Almost famous

My friends Todd and Laura called and asked if my kids would like to have a small part in a movie. Cole and Aidan want to do it but Blake wants to sit in the house all day and play X-box. We follow Todd out to this guys house who lives by Zilker park. When we get there we pull up to a small house on prime real estate. So we walk into this house that is your typical bachelor pad. The front room which is supposed to house something like a sofa seems to be a storage unit. There is a book shelve in the foyer that instead of displaying pictures and knick knacks holds every 80's and 90's movie ever made. Now there is a small family room and kitchen around the corner. The furniture is all lined up along the walls in there as if it is on house arrest including the kitchen table. So were standing there getting the details for what the kids will be doing in movie when in walks the guys roommate in a striped robe with his hair standing straight up. Mind you it is 3 in the afternoon. He walks past us and gets a bowl of cereal. The only thing going through my mind is I would love to live this carefree life for about a week. I want to live in the bachelor pad that has no signs of a kid ever being there except the nine kids standing in there now. I want to wake up at 3 with my hair standing straight up not because of kids but because of a good sleep. I also want to park my ass on the most comfortable looking 70's sofa and watch all those movies. Then reality slaps me in the face and I think I wonder how many miles that sofa has on it.

This guys bach pad backs up to Barton Springs. We take a nice hike down to where we will be shooting. The bad thing is it is covered with poison ivy, poison oak, and mosquitoes. We end up at this beautiful place on the creek that I had no idea even existed.

There are an array of characters down there. Some of the best people watching I have ever seen. I'm really starting to get that "keep Austin weird" thing. Of course since I am camera girl I have my camera with me.

The kids are having a great time shooting this movie. Notice the juggler in the back round, he is not part of the movie. I'm having a great time walking around checking out all the different people.

We end up at one of those great Austin swimming holes. As you can see from the picture some crazy stuff must go on in this hole.

This is another character who is not part of the movie. His eyes are crazy he is defiantly high on something other than life. There are a ton of young kids all screwed up jumping off this cliff into the water. All I am thinking is I hope one does not hit the rocks. I already need therapy I don't want my kids to need it as well. There are also a bunch of skinny ass young chicks in their string bikinis. Now I won't tell you what I'm thinking about them.

The crazy eyed guy seriously belly flopped into that water. I'm starting to think this whole movie thing was not such a great idea. My kids are seeing and hearing things at this place that belong in a reality show.

It is breathtaking and the water is super cold. I do have to say I have enjoyed all the crazy people out at this hole. I know my youngest will be asking me lots of questions since I can see him taking all this in. Cole is oblivious to everything going on so I don't worry about him.

Cole also has NO fear as he takes a leap off this cliff. I think my heart took a leap when he jumped.

Since my cousin Sherry was in visiting she got to come along on this crazy ride. These people I live with just might be almost famous.

Austin bats

My cousin Sherry and her son Brian came to Austin for a visit. So like a good tour guide I take them to do some fun Austin things. Monday night we went to Town Lake to see the famous bats.

It's always good people watching hanging out at Town Lake. This guy floated by in his blow up boat with his dog.

I do have to say it is beautiful being on Town Lake at sunset. The kids were really good I had no bad thoughts of throwing them in! The car ride was a little interesting but that's normal. They have started doing that annoying punch bug game. Who knew there were so many damn bugs in Austin.

What is with geese they seem to find us everywhere.

My cousin Sherry and me waiting patiently for the bats.

Look at this picture really closely do you see anything wrong?????? Yes he does have different shoes on. I don't know why but Aidan all the sudden wants to wear different shoes ALL THE TIME. I often wonder WHYYYYYYYY??????? I'm all for setting new trends but come on.

Well it's dusk and still no bats. We got here at about 7:45 it's now 9:15.

We have lived in Austin three years now. This is our fourth time waiting to see bats that never show. We give up at ten O'clock and head home.

