No where to go!!!!!

The house sold and we have no where to go. I guess you can call us homeless. Hub's and I can't seem to agree on anything! The last time and only time we moved with three kids and a dog it was a company move. Hub's company paid for the move and even sent people to pack us. It was great! I didn't pack a thing. I didn't even like moving when I didn't have a bunch of shit. This is not going to be fun at all. I walked around my house today appreciating everything about it for the first time in years. This is such a beautiful home. It has a beautiful view. I'm really going to miss it. There are so many things I love about it, like the window over the kitchen sink. The stonework. The shutters that I did things for that we will not talk about on here. The tall ceilings and the floor to ceiling windows. Oh how I will miss this place. It's a bitch to keep clean though. My asshole neighbor just sold his house too. That would make this house even better. Woe is me.....

Hub's wants to move us in a trailer while we build a house we can't agree on. Yes, I did just say trailer. Stop your laughing all you people who know me well. I fear that a storm will come lift me away in that trailer. And I wonder why Aidan is such a worry wort. I remember the first time I stepped foot in a trailer. Well I had been in vacation trailers in Wisconsin but never residential trailers. Hub's and I had been married a few years. Blake was just a baby. Someone we worked with invited us to their party. So we got a sitter and had a night out. When we pulled up we pulled up to a trailer park. I said to Hub's..."Do they live here". He laughed and said "yes". They gave me a tour. It happened to be a double wide. I was surprised at how nice it was. I remember commenting on how nice it was. Hub's pulled me aside to tell me I was being insulting. I said.."I just gave them a compliment. He said...."You sounded shocked that the double wide was this nice". I told him I was but I was not trying to insult them. That was one of the funnest parties I had ever been at. All the other people living in the trailers came over with chairs and we made a bomb fire. We went trailer to trailer hanging out. When someone would disappear we would go hunt them down in the trailer and make them come back out. We found one guy passed out by the propane tank at the end of the night. I laughed so hard I might have peed.  I thought it seemed like a blast to live in a trailer park after that party. Now that I have three kids, a dog, and Hub's it seems a little too close for comfort. I may be all for it if I can have my own trailer.


Back to moving........I'm overwhelmed by all the shit in my house. Hub's wants me to sell everything. There are some things I'm attached to though. He says there dated. I say they are timeless. Maybe I could sell him! Oh wait I need him to pay for the new house. Hub's always says he just wants me to be happy. I call BS, he just wants me to be happy if I'm agreeing with him. He says I always get my way but I do have a leather sofa in my family room I hate. Just saying!!! This is probably the worst time of the year to be moving. When I put my house on the market I thought I would have sold it before school started back. I had no intention of trying to move during football and baseball season. Right now Hub's is on the sofa watching Forest Gump for at least the 100th time since it came out. This is why I'm blogging on a Saturday night. We are an exciting Gruesome twosome. The little guys pigpen and Drama are sleeping at friends houses......The house has been really quiet. My Mom says I will miss the noise someday. Tonight it seems like a slice of heaven. I don't think she is right.  I have been known to eat my words on way more than one occasion. They taste shitty by the way! Blake the not so charming prince has hung around hub's and I all night. He even talked to me about girls and school. I'm shocked at the man is becoming right before my eyes as I blink. I wonder if something is wrong with him! Maybe he secretly really does like me. But I think he is entertained by all our bickering over house crap. We have kind of been like Tom and Jerry since the house sold. Well we have always kind of been like Tom and Jerry. I say that in the most loving way really!!!!! Remember Tom and Jerry fought but they always lived together. I feel I'm digging this grave bigger at this time. So I will stop there. I am trying to say Tom and Jerry had a love-hate relationship. They couldn't live without each other.....Wait that doesn't sound any better. I'm really stopping now!


Last night I couldn't sleep to save my life. Being wide awake in the middle of the night sucks. I watched shit TV. I watched Grey's and private practice. I was shocked at both. Damn it if they didn't kill the hot guys off! At 2:00 I was still wide awake. So I slept in this am. I sleep great between the hours of 3-11. I really do hate that about me. Hub's was calling around ten....I was sending it to VM. At 11 he text me.....It's 11 for God's sake get up! I don't know why he cared. He was at work. Jealousy maybe. I was busy dreaming. I dream the craziest shit in the morning. I just heard if you dream a lot you have a high IQ! I think I should be making some mean money in that case.  It rained all night last night. For some reason rainy weather effects my MS. I don't know why it does but I feel like I have a bug when it rains. Every part of my body aches. It always freaks me out when that happens. So I spent my day in panic mode because these are the days when I realize this shit is for real. I like to pretend it's not real. I'm an ignorance is bliss gal and rainy days rain on my ignorant bliss kind of day.

