue cause you ain't saying anything anymore???? No honey you look great as he slowly leaves the room! Never a moments peace in this house I'm starting to think I should get an apartment.

Why it sucks to be turning 40!!!!!

As you all know I will be turning 40 in two weeks! I can't stop bitching about it! It's not that 40 is so bad its that I feel like I was just 30. Life is flying by and I would like it to slow down. I wrote a little list to make you laugh and make myself laugh about turning 40.

WHY IT SUCKS TO BE TURNING 40

1...Your ass has fallin and you can't get it back up......but you wish your husbands penis would do the same.

2...Your beautiful wrinkle free face now have some crows that have taken up space.

3...It takes two days to recover after a fun night of drinking...and when you wake up in the morning you look 5 years older than you should!

4...You scare the shit out of yourself when you get out of the shower and catch a glimse of yourself in the mirror.

5...Your nice flat tummy now has alittle muffin top to it!

6...Your talking to someone thinking damn they look old and you find out they are younger than you!

7...Your idea of a good time is a hot bath, the bachelor, and a good nights sleep.

8...You no longer get all the way naked to have sex!

9...You need to leave yourself sticky notes all over the house so you don't forget to get your shit done.

10...You need laser hair removal round the muff cause the razer just ain't cutting it.

11...Your boobs no longer look like oranges they are starting to resemble pork chops!

12...When you see yourself in a florissant lighted mirror you think I didn't look like that in my mirror and you don't dare go near a magnifying mirror.

13...The dimples that have taken up space on you ass have now invited their relatives to move to your stomach.

Blake Who?

Someone said you haven't written anything about your Blake. BLAKE???? WHO is BLAKE I haven't seen him in months. Blake walks in from school at 5pm hardly looking up from his phone because the text are coming in so fast it would make your head spin! He goes right upstairs to the guitar, the media room, or the computer. I had no idea this would happen in middle school, I knew HS but geez seems early.

Aidan Star of the day!!! NOT

Obnoxious Children!

So today I had every intention of getting up and working out. I get the kids off to school and as usual I lay back down. Wake up at my standard 10am and mess around on the computer. Just as I'm about to get my lazy ass off the sofa and get into my work out clothes the phone rings. My friend Ashley invites me to lunch....hum workout...lunch gee I don't know??? So we head out for our unhealthy lunch and have a great time. BTW, totally kidding about the part when I was getting off the sofa to get in my workout clothes. After lunch I head to the kids school to take some more pictures for the yearbook. Lets just say there are some really obnoxious kids out there...a shout out to all teachers I don't know how you can stand them. I'm careful not to judge or say to much on this matter cause I always seem to eat my words when my kids turn around and do something just as obnoxious. I pick up the kids and while I'm chatting it up with my girlfriends outside of the car I hear the words..FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT coming from my car. Its the two girls I drive home yelling while my two Obnoxious children beat the hell out of each other in the back seat. We head home and I tell them go to the park I don't want to see you! So hubby calls while their at the park and needs a ride home cause his car is in the shop. I drive over to the park and yell for the kids. They emerge from the pond area and Cole looks like a swamp creature he had fallin in the pond. Now don't worry people this pond only has about a foot of water in it. WTF, when can I catch a break, no wonder half the population is on antidepressants.
We drive home get a change of clothes the whole while Aidan the youngest of these people is bitching about having to leave the park. Finally off to get hubby and Aidan says to me "I
was going to get you a birthday present but now I'm not!" My first thought is to pull over and beat his ass, but I don't want to go to jail! I calmly say you might want to rethink that BUCKO since your birthday is two weeks after mine. Boy his tone changed fast after that. So needless to say I had another fabulous day with these people I live with!

Wouldn't it be nice.

Wouldn't be nice to be able to clone yourself for a day! Your clone could do all the shit you don't want to. I seem to be having a hard time getting my lazy ass off the sofa today. I have a million things on my plate. I need to get going on planning my 40th birthday. 40 hum its kinda bullshit, if I hear one more person say 40 is the new 30 I'm going to scream!!!! 40 is the new 30 for Courtney Cox, Jennifer Aniston, and all the other 40 year old movie stars. These people have personal chefs cooking them healthy meals, personal trainers telling them exactly what they need to work on, personal assistants doing all the shit they don't want to deal with, not to mention a ass load of money to go to spas, and on vacations and get alittle botox here and there. So unless I win the lotto or get discovered in the next two weeks 40 will not be the new 30 for me! For you young ones out there enjoy it because it goes fast! I always hated it when people said that but boy it starts to ring true especially when your kids get in school.

