Three boys, one Dog, one grumpy old man, and one overthinking Mama head to Chicago.

I know it's been a while since my last post but it's been a very busy summer. I don't really know where to start. On June 27th we took a very long drive to Chicago! My wonderful Dad flew in so he could help us make a 19 hour drive from Austin to Chicago. I must say he must love us to take this kind of trip with us. We were supposed to leave at 7am Sunday morning. Of course we weren't even up and moving at 7am. This was just one of the many things that did not go as planned. We ended up leaving at 9:07am. I will give you a little timeline of how the start of the trip went.
10:15 = Cole has to pee even though we told him we were not making pee stops every
hour on the hour. Just another fine example of how kids don't hear a damn thing
you say!
10:35=Aidan is starving and is going to die if he does not eat right away!
10:40=McDonald's
11:15= In front of the red box at McDonald's! I love red box for road trips.
11:19=On the road again. My Dad and I are discussing how we are going to drive as long
as we can so we can get most of the trip behind us.
2:15=We realize we are in Arkansas and we are supposed to be in Oklahoma. This is
not horrible since you can go through Arkansas to get there, it just adds more
time to the trip. I still to this day don't know how we ended up that way. Let me
just say I was not the one driving.

2:20=The dog looks half dead from the doggy Zanex I fed him. I must say I'm panicking slightly but I'm not saying anything. I really don't want to scare the kids. I keep looking back at the dog, the sad thing is he reminds me of some of my drunk friends. He has that dazed and confused look about him. His eyes are all glassed over, it's really freaky. I keep acting like I'm petting him while checking his pulse. I'm thinking surely the vet would not give me something that would kill the dog! Every once in a while his head pops up and his eyes roll back in his head and he passes right back out! I do think I have had a night or two just like this!

3:41=we stop for some gas. On our way off the highway the car does this little puttering thing. I'm a little freaked but my Dad is very calm about this. I forget that for a while because I can't help but wonder what the doggy stoner pill would do to me or better yet the kids! Just another example of having to much time to think about stupid shit.

4:30=The car is puttering again but it is getting much worst. BTW, just had this car in the shop to get checked out from top to bottom for this trip! My Dad still seems relatively calm about the whole thing.

5:15=Dead on the side of the road! Not only are we dead on the side of the road but we are on a two lane highway in Arkansas. The semi trucks are speeding by us. I have to say I have the instinct to run as far as I can away from the car. I just know a semi truck driver is going to fall asleep at the wheel and smash us. I can be a bit on the dramatic side but I think anyone would be scared at this time. You can feel my car move every time a truck goes by. We sit there for a bit and my Dad tries to restart the engine. We are moving but God help us if we have to go up hill. We can not get over 30 miles a hour! Mind you the semi trucks are still blowing by us! Kind of wishing I looked like the dog right now.

5:35=We roll and I mean roll into a cheap roadside motel. I get out of the car hoping they take dogs. When I get out there is a twenty dollar bill laying in the parking lot. I think maybe my luck is changing. Not really feeling so lucky about now.
6:00=We are checking into this cheap motel. There is a McDonald's pretty much in the parking lot, mind you that's what we had for lunch. I give my Dad the twenty and tell him to walk across to the gas station to get us some beer.

6:21=Dad comes back from the gas station empty handed. We are not only stranded in a dry county but Arkansas does not sell beer on Sunday! All I can think about is football is on Sunday, what if they run out??????

7:38=Dad getting a little grumpy and seems to be splashing his face with cold water from time to time. I don't know if it's from the fact that we have no beer or if it's the fact that he realizes his oldest has raised the biggest shit heads known to man. We still have one half dead looking dog. I'm starting to think the dog got the better end of this deal.

8:15=Remember the story of the monkeys jumping on the bed???? We have two shit heads jumping on the bed in a hot small roadside motel!
8:21=Two shit heads fighting over the bathroom in the cheap, hot, roadside motel. Now one is picking up the motel phone pretending to call the cops on his brother. One trying to feed the half dead looking dog a treat. One grumpy old man getting grumpier by the minute and one really hot room.
8:53=scrunched in a queen size bed with two stinky kids and one stoner dog. Grumpy old guy and my oldest in the bed next to us.

8:58=Watching the Kardasian's wondering why men love whiny dramatic women????

9:15=Hubby calls and can't help but jab me about driving since he wanted us to fly. I'm still cramped in the bed and I'm not really in the mood for a cheap shot right now. What is it about kids that they sleep like a fish out of water anyway?????

9:26=As I fight for covers and a small portion of the bed I'm thinking why the hell didn't we get two rooms???? BTW, all I can smell is stinky feet right about now.

10:06=Had to turn off the TV so everyone could sleep. This is big for me since I never go to bed before 1am. So I'm laying there with two floppy ass kids and a sixty pound dog laying across my feet! I'm still pulling the covers as if I was playing tug-a-war! A giant fart comes from the other bed. I'm unsure if the fart came from the grumpy old guy or the I know everything teenager. I'm just thinking please God let them fix the car fast or send me a hot vampire right away!

12:15=I wake up filled with anxiety! I think to myself I don't have time for this now. I try to go back to sleep.

6:15=Grumpy old guys takes the car to the dealership! He wants to be the first one there so we can get the hell out of here! I must say I know I'm calling my Dad a grumpy old guy but thank God he was with us. He spent hours sitting in the dealership waiting for the damn fuel pump to get fixed! I couldn't ask for a better grumpy old guy!

1:05=Dad comes back with the fixed car! We stop at the gas station and I get the kids some snacks, some drinks, and I buy myself a scratch off ticket. I'm just sure I'm going to win big after my night, it's the least God can do for me. Can you tell by the picture that the stoner dog has had enough as well???

I did give the dog another one of those pills for the rest of the trip. He lays half dead in the back of the car. I can't help but be slightly jealous. I dose off for a bit dreaming about the could of, should of, would of kind of things! I'm dreaming or shall I say fantasizing about being on an island with my half dead billionaire hubby. Then I'm dreaming about being on the bachelorette with 25 crazy guys fighting for my love! I'm waken up by the sound of bickering in the back seat. I look back and as crazy at it sounds I think I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Here I am with the grumpy old guy, three shitheads, and a stoner dog!

I end up in the backseat watching a movie thinking I should have rode back here the whole trip. Let me say these kids have it made! We stop at Applebee's to eat. I let the grumpy old guy have a few beers there. We get back on the rode. I put grumpy old guy in the back to watch TWILIGHT! I want him to get what I'm taking about. To my surprise he likes the movie. I knew I liked this grumpy old guy.

We finally get in after midnight on Monday night to shy town! Not what we planned but thank God I had the grumpy old guy with me. More to come with these people I live with soon!