In four short weeks I have no idea where life is going to take me. I don't know where we will be living. I really kind of want to move home till every thing is done. That is back to Chicago without these people. My parents might die since my brother, sister, niece, and their dog are living back home now. I cook though! I may just be the favorite after years of trying....since they came along. It is probably because they see me the least and I cook good now! So I said the little guys were overnight...I just got a text that Aidan is freaking and I have to get him......It's 1:30...woe is me, I knew better! I'm back just picked Aidan up. I asked him what happened...He says.."I couldn't sleep because you weren't there". How many times would you have loved to hear something like that from the person you couldn't get??????  What do I say to something like that when it's your kid???? I want him to enjoy his life without having to worry about stuff like that. As an Irish Catholic mom...aka..guilty mom.....I feel pure guilt. Wondering what I did to make him so afraid of EVERYTHING!!!!! I really do pray every night for God to take the worry away from this little pigpen guy I love so much! Sorry I'm too tired to proof read and I am in fact not a writer! This is just my on line venting diary! I do find it kind of sad that I'm watching the soap channel wide awake wanting to slap some girl....Hello Kerry this shit isn't real!!!!!!!!! Anyway...more to come with these people I live with!

BLOW ME!

Not only do I smile when I look at this picture. It represents my mood in so many ways today! So I got all three kids out the door this am with little problems. I stayed up way too late last night reading....blow me! I just like to say that even if I have nothing to blow! It's just the kind of mood I'm in. I went back to bed for a nap....blow me! Hub's called while I was napping and I hit send it to VM. Hub's text...we have an offer on the house.....Blow me. This was his idea to sell the house in the first place. I call Hub's and he says...It's  low but we need to let them know our bottom number. The thought of moving twice makes my head spin...so blow me! We let them know our bottom number! They want us out in two weeks....are you kidding...blow me! Blake has a football game an hour and a half away. After getting everyone from school I realize we will not get to his game in time. We stop for food...the little guys hate it....blow me! The junior varsity is playing in town and the little guys want to go so I take them. They have lots of friends there that are going to What-a-burger right after. We already ate the food they hated but we are still not going. Cole complains in the car over and over about not going. I'm mad because I did not even have to take them to the JV game but I did it to be nice....So blow me! He is that kid that talks out loud about what is annoying him to bother me! So all the way home he is talking out loud about his friends being at What-a-burger. He is saying things like....he is the only one not there and I'm the worst mom ever. He is also talking about how his friends are eating burgers while he starves to death....because I starve my kids! Please...blow me! We get home and low and behold the homework they said was done was not! Are you kidding me????? Blow me! I finally get the little guys to bed. Hub's goes next door to have a beer with our neighbor. I get in my PJ's ready to watch all the "new" shows. I get a call from Hub's that says....you need to grab a beer and come next-door. I'm like...I'm in my PJ's are you kidding me....blow me! He says our neighbor is in her PJ's so grab a beer and get over. So I grab a beer and go over. Only to find out that our guy called to say they excepted our bottom price. Shit...blow me! We have no where to go....so blow me! Now I have to cancel going to my godchild's wedding in two weeks in Chicago so I can pack and find a place to live...blow me again! He happened to be my ring bearer at my wedding 17 years ago....Oh my, where do the years go????? I crazy hate to miss this....blow me again! I begged him to let me be the flower girl in his wedding as a joke...because I'm that girl. I'm super sad because this was kind of my dream house. Hub's doesn't get it. I'm attached to the house, he is not. We are already fighting about what to get rid of and where to go. If we make it through this not divorced we can make it through anything. A new adventure is coming for us, one that I'm unsure of. Hub's reasons for moving are valid even though they are a thorn in my side. In the long run I think it will be great. Damn it..all I can think after this day is....BLOW ME!