So today as I ran behind these little human tornadoes I live with. We are only into a week of summer vacation and I'm ready to pull my hair out. I have a few plans, one being I'm going to pick up every drink they leave half drunk and save it. At the end of the day I'm going to put all the drinks together in a pitcher. When they wake up the next day they will not be able to drink anything till they each have a glass of the leftover drinks. See I sound evil and it's only been a week. The problem is they never stop or slow down for a minute. I have heard "MOM" about 500 times today. I have broke up a few fights. I have cleaned up behind them. I have had to tell them how to spell stuff so they can look stuff up on the computer. I almost want to tell them that a beast will come out of the computer screen if they are on it to much. I have listened to them run, scream, and bounce off the walls. I want to SCREAM. They are in my face from the time I wake up till the time I go to sleep. There is NO Mommy free time at all anymore. Do you think I would get in trouble if I duct taped these people I live with mouth's shut for just a bit???

natural disasters

I wasn't woken up to any fighting. I had high hopes for a good day with these people I live with. I started my day going through E-mails. Now I'm going to vent just a little. I hate those damn E-mails you get that want you to send to ten friends or bad shit will happen. Reminds me of the old days when you get those God awful chain letters. Back then I would always do them out of fear. I can usually tell if the E-mail is going that way so I hit delete before I get to the end. There are certain people that I don't usually open their E-mails because they are famous for these. Now I worry enough for ten people so the last thing I need is to worry about something bad happening from not forwarding an E-mail. After I come back from checking E-mails I find Aidan eating cereal on the sofa which is a huge no no. I love it when I bust them and they look at me like I'm the crazy one.

It's approximately 10 am we have already gone through a box an a half, almost a gallon of milk, and a half box of goldfish. It's going to be an expensive summer. My days of being a stay at home mom might be coming to a screeching halt. I can no longer afford these people I live with.

I'm already tired of finding empty cans and chip bags all over the place.

I swear I raise these kids to be better than this. I'm slowly losing control. I'm just going to stop buying these kind of things. When they ask why I will pull out these pictures.

To top the day off they emptied a cabinet in the laundry trying to find something in it. I call them in and ask them if they think there is a little house fairy that will follow them around and clean up. Hubby comes home comes out of the bedroom and says his very expensive watch and ring are missing. I have a feeling the two little guys might know what happened to them. They watched the spy next door and the spy had a spy watch and spy ring. They have been running around all day acting like spies. I go out to the garage and tell the kids I have something to ask them and it's really important that they tell me the truth. I can't use my secret camera trick thanks to Blake busting me. I could strangle him for telling them right when summer started. I tell Cole and Aidan if they tell me the truth about what I'm about to ask them they will not be in trouble at all. I figure this will teach them not to lie. So I proceed to ask if they know where their Dad's watch is. Cole says right away they borrowed it and hid it. I tell them thanks for telling me the truth but they can not take things from other people without asking. They go into the laundry room to get me back the stolen watch and ring. Hubby walks in and blows his top about this. Now everything I just told them about getting in trouble just went right out the door. Now Cole is crying in the corner telling me I lied to him. I try to explain to Cole that it was my fault because I didn't tell hubby that I had already handled the situation. Another case of bad communication between hubby and me. Hello can you say men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Communication seems to be a constant fight even after 14 years of marriage.

Ok, NUFF SAID, by this picture??????????????

Dear God, give me strength

Last night we went to the pond to visit Mr. and Mrs. grumpy goose. We brought bread to feed them and Cole is trying to wave it in front of them so they will be nice. These two think they own the pond and I'm not talking about Cole and Aidan. These damn geese bitch at people walking by. They are crapping all over the place. They will chase you and have even grabbed Blake's friend by the ass one time. I don't know why the boys like to go feed them, they are most annoying to me.

Notice Cole is ready to run since you never know what your going to get with these guys. They kind of remind me of some people I know.

They look cute in this picture but they are actually bitching at us here. Jerks, we brought you dinner you could at least be nice for 5 minutes and make my kids happy.