So yesterday was my 14 year anniversary now that does not seem to have sped by like some of the other things in my life! I do have a great hubby Thank God, it may have took awhile but he got there. He still gets under my skin from time to time and I know I get under his! But I do have to say I'm proud of us for always sticking out the tough times, marriage is hard and alot of work. Its work that sometimes you just don't want to work at! I actually had my "friend" come visit so I got a get out of jail free card on my anniversary which made for a great night of ugly but comfortable PJ's and TV....couldn't ask for a better night! Funny story well not really kinda horrifying! Cole who is the middle of the people I live with says lets play "truth or dare" . So the game starts out cute and fun. Most people are doing truth because we are at the dinner table! So anyway Aidan the 6 year old says "truth" Cole says did you ever hump a pillow???? At this point I about choke on my food as I have done many times before with this kid. I say what kinda question is that and what does hump mean???? Cole tells me someone at school told him he humped his pillows.....this is when I give a shout out to all the home schoolers out there! So he tells me he doesn't know what hump is....I believe him until his next turn rolls around and he proceeds to ask my hubby if he has ever humped anyone besides mom...yes you heard it right! Now I ain't no dumb ass he definitely knows what hump is but plays stupid again. So we end up having a nice long talk about how you can not say things like that and its just not funny. This kid gives new meaning to the saying "paying for your raising" and he is only 8!

Missing Ella

Monday, Monday

Sunday night I have alittle ritual. I put the kids to bed at 8:30 crack open a beer and catch up on the DVR. I always end the night thinking OK tomorrow is Monday I'm going to get up work out, eat right, and start taking better care of myself. So Monday morning rolls around I get up get the kids ready, cook them breakfast, and send them on their merry way. I think well maybe I'll just lay back down for a minute, 10:30 rolls around and the phone rings waking me from a very delicious dream. It's my hubby on the phone and he wants to meet for lunch, so instead of eating healthy I head out to Torchy's tacos and have a very yummy lunch. I head to the grocery store after lunch to pick up something for dinner. Let me tell you at my age you kinda start to feel alittle invisible, no one really ever gives you a second look or a first one for that matter. No one young and hot that is. I'm in one of the isles and this hot guy gives me a big ol smile. Wow, that was cool 40 might not be that bad. I finish my shopping standing alittle taller with a bit of a spring in my step. I'm at the check out counter anf I look down to get my debit card from my purse and something catches my eye! I look down and there it is my Torchy's taco on the tit!!!....WTF, really???!!!! Anyway I still had to chuckle Torchy's taco or not some ridiculously hot guy looked at my tits today.

Anniversary??!!!??

So my hubby says.....Where do you want to go for dinner???
I say....For my birthday..thats two weeks away
He says....No for our Anniversary!!!!!!!
I think to myself our Anniversary I totally forgot...what the hell am I turning into a dude!
Then I had to think to myself.....how many years is it????? 14 wtf, it seems like 5000.
He can tell that it kinda has slipped my mind and he starts this poor me bullshit, at this point I'm really feeling like a dude. I think us women get a bad rep of being needy and high maintenance but in reality it is the male! They are way more needy than us girls. The conversation really goes south when he asks when I'm going to hit my sexual prime! I think to myself um shit when is that supposed to happen cause I'm definitely not there. I'm tired I'm raising all these boys and the last thing I want to do is give more of me at the end of the day...:) I think is it so much to ask to just be left alone to watch shit TV and chill???!!! Of cource I'm having this conversation all by mysef in my own head. Then I thinking Damn dude how much do you want, he gets it at least once or twice a week.....he needs to sit his ass down and watch Oprah or Dr Oz when they have the couple on that goes weeks without it! I'm also thinking at this time isn't his sexual prime going to put the brakes on???? Hello dude you ain't 18 anymore! Still again this is a whole conversation I'm having with myself in my head! I love when he says "is it so bad that I'm still really attracted to you????" YES that is super sweet but back off dude I got some great reality TV to watch! Anyway I will be married on the 26th for 14 years.....so a shout out to both of us because marriage is alot of fun but a whole lot of work! Note to self......Don't forget the card or there will be hell to pay! Also I won't be getting a get out of jail free card on the 26th! Thank God for DVR!

Ella comes to Austin!

Cole the hot dog