The dog loves his bed...NOT

 Today I woke up at 8am! Aidan needs to be at school at 7:30! Oh yes and the bus comes for the others at 7:50. So I woke up in panic mood. This is never a good way to start your day. I shot out of bed like I was being shot out of a cannon. Running and screaming up the stairs.....yelling GET OUT OF BED I OVERSLEPT!!!!!! I set my damn alarm but I suspect I turned it off in my sleep. This is never a good way to wake the kids up either. We all scrambled and got ready in ten minutes. Eating breakfast in the car. I dropped Aidan off first. I told him I couldn't walk him in because I had to get his brothers to school in time. I told him to tell the nice lady we overslept. In truth I did not want to do the walk of shame into the school. I managed to get Blake and Cole to school in time. Thank God football is after school on Wednesdays.

I had rented that movie "The Lucky One" last night. I never got around to watching it. I ended up watching it today. Now I'm totally crushing on Zak Efron....even if I'm old enough to have birthed him. While watching it the dog laid on my ottoman......even though I got him that great dog bed. In the picture you can see the dog bed under the TV.

 The dog again....with the empty dog bed in the background.

 I decide I'm going to try and show the dog how comfy his bed is! Aidan turns the tables on me. He grabs my camera and gets a picture of me while he laughs.....SAYING..."I got you". I don't care because I can kind of be that hey look at me girl at times. Most times no one is looking though.

 It worked the dog is in his bed!!!!!

 Blake was working hard on his homework tonight. I had to get a picture of this. He complained and put his hand up. Then he says....."now don't go putting this on Facebook". This cracks my ass up because the boy puts pictures of himself on facebook all the time.

 After the kids are supposed to be in bed I walk up into the office. Something catches me eye. Surprise, surprise, Aidan is out of bed jacking around. Can't a girl get a little peace around here??????

Now to my a bad day just gets badder story!!!!!! I get settled to watch TV.....I know your shocked! I'm really excited because the new shows all started back up this week. I never saw a modern family that didn't make me laugh out loud! If this blog starts to lag you know why! I'm busy watching TV. Something catches my eye again. There is a giant fooking ass roach on the wall. Oh, and I did mean to say fooking. It's a reinvention for the "F" word! I totally copied it from someone. If there is anything in the world I hate it is bugs....especially big ass fooking ones. So I scream and jump up like a two year old. I start to rub my skin as if there are more on me because I'm seriously getting the hebie jebies. I know that's not how you spell that but I don't feel like "googling" it. Hub's is in bed because he's tired from his golfing I mean business trip. I tell him there is a giant fooking ass bug on the wall. He says...."Kill It". I tell him I can't. It's so big in my head I have imagined myself trying to swat it and it falls on me still alive....Hebie Jebies...again. I find myself brushing my skin again while I talk to him. He looks at me and says..."Seriously?". I tell him to please come kill it! He should be happy I need him for something instead of complaining about it. I thought men liked to be needed for stuff. I guess after 17 years of marriage he does want to be woken up to save me from the big ass fooking bug. He gets up of bed mumbling something under is breath. He's probably mumbling I'm the love of his life...NOT. He walks out there kills the sucker and heads off back to bed saying...."I wish you'd quit leaving the doors wide open, see what happens?" In my head I'm doing the naaa naa naa naaa boo thing saying I'm not your fooking child so stop talking to me like I am. Now growing up with Deb Downer when things like this would happen she would say..."Where there is one they have a family somewhere in the house". I keep wondering where the rest of these suckers are. Deb's voice is in my head saying this over and over. To the point where I say...."shut up Deb". I can't stop itching and I can't stop wondering how many family members are around. I just know I'm going to be having bug nightmares tonight because that is just what happens to me. This is why I never watch scary movies. An overactive imagination is not a gift. An overactive metabolism is a gift...just saying! I just can't seem to get those giant antennas out of my head. I feel sick to my stomach like I could barf. This is how much I hate bugs. I just gave the dog a treat. While digging it out of the bag I pictured one of that things family members in the bag. It's antennas touching me! See what I mean about an overactive imagination. Anyway....I need to go so I don't oversleep again! So good night don't let the giant ass fooking bugs bite!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I ever tell you the dog is my favorite?????

 The poor doggy! Last night while mom and I were downstairs cleaning the aftermath of the human tornadoes. Aidan was upstairs playing dress up with the dog! The dog came running down with a deer in headlights look on his face. Before I yelled at Aidan for scarring the dog for life I had to get some pictures!

 Look at the poor babies face!!!!! Last night I couldn't fall asleep to save my life.