While feeding the geese we run into this sucker. Yes it is a water moccasin way to close for comfort. These guys are very aggressive and fast. I heard that you need to get a child to the hospital within an hour of a bite. Of course we are running around barefoot out here.

Here are those damn geese stopping traffic in the hood.

The boys are giving the last of the bread to the fish while I'm scanning the area for water moccasins.

The sunset is so beautiful it almost looks like the sky is on fire. When we get back to the house hubby is in the kitchen desperately looking for a peeler. He asks me where it is. My first instinct is to say the same place it has been for the last three years. The longer I'm married the more I realize the key to a happy marriage is to bite your tongue 90% of the time though I'm still working on this. Sometimes it is just to hard to resist. I do tell him where he can find it but of course I'm rolling my eyes when he turns around.

Day 1 of summer vacation. I'm woken up to a fight about a beach ball. I refuse to be a ref all summer so get out of my room and work it out. I start to fall back asleep when Aidan comes in because he burned his waffle. Damn, all I want is thirty more minutes but I get up to make breakfast. It is 10 O'clock now and I have counted five fights. We have only been up for an hour! I'm thinking to myself God, give me strength. Cole breaks a pair of his sunglasses and when he is asked why he tells me they were his and he could do what he wants with them. I look at him like he is crazy and tell him but I paid for them! I then tell him I will not buy him anything anymore if he can't take care of things. I think I'm going to start a tab for these guys it will have a list of all the stuff they mess up with a price next to it. I'm also going to make a list of all the fighting and craziness I have to stop and it's going to have a price for all the therapy I need. My friend calls and it never fails when I'm on the phone one of them makes me look stupid. Aidan was following me around complaining about a dvd not working right. He had no regard to the fact that I was on the phone! Who raised these guys???????? Finally at noon hubby takes Cole and Aidan to the lake. Blake calls to be picked up from a friends house he spent the night at. I pick him up and tell him we are running to the grocery store. On the way he is telling me he pulled an all nighter. They were poking holes in coke cans and shot gunning them. Boy I'm in big trouble in HS with this one. We get to the store and I buy him some chicken wings from the deli so he can eat lunch while I shop. He asks me if he could get a red bull!!!!!!!! Are you kidding me kid have you lost your mind????? I'm still having a hard time getting the image of him shot gunning soda all night. We get in the car to go home, while driving I realize I didn't turn in the ticket for the chicken. I stole the chicken!!!!!!!!! I hate this because I'm to lazy to go back but I fear karma like a crazy women. I try to reason with myself I do give that store almost 300 dollars every week. I will just pay next time I go. The little guys get home from the lake and they are starving. All my kids love those cheap ass noodle bowls so I put one in the microwave for Aidan. I'm in the living room and I'm telling Aidan not to get the noodles out of the microwave since he is clumsy. As the words are coming out of my mouth I hear a huge bang. I go to the microwave and there are noodles everywhere. Aidan has the nerve to tell me he didn't touch them. This makes me more mad than the spill. I guess the noodles just flew there ass out of the microwave all over the floor all by them self. I look at him and ask him if he really thinks I'm that stupid.

I make Aidan help with the noodle cleanup while I add the cost of the noodles to their tab!

Cole and me go for a sunset walk with our dog. I want to go down this path that kind of goes through some woods. He tells me we can't go on that path because that is where the beast lives. Beast what beast are you talking about????? The beast that lives in the woods and eats children he tells me. Let me guess your bother Blake the giant liar told you this. He tells me yes and Blake and his friends even sit on the rock in front of the beast house and try to kill it so he won't hurt anymore children. He's lying to you Cole, there is no such thing as a beast. Cole doesn't believe me, he believes his nasty lying brother. So we argue all through the woods about the beast. Finally I convince him that there is no beast. I need to come up with something good to scare the shit out of Blake.

It starts to get dark and we are still in the woods. Now as you can see the little white glowing eyes in the picture above, these are deer in the woods. It crosses my mind to yell BEAST RUN!!!!!!! That would be way to ugly so I stop myself as fun as it would be. The glowing eyes were a little creepy. Day 1 with these people I live with and I'm ready for a cocktail.

