Day two of the Ski trip

I know I just lectured my oldest for being that "hey look at me kind of a guy". Looking at this picture of me I realize the apple didn't fall far from the tree.

So were on day two of our super fun ski trip. Cole and Aidan...aka...dumb and Dumber were in ski school the first day. That made for a most relaxing day. Today not so much.

The only better thing about a ski trip compared to a beach trip is your beer stays really cold. Oh yeah there is the fact that you don't have to sport a swim suit too.

The mountain is breathtaking. The weather is really not bad.

I was glad to be going on this adventure with my friend Ashley because she said she didn't ski. Didn't ski my ass. Look at her! Though she is a little oblivious that she just knocked that person on their ass behind her. So day two she talks me into going skiing. I have only been two times in my life and neither one of those times turned out good. I get my overpriced rental gear and buy my overpriced lift ticket. I tell her there is no way I can go down anything but the bunny. She agrees and off we go. We get in line for the lift which scares the hell out of me. I have never gracefully made it off one of these. When we get to the front she tells the guy to slow it down for me to get on. I get on less than graceful and not so quietly. So up we go. I feel a little sick from the height and the wind is blowing it around a bit. I fear the end where I will have to get off this thing. I really just want to be that asshole that doesn't get off and rides it back down. All I can think is......why the HELL am I doing this?????? I hate to ski plus I suck at it. Were approaching the end and she is yelling at the guy to slow it down so I can get off. I'm just a little embarrassed doesn't help that the guy is not half bad. The guys says....."I can't slow this down, just grab my hand when you get off and I will hold you up". On any other occasion I would have ate this shit up but I'm too scared to care this time. Believe it or not I make it off not exactly gracefully but I make it.

The top of the mountain so truly breathtaking it does kind of make we want to learn to ski. That is for about 5 seconds flat. All of the sudden I realize this is NO bunny hill. I look over at Ashley who happens to be laughing her ass off and say......WHAT THE HELL IS THIS. She looks at me and says...."oh, you will be just fine", in her sweet Texas voice. Sweet my ass, this girl snowed me. I fall shortly after we start down the mountain. I can't get up, it's freakin hard to get up in all this get up. Ashley is standing there laughing at me when some guy comes to my rescue. Now if I were single this would be the place to pick up guys for sure. I get back up and we make it down this first little hill not gracefully but made it. It's nice for a while because it is flat, I think....this isn't half bad. That is until we come to the next hill that pretty much drops down to nothing. I look to my right and if I take off that way I could end up falling down a cliff. I tell Ash I can't do this. She is my cheerleader telling me I will be fine. I stand there for a few minutes No adrenaline is running through my veins it's pure fear. By the way I blame Mom..aka....Debbie for all this fear. It's all the years of freak accidents stories that she has filled my head with. She hates when I blame her for stuff. Sorry Debbie this one's on you. We start down and I stay to the left. At first I am doing alright. I start to lose it though. All I can hear is Ash yelling PIZZA. Instead of PIZZA I lean back, my ski's are straight and away I go. I'm yelling the whole time. I finally crash into some slushy ass mud. Ash comes down behind me laughing her ass off. I'm only half way down this super steep hill. I tell her there is no way I'm skiing down the other half. There she stands laughing as I am literally scooting down on my ass trying to push my way down with the poles. This is really hard to do by the way. I really want to kill her right now. All she keeps saying is....."I wish I had a camera".

I get almost to the bottom and she talks me into trying again. She tells me to ski over to her. I get up not so gracefully. I look like one of the hula dolls from the seventies that people used to sport in their cars. Once again she is like "ski over towards me".

I start over towards her and I lose it again. Next thing I know our ski's in locked together, yes we are still standing. Our bodies are facing each other and we are laughing our asses off. When I say facing each other I mean facing each other it looks like we are a couple about to make out on the mountain. We can't move because if we do we will fall. We can't stop laughing our asses off. I don't think I have laughed that hard in forever. I know we looked ridiculous. So we can't catch our breath because we are laughing so hard that we both wet our pants. All I have to say is this is another fine example of how bad it sucks to get old not to mention wet ski pants suck. After five straight minutes of non stop laughing she finally pushes her way off me. I recompose myself and think I need to get the HELL off this mountain.

The final hill puts us in another section that scares the piss out of me. It is where all the hills come together and there are skiers everywhere. I PIZZA all the way down and make it without a fall. I kick my ski's off beat the shit out of Ash in the snow and go get a beer. Now that last sentence is bullshit but don't think I wasn't thinking it. At least I can say I went down something besides a bunny hill.

Now I did not pump fear into this child I raised as Debbie did me. He snowboards down double black diamonds with no fear. No offence Debbie but there are somethings I did better as there are somethings you did better. Don't think I don't fear for him though. I just keep it to myself. Day two of this trip and only saw this one a handful of times.

Speaking of Debbie she is a regular reader of the blog. That is thanks to my twisted sisters brother in law who put an icon on her computer so she can go right to it. She used to only read when she came to visit and I could maneuver her to the entries that I wanted her to read. Today I'm checking my E-mail and I see that she has commented on one of my entries. I know this is not going to be good cause she is a little sharp with her tongue. On one of my last entries that was about our road trip to our ski vacation. I say I was fantasizing about my millionaire boyfriend and me on the beach. She says....Your millionaire boyfriend would have dumped your 41 year old ass for someone in their twenties. This means you are stuck back living with Grumps and Debbie! Ha ha Debbie, really funny! Now the funny thing is she thinks she posted this for the world to see. She did something where it only notified me through E-mail. Computer savvy she is not. Thank God, she would totally be throwing me under the bus in this blog if she knew what to do. Love you Debbie........just sayin! BTW, I learned everything from watching you!

While doing this entry tonight Blake came down to make himself a few hot dogs. He is standing in front of the fridge with it open saying......."Where are the buns"? I tell him they are in the fridge. He looks at me and says....."Where"? Seriously kid????? You want me to get up and look for the buns that you are in front of the fridge looking at?????? I tell him I think he is perfectly capable of finding them. Guess what he found them. So he sits across from me eating his third dinner of the night. His phone is beeping as if it's an alarm clock. He has text messages coming in at world record speed. He finishes, gets up and says..."Where's my black shorts"? I tell him the laundry room in the clean basket. He goes in there unable to find them. All I can think is REALLY KID????? Is this some kind of joke, can he really be this helpless. What have I done wrong??????? I tell him if I go in there and find those shorts his phone his mine. Guess what....he finds them. So he's standing there and I ask him a question not once but three times and get the same "WHAT" response. I look over at him and ask him if he is up in his room sniffing glue. He laughs and says he hates the smell of glue. Kids been home the last two days all locked up in his room. He only comes down to eat. He seriously acts like someone who has been up there sniffing glue! JUST SAYIN!