 I had every intention of doing naked bed angels since Hub's is away. The dog wanted to sleep with me though. I never get to snuggle with the dog. Hub's has a strict no dogs in the bed policy. I got in some PJ's and let the dog in. He didn't want anything and he didn't snore. Life was good. I have had worst dogs in my bed. I wish I had a no dog in my bed policy in my early twenties. It would have saved me some much needed therapy. 5:15 came way too early after not being able to fall asleep. I left the house at 6:45 to take Blake and his friends to football practice. I still had my PJ's on, I had not brushed my teeth, or brushed my hair. I kind of looked like last night's left overs. Blake and his friends played some underground Drake music while we took a long dark drive into Drip. They didn't say a word but their heads bobbed to the music. After I dropped them off I got back home at about 6:10. I fell back asleep and woke up in at 7:10 in a panic. I needed to get Aidan to school at 7:30 and have Cole ready to walk out the door as soon as I got back. Oh, when I begged Hub's to get pregnant over and over I did not picture this in my head. I picked up Cole and headed back to Drip for the second time before eight am in the morning.

I'm reading three books right now. I have self diagnosed myself with ADD because of things like this. The first book is "bared to you".....a little bit of Mommy porn! The second is "cleaning house, A Mom's 12 month experiment to rid her home of youth entitlement, and the last is "Let's pretend this never happened". I gave the first book the" mommy porn" to my neighbor because I promised it to her and I've been dragging ass reading it. She can read a book in three days. This is really the busiest time of the year for me. The second book I just can't seem to get through. It's a great book, really well written. The problem is it doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It makes me feel bad about myself. Remember I'm an ignorance is bliss girl. I also grew up Irish Catholic so there is that whole guilt thing I struggle with. This book is loud and clear about all the things I'm not doing right. I don't like that! I'm about half way through it. I will finish it but in small doses! To be frank the damn book overwhelmed me. I only wished she wrote it while I was pregnant. Like I said before I will be buying every pregnant women I know one. It should be a bible for anyone having kids. The last book, "Let's pretend this never happened" came to me from a friend. I really was not planning on reading three during football and baseball season. She gave it to me because it is written by a blogger like me. Well kind of. She is much funnier than me. She has a blog called the "bloggess". If you enjoy reading this blog you will crazy love this book. I'm only through the first four chapters because I have had house guest. It is rude to read while you have house guest so "they" say. I read a little before bed the other night. I really did laugh out loud to the point of tears while reading it. She talks about how her writing is all over the map like mine. She cusses a lot so it's not for people without a sense of humor. So far her stories are about her messed up childhood. As I write this I'm laughing out loud about her story of the magical talking squirrel. Lets just say her Dad was  a taxidermist and he had that dead magic squirrel up his arm with the fresh blood dripping down his arm.  He is using it as a puppet to entertain his very young children. Anyway the point to all this is while driving around I had an Awww haha moment....."books on audio".

My mom left today. We had a great visit. With her came Chicago's famous Garrett's popcorn. My fingers may still be orange. She always buys me something I love but don't need. This time it was a giant medal Halloween pumpkin. I love it. With her always comes a waaaa, waaaa, waaaa, story. This is why I nicknamed her Deb Downer. She had a story about a guy who killed his wife and chopped her up and cooked her. Gross right??? Who wants to hear that shit! Unless it is someone you know. It's funny because I spent six weeks by her this summer. I totally should have been blogging during that visit. Laziness took over though. One night the whole family was at the dinner table. Mom...aka...Deb says...."Did you hear that story about". My sister interrupts her and says....."Who dies in this story?". I did laugh out loud! I don't even remember the story but I'm sure a tragic death was involved.

After I dropped Mom off at the airport. Aidan who is in the car says...."If you could only pick one kid to save from death who would it be?". I think why do kids ask these things! I tell him I couldn't possibly pick. He says..." You have to pick otherwise we all die and you are left alone". If I smiled would you judge????? I hope you know I'm kidding! I ask him if the dog is included in the pick???? He laughs and says "NO, MOM"! I tell him again I could never pick. He will not let it go! I finally say I would have to think long and hard. I tell him I would have to pick the one who would be the most responsible adult and be someone I would feel comfortable with throwing out there on their own. So far non of them measure up to this. He assures me it would be him and gives me many reasons why the others should be put to death. I do laugh.