Last day of school is not that cool

Lets just say I couldn't sleep last night which made Cole's 8am party a little hard for me. Being a stay at home Mom means you can not miss these things even if you look like death warmed over. I was a little sad for many reasons. Cole has done great with this teacher and we are going to miss her. The biggest reason I'm sad is the year seemed to fly by, I feel like my kids are growing up way to fast.

Cole doesn't disappoint with his entertaining personality. As much fun as this party is I can't wait to get home so I can lay down for an hour before I go on my next adventure.

Cole had a great time in this class. Very hard to believe he will be heading to the forth grade. When we moved to Austin Blake was in the forth grade.

After I snooze for about an hour I head to the middle school to pick up Blake and his friends. I wait for almost an hour in the pick up line, No joke. I get the pleasure of driving home with four middle school kids who have nothing to say since they are busy text messaging. When we get home Blake and his friend decide to poke fun at me and do my yoga dvd. I don't know why they find this so funny but they are belly laughing through the whole thing. Maybe it's the guy in a speedo with his sausage hanging out. I have felt like crap since I did my yoga on Monday. I don't know if it's weather related or it's the fact that I have been releasing toxins in my body that have been building for 40 years. I think I was much happier eating cheeseburgers, drinking beer and soda.

After my fun with the middle schoolers I head back to school for Aidan's party. Aidan gets an award for being the best artist in his class.

Aidan had a great teacher and he got a little teary eyed when they said goodbye. Aidan is by far my most sensitive child when it comes to things like this. He does not like change so if he gets used to someone or something he likes it to be left alone.

After school we all head to a pool party. Now my octopus cake looks more like a venereal disease. The kids even ask me what it's supposed to be. Thank God it tasted delicious I saved a little face that way.

The day is kind of cold and overcast so we pretty much have the pool to ourselves.

He looks so damn happy about being out of school.

Another happy face! Just wait till they have their own kids, I bet they will not be smiling from ear to ear on the last day.

We finally get home and my neighbor hands them some carrots from his garden. This reminds me that while driving the other day Cole informed me that he has a hard time believing that a giant rabbit goes around dropping off baskets at Easter. As much as I would like to get credit for all the baskets over the years it makes me sad that he doesn't believe. It's all downhill from here for him. First you find out there's no bunny, then that there's no Santa, and worst of all you start to find out how a lot of people pretty much suck. Can you tell I'm in a foul mood because it's the last day of school. After he tells me he no longer believes in the Bunny I ask him about Santa. He tells me of course he believes in Santa. I ask why Santa and not the Bunny. He tells me because of the picture I got of Santa standing in our family room over his toys. I now have to say that overpriced photo shopped picture from Capture the Magic was well worth the money. While at home I tell the kids that they are going to spend the next month in their swim suites because my ass is going to be to worn out to do their laundry. I love to tease them about these kind of things, they are so damn gullible. Blake is overnight at a friends house tonight but if he was here I would be kicking his ass again. Cole told me that Blake told him that I do not have secret cameras all over the house. Now these secret cameras come in handy all the time for me. I tell Cole Blake is a liar. Cole asks me to see these secret cameras. I tell Cole they wouldn't be secret if I showed him. Even though this is a train I knew I was riding way to long I hate that the secret is out. This is just going to make for an even longer summer. Damn I almost wish I liked vodka because I would have a huge vodka tonic to drown my sorrows right now. It's going to be an interesting summer with these people I live with.

