Saturday, August 14, 2010

A hawt mess at the Cubs game

My cousin Chelsea took me to the Cubs game on the 4th of July. We left my house around 10am to drive to the L train. We got downtown around 11am and ended up in The Captain Morgan's Club. I am by no means a daytime drinker, but here I am drinking beer before noon. It's all down hill from here let me tell you. Daytime drinking and I never seem to mix.
The people watching is always great downtown. Now please when this girl looks in the mirror is she blind or ignorant???? All I can think of is WHY???????

We have great seats at the Cubs game. We have a nice shaded stop which is even better! BEER PLEASE!
I couldn't resist taking a picture of these overpriced but very yummy nachos.
We are sitting next to these guys who just turned 21. They pull a water bottle filled with whisky out of their pants. I can't believe they got it in because security is pretty tight at these games. I guess the security guy must have just thought these guys were hung really well. They were young but we had a good time hanging out with them during the game. There were three gay guys sitting in front of us that were smokin hot. When I first sat down I thought great I'm at the cubs game drinking beer without my kids sitting by some eye candy! What more could I ask for???????......How about some straight eye candy!
Feeling No pain at this point! Unfortunately the Cubs lose. What do we do???? Of course we head back to the Captain Morgan's Club. Were at the point where another drink sounds like a good idea.
We do a little bar hopping! We run into a few characters along the way.
My favorite bachelor who lives downtown meets up with us. We are way ahead of him at this point.
Once you go bear you never go back! Talk about hung.

Yes, I will take another beer! I'm not acting stupid enough yet.
Thank God we have sunglasses on in this picture. I'm pretty much cross eyed at this point. We finally get asked to leave this little bar because we are visibly drunk. Not my finest moment. We stumble over to the L train. The guy that works there tells us we are to drunk to ride the train. Seriously I thought the train was for people that wanted to drink and not drive. We go out front and I get us a cab. The cab driver turns off his meter when we get in the car because he is about to rip us off! We ask him to take us to the next L rain station. He charges us 25 dollars for a five minute ride up the street. We finally get on the L train. I feel a sense of relief come over me. I'm to old for this and I'm ready to call it a night. While on the train I talk to everyone around us because I am a big stupid shit talker when I drink to much. I manage to attract a guy I could have given birth to at 18. He wants me to come to a party with him. I tell him hell no.....your half my age. His cheezy ass response is "I will just call you Mrs. Robinson." Well let me tell you something lame brain, you ain't going to pick up many women with lines like that! When they call the next stop I'm starting to sober some and realize we got on the red line train. We are supposed to be on the blue line. I drag my cousin off the train and find someone who can tell us how to get on the right train. The guy says we have to go all the way back downtown and start over. At this point I just want to get home...I feel more deflated by the minute. Now my Dad has been calling me since about 3 O'clock asking when I'm going to be home. Yes, he may have forgotten his daughter is 40! Every time I talked to him I had every intention of leaving in an hour. Never happened of course. My IPhone died during this time so he is pretty irritated since he is still calling and he thinks I'm just ignoring him. Right before my phone died I text hubby and told him we got kicked out of a bar and weren't allowed on the train. So I'm standing there thinking I do not want to go all the way back Downtown and start this mess over again. I know damn well if we do start over we still can't drive from the train station home. So I have put my 40 year old tail between my legs and call my Dad from my cousins phone to come get us. He picks up the phone and immediately starts complaining about the fact that he has been trying to call me and I was ignoring his calls. I'm really feeling like I'm back in HS at this point. Then he starts complaining about the fact that I'm so drunk I got kicked out of a bar and the train. I ask him how the heck he knew that. Hubby called him to throw me under the bus! I ask my Grumpy old man to come get us. He of course gets right in his car to come get us. I call hubby and ask him why the hell he would tell my Dad such things about me. He tells me it's because he was trying to call after I sent him that and couldn't get me. He panicked that something bad happened so he called my Dad. I get that but for God's sake I don't really need my Dad to know I got kicked out of the bar. I still have him snowed a little bit, he does not know about my evil twin sister. I hang up with hubby and I'm standing there feeling a little sick. I'm not feeling sick because I drank to much it's because I'm scared of the Grumpy old guy coming to get me. He pulls up and I'm scared to get in the car. I'm totally rethinking this calling him thing. To my surprise he is super cool. We have to drive my cousin back to her house. I'm trying not to say to much at this point to the not so Grumpy old guy in fear I will slur the words. It is a long drive home. My Grumpy old guy does tell me he is glad I called for a ride. We finally get back to my parents house. I walk in and my sister is sitting there with a shit eating grin on her face. Even though we are grown women now, we still seem to take pleasure in seeing the other one in trouble with Dad. I'm just glad to be home!

I come home to these guys waiting up for me. My evil twin bought them these cute hats while drunk downtown. They seem to be a hit. I'm glad The Grumpy Old guy is one of the people I live with this month.

2 comments:

Kelly said...

Great pictures. I was the one sitting at mom and dad's house having to listen to them bitch about what the hell you are doing downtown for 10 hours. Ridiculous!

Janice said...

Kicked out of a bar? How drunk were you? We have been really drunk together, but have never been kicked out of a bar (that I remember anyway)! Bet Joe was proud!