After the airport we have time to shop before Cole and Blake get home. While shopping with mom this weekend I spotted a dog bed. Did I ever tell you the dog is my favorite person in the house???? Anyway I really wanted to get the dog this bed. I had a check I needed to cash for doing someones family pictures. It was about the price of the bed and then some. So we headed to World Market. We got the bed and about ten dollars worth of chocolate because we were hungry and they have crazy good chocolate! I'm sad that I have zero self control but it is what it is! I have the attitude that life is short live it to it's fullest and eat lots of chocolate! Unfortunately catholic guilt gets in the way. So we get the bed home. I'm really excited because in seven years the dog has never had this nice of a bed. I put it down and lay in in hoping the dog will follow. He looks at me as if I have three heads! The same way I feel when I get the kids something I think they will love and in my mind the outcome is much better.

So here is the sad story......great frickin dog bed....best ever! It sits alone while the dog takes up space on my ottoman. While writing this though the dog is in the dog of all dog beds and he looks quite comfortable. I think he may like it!

 Every night I go to bed praying I will wake up a different person. The one that wants to work out and eat right. I guess God is not hearing me or I'm not hearing God! Every day I deal with overachievers telling me how they love to run. I want to paintball them to death while running. Out of jealously of course. Then I deal with the workout barbies telling me how great their workouts are. Don't judge me if while their talking I picture stuffing their faces with cheeseburgers and chips. It's a jealousy thing for sure. I only wish I was the girl that could eat right and give at least twenty minutes a day to exercise. Truth is I fucking hate it! There I said it loud and clear. I know what to do to stop it, I'm not stupid! I just don't really want to and I don't know how to stop that feeling! I hate exercise!!!! . I never met a cheeseburger I didn't love either. I wish I was the person that crazy loved to workout and enjoyed veggies and all that healthy shit! I'm not! I really do try...well not that hard but I want to be that person!

On another note I have my last child campaigning for a phone. This is a thorn in my side for sure! I've been through the first two campaigning for a phone. The last comes way too soon. I fought the first till his 5th grade bday. BTW, he was one of the last out of his friends to get one. I fought the second because all his friends got them! He would talk to himself in front of me about all his friends having a phone and how they were texting. I stood strong to the half way through 5th grade rule. This one is in 4th and I'm tired and beat up. I don't know how long I can take till I give in! I went to check on him after he went to a party where the kid got an iPhone. I found this on his door! Calgone are you there?????? The sad part of me wants to just get him a phone to shut him up! It's mush easier for sure. The smart part of me knows that his brothers were fine without a phone till much later. I need to step up and hold my ground and not give in to lazy parenting! I swear sometimes I feel really sorry for myself. HeHe! Go to go...Hub's flies home today and I have sheets to wash! Remember I had a dog in my bed while he was gone...:)))

MaMapooloza

 This past weekend both Mom's came to Austin for a visit. They wanted to see the kids play sports. So Saturday we ran around like chickens with our heads cut off to games. Oh how some day "they say" I will miss these days. As of right now I'm flat ass worn out. While they were here we had to show our house twice. This is after not showing it for the last two weekends. Of course when I have out of townees the people come to look. Scrambling like chickens with our heads cut off once again.

 Hub's is out of town for the next three days. For some reason I see naked bed angels in my future. Normally I would get my buzz on and catch up on the phone with old girlfriends. Since I had no idea what a cluster fuck I was in store for with three in three different schools. That will not be happening tonight. I have to have Blake...aka....the not so charming prince and his friends at school by 6am for football. Mind you the school is about 15 miles away. I need to come back get Aidan...aka..worry wort up and to school by 7:30. Then I need to run back home and take Cole..aka..Drama into Dripping by 8am. This is yet another 15 mile drive. He needs to be there early for DRAMA class! This is just one reason I need to move closer to the schools. Of course I'm wide awake because I can't shut my brain down. If I would have had a look into my future I might have planned these pregnancies better. Triplets would have worked out better for me.

 YouTube might just happen to be every mothers worst nightmare. Blake was showing me how you can empty a tea bag and set it on fire. When it gets down to the bottom it lifts off into the air like a floating fire ball.

 Thank you "Youtube" for showing my kids how to possibly set my house on fire. I'm so glad he demonstrated this in front of the little guys. All tea bags and fire starters will now be hidden in my house. I will say...Mom...Deb downer had a field day with this show!