It's going to be a long summer

I started my day by meeting Aidan's class for an outdoor picnic. All I have to say is it was hot, hot ,hot! After the picnic Blake came home early because of finals. My days of laying around watching mindless TV are over till further notice. I now have to put on my game face not to mention the referee uniform. Blake brought two girls home with him to hang out with. As nice as it was to have a few girls hanging around the house this is something that's going to take some getting used to. I needed to run to the grocery store and Blake tells me the girls and him will just hang at the house while I go. I politely ask him to come into the other room so I can talk to him. I bring him in my bedroom and ask him if he has lost his mind???? What's the big deal is his answer. This is when I picture myself ringing his little neck in my head. I tell him I'm not letting you and two girls stay here while I go to the store. He then asks me WHY don't you trust me. I tell him yes I do trust you but I don't trust those two girls who look like they are five years older than you. Now I really didn't say that but I did tell him I didn't think the girls parents wouldn't like it if I left them home alone. So off to the HEB we all went. It cracks me up because all the way there and all the way home not one of the three of them made a peep. They all text messaged people the whole time. What the heck is the point of hanging out if they have their nose in the phones the whole time???? I don't get this generation at all. I sound more an more like my parents and that scares the shit out of me.

I went to the store to get stuff to make this cute octopus cake for a last day of school party. While I'm making it I feel like a dog chasing my tail. I keep cleaning up the kitchen over and over. I was really happy that the cake popped out of the pan in tact. I love to cook and I am a good cook. As far as a baker I am not. I try like hell but things never turn out the way I see them in my head.

Well as you can see I messed this shit up bad! This is not what I had in mind at all. Kind of reminds me of an octopus that has been through a tidal wave. While I'm making this mess Cole takes a spoon full of batter. Blake is giving him the business. I tell Blake that he will be a parent some day and needs to save the parenting for his own kids and let me handle mine. He looks at me and says "maybe you should start parenting then". I'm am now looking at him like who the hell are you and where is the alien who sucked your brain out of your head??? We have hit the days of he thinks he knows it all! I'm going to have to brace myself the next few years for these stupid comments that are going to come from him.

Now this is what the pus was supposed to look like. I need to give up this fantasy that I am a baker. I'm just embarrassing myself at this point. Hubby leaves because he is supposed to go out an help with something on the softball fields. I go to the freezer and get my hidden Ben&Jerry's Phish food ice cream. Yes, I admit I hid food in this house, nothing is safe more than a day here. I'm enjoying my ice cream while Facebooking. In walks hubby and he starts laughing at me as he is saying "really" in his I just busted you tone of voice. Whatever he was doing got rained out. Can a girl get no peace with these people????

We are excited because the Black Hawks for doing so good this season. I take this picture to cheer my Dad up since we are all so down about Grandma.

Here is the reason hubby came home early! Storms.......now I'm upstairs getting clothes together for tomorrow when Aidan runs up in a panic and tells me we have to take cover because a tornado is coming. He is in tears because he is a huge worry wart like me. I tell him it's just a storm not a big deal. He tells me Blake told me there's a tornado and our house is going to blow down. Now damn it if I could find that alien who sucked Blake's brain out I would kick his ass right now. I put the news on so Aidan can see it's only a rain storm and calm him down. Then I tell Blake I'm not afraid to kick his ass so he better watch himself.

I have to laugh because Blake is complaining that while he had his so called girlfriends over Cole was telling them every embarrassing thing Blake has done since he was in kindergarten. I have a real hard time feeling sorry for him. I do take the high road and have a talk with Cole. I tell him we are a family and we protect each other, we don't throw each other under the bus. I'm later telling my sister Kelly about this and she feels bad for Blake. I laugh and call her out on this. Kelly used to tell my boyfriends that I sat in the mirror popping zits and that I farted on a regular basis. I remember how many times she throw me under the bus. She has NO room to talk!

Ziggy is a little stressed out over the storm so he spends his night under me hiding! This is not helping Aidan cope at all from the storm.

Here are the two fraidy cats.

So as I'm writing this post hubby says he is going to bed. All the sudden he comes out in his underwear and grabs the fly swatter. I look at him and ask what he is doing. He tells me there are three flies in the house and he does not want them to lay eggs on our food. I say why are they bothering you??? They are not in the bedroom. He tells me if they lay eggs on our food we will get maggots in our stomach and in turn we will get sick. I'm starting to think he may be worst than me as far as hypochondriacs go. It's going to be a long summer with these people I live with