 Cole came home super excited because he got an A on his Math test. I don't know if I was more excited about the A or the "scratch-n-sniff" sticker on the paper. I forgot how much I love these stickers. When I was a kid I once stole some money from my Dad to buy a bunch. I'm not proud at all of this, but I always loved those little smelly stickers. Tonight Cole had to go right from school to football practice. He didn't get home till 8:30. By the time he ate, showered, and did homework it was 11pm. Homework is for the birds...seriously!!!! While Cole was at football my Mom wanted me to pull up Pinterest. Now my mom happens to be the most non computer savvy person I know. So she says..."Will you pull up that Pin thing for me"? I knew this would be trouble. She wanted to know why it said someone pinned my things. Then she wanted to know what they pinned that I pinned. Then she calls out and says..."I did something wrong, how do I get back on there"? Then again she calls out..."I messed up again, how do I get back to where I was"?????? This is after last night she wanted me to pull up Facebook so she could look at people's pictures. She would look through pictures and say...."Who is that person they are with?". I would say..."I have no idea..."I haven't seen this person in years". This went on for almost an hour. Then she would read someones status and want to look at all the people who commented on it. She would say...."Who is the person that said that???". I would say..."I have no idea those are their friends not mine". I love my mom and have a great time when she comes. Her tooling around on the computer is not my favorite activity with her though.

Mom and I went to Fredricksburg today. I found the BEST hand towel. It says...."As much as I try to be stretch your wings and fly type...I can't stop trying to burst people into flames with my mind". I just had to buy this! Every time I see it, it makes me smile!!!!!! Gotta go do my naked bed angels now! Good night from LaLa land!

Just rolling non stop over here in LaLa land!

 So my life has been more than busy lately and I kind of love it! I do like to complain a bit but who doesn't. Oh yes, there are those perfect people out there that always scream about the glass being half full. My week was full of getting kids to school, driving them to practice, and going to games. Last week I over slept and Blake missed practice one day. He set his alarm too but fell back asleep. He was upset because his football coaches made him do up downs after school. To the point where he puked in his mouth so he says. He blamed me. I blamed him, I do set my alarm to make sure he is not going back to sleep. He is old enough to be responsible for himself though. I did think at his age since he doesn't drive the coaches probably should have made me do the up-downs too. Maybe I would lose this cheeseburger  ass! He had a game Wednesday night. He is upset because he wants to be on the A team. He had a broken jaw for two months of practice though. He lost 12 pounds from his mouth being wired shut. I get why the coaches are not letting him play on A. The lesson here for him is not to do dumb things like jump off a roof to a rope swing with concrete under you!!!!! Kids at this age think nothing bad will ever happen to them. That scares the hell out of me. The only one I don't think I will have to worry about is Aidan...aka...worry wort! He will never test the waters! Thank God for small favors. Blake gets lots of playing time in on the B team. He should be thankful. I was on the sidelines taking way too many pictures.

 Aidan thinks he is the cats meow with the big kids. He comes on the field with me while I shoot the game. He practices with the players and knows all the coaches. It is fun to watch him. He thinks all these guys hung the moon. They all pay lots of attention to him and call him the mascot. The managers which happen to be high school girls pay lots of attention to him too. They think he is the cutest! I think that too but I'm his mom. I love that the coaches give him jobs and make him feel special. This is just one thing I love about being from a small town. The people out here have been really appreciative about all the pictures I take of their kids. You always have one crazy that complains though. I won't blog about a moms craziness about my pics though. I do have a filter though some people do not think that.

 I love to capture action shots but some of my favorites are the kids talking to the coaches. Here is Blake in a deep conversation with his coach. I've never been a football gal, I still do not get the flags on the play. I'm starting to finally get the game a little more. What I do get is football teaches my kids discipline and being a team player. It is a big NoNo to ever miss practice because it hurts the team. We had meet the teacher this week. At the end we went to the football meeting. We all want to drive our kids home after an away game. The coach talked about how they needed to ride the bus because they are a team. They ride together and they ride back together win or lose. It's all part of the game. As much as this can be an inconvenience I believe he is right. Maybe I've been in Texas so long I'm finally brainwashed. It's funny because it seems like I waited forever for my first to say his first word, pull up on something for the first time, take his first steps. After that everything seemed to go way too fast. I have to pinch myself when I pull up to the High school to drop him off or pick him up. Me with a kid in high school just doesn't seem possible. I was just there myself. It's weird when your kid passes you by in shoe size, weight, and height. Though all of mine have passed me in shoe size now. Every time I look at Blake...aka..the not so charming prince I am amazed at how fast he turned into a man. Right before my eyes for real. I'm am super proud of him at the same time super frustrated with him. I only wish he could understand the big picture and know how important it is to be a responsible, respectable adult. I know if I could age in reverse I would do better and would know better. I just want my kids to be healthy, happy, and rich doesn't hurt! I want them to have an easy life. Thinking about me in my youth  makes me realize you have to make mistakes to become the person you are supposed to be. It's funny because I was talking to Hub's about something I don't even remember what about. I said the comment about "they say". He laughed at me and said who are "they" anyway? I had to think when we say "They said" who are the "They". I have no idea but I do use the "They say" saying a lot. Who are "they" anyway?????

 So this picture is a "WTF" moment in parenting. After Blake's game I see this. I walk up and ask Blake if he does not know how to tie his own shoe. He laughs and says he's tired from his game. I say Oh no, you know good and well how to tie your own shoe. He says..Mom stop! I tell him never take advantage of the football managers for something you can do! Mama has some work to do with him!

I still really can't believe that my baby grew up when my eyes were closed. This is the kid who really thought I hung the moon. He cried when I sent him to pre-school because he had to be away from me. I never thought I would break him of wanting me at everything. He was really needy as a kid. Wanted me to be at everything. Now he is embarrassed of me and tells me to get away. I have to pull things out of him. I would have bet my house that this would never happen. Word..never bet your house on anything! Makes me appreciate the two behind him a little more. I need to take those moments in a little more instead of being annoyed by them. I love him more than he will ever understand that is until he has his own kids, I hope. I still think he is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I hope someday he understands everything. The good or bad I do in his eyes is to try to make him the best person I think he can be. I wish I could be there for everything, every hard decision, every peer pressure moment. What he doesn't get at this age in high school what seems to be important won't be important in the long run. What means a lot in high school is getting good grades so you can go on to college, make something of yourself, and getting into a college studying something that you have a passion for. It's not how popular you are, or if you made the A team or the B. It's not the girl you get in high school. It's the one that makes you laugh and makes you want to be a better person that usually comes later in life. It is also the job you go for that makes you feel something. I know I say on here that money makes everything easier. It does, to be honest. I do know a lot of people with money who are not happy. I know people just getting by that are not that happy. Seems I know a lot of people on both ends that are not that happy. I just think I want my kids to do something they love money or not to live a joyful live. I do still believe money makes things a bit easier. I have had money and been poor. When I compare the two I do think when I have had money it took some pressure off the table. Hub's and I have been a roller coaster if you will of having no money, some money, and ok money. Never really having too much money. Otherwise I would have been in the shop for all the damage my kids have done to my used to be youthful looks! In the long run what I'm trying to say with my overactive brain is I just want my kids to find happiness in their life rich or poor. I also want to say after having all these boys and being the girly girl I am, I would LOVE some granddaughters. In a perfect world I would write the script to my not so perfect life. Again sorry for bad grammar and miss spellings....someday when I have time for me I will get it straight. Until then greetings from LaLa land and more to come with these people I live with!

Making my move!

 So tonight I was making my rounds before the kids go to bed. I try to make it a point to chat with each of them in their bed at night. If I don't they hold me to it. I don't know if they enjoy our chats or if they like stalling bedtime. Probably a little of both. So tonight Cole...aka...drama... asks me to tell him a joke from the olden days. I say "who is from the olden days"??? He tells me I am....Sigh...... I ask him how middle school is going. He says it's hard with way too much homework. He has a teacher with a strong English accent. He likes to talk like him. It cracks me up. He then tells me he likes someone. I'm kind of shocked. He has liked the same girl since the first grade. I say..."what about Brooke"? He tells me he has given up for now. He says he likes a girl named Michelle. I ask if she likes him too. He says "he is not sure but he's making his moves". I laugh out loud and ask how does an eleven year old "Make a Move"????? He gets this really serious face and then he gets right up in my personal space and winks at me. I tell him the fact that he has the ability to make people laugh will be huge with the ladies! Girls like funny guys.

 Tonight I had a meet the teacher night at the high school. I was shocked at how young some of the teachers were. They look like babies. I'm really happy with all the teachers the not so charming prince got. They seem to be very motivated. He is off to a great start. I'm very proud of him since his day starts at 5:30am because of football. They have this thing called skyward where you can check the kids grades everyday. You know exactly what they got on all homework and test the day they take them. I'm so thankful there was no such thing as skyward when I was growing up. It makes me sweat thinking about it. I was the kid always scrambling at the end to get the grade up. When I go to talk to Blake I ask him what he thinks of his teachers. He seems to be happy so far. We have as much of a chat as I have come to expect at this age. I ask lots of questions and he has one word answers. I'm going to keep talking anyway. I think it is important. As I walked out of the room he said "Hey Mom". I said "yes". He says..."I love you". And there it was a small glimpse of the little boy that used to think I hung the moon. I almost cried, He is still in there somewhere!!!!

So I go to Aidan's room. He is spooning the dog. He loves our dog. My little worry wort asks me how much longer Ziggy will live. I tell him not to worry we still have many years with him. He asks how many years is many years. I tell him hopefully seven. He says...."darn it I was hoping to take him to college with me". He tells me he never met a dog as good as Ziggy. Then he says this is as good as it's going to get as far as dogs go. Believe me I know! The dog is like a super cool stoner. Totally laid back. So many times during the day I can't find him. I always find him in one of the boys beds tucked under the covers with his head on a pillow. He always looks up at me and lays back down. I always laugh it just cracks me up. Hub's not so much he believes a dogs place is in the dog bed not on any furniture! The dog and the rest of us have won this battle though. So then I have what I like to call a "WTF" moment of parenting. Aidan says......"What is herpes"???? I wish I could have seen my face when he asked this. This came out of left field especially after we were having such a nice chat about the dog. I ask where he heard this word. He says..."on a commercial". Because he is a worry wart he pays special attention to any medication commercials. I ask "what do you think it is"??? He says..."I don't know I just know the medicine you have to go on causes even more problems for you". What does one say when their nine year old asks what herpes is????? I have to stall cause I don't know what to say. I tell him it's a nasty rash. He asks where do you get it. I tell him in your mouth. He asks why people get it!!!!!!! I think please God why me!!!!! I plead the fifth and tell him I'm not really sure some people just get it. Now that I'm writing this down I think that was the wrong thing to tell him. I bet worry wort will be worrying about getting herpes because of my answer. I'm going to have to re approach this with him tomorrow. God give me strength! If anyone was any suggestions for me that would be great. My fear is if I tell him the truth he will tell a friend, the friend will tell their parents, and in turn I will look like a giant asshole!

On my final thought of the night.......I called my mom...aka...Debbie Downer tonight. She was telling me how she found a dead squirrel in her front yard. She says..."Don't you find that odd"? I don't really know why that would be odd but whatever. She says..."I could see if I found a dead one in the backyard because the dog would have probably killed it". She just can't understand why one would be dead in the front yard! Later in the night I see my sisters post on Facebook. She says..."Squirrel found dead in front yard. Deb Downer wants to know why...why did it die and don't I find it odd"? Kelly says..."Sorry Mom...sometimes squirrels just die". WAAAAA, WAAAAAA, WAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! Going to bed now! Too tired to proof read! Sorry for bad grammar and bad spelling! I really do need to take a grammar class!

Two weeks are you shitting me????

 So while I was at the spa Friday imagining myself much younger with no worries on a beach some where far, far, away. My phone rings. It's Hub's! Our house has been on the market since the end of June. He says...we are probably getting a cash offer but they want us out in two weeks. He hit me with this at the right moment for sure. I had just gotten done with a massage and facial. There was not much that could upset my relaxed state of mind at this point. I tell him if it's a full price offer I can do it! After a while reality kicks in and I start to think of all the crap that occupies my house, drawers, garage, attic, and closets. Then I think....TWO WEEKS ARE YOU SHITTING ME! So Sunday morning I wake up. Still no "cash" offer. I'm a little thankful. Maybe when Hub's told them for full price he scared them. Anyway Cole is asking me how to make microwave mac and cheese. I tell him to read the directions. He reads them in front of me. I believe he understands them since he read them out loud. I go about my business. I'm staying strong with making them do things that I know they can figure out. I'm in bedroom and I smell this awful smell. I walk out to the kitchen to see my microwave smoking. When I say smoking, smoke is pouring out of it. I run over and stop it. I open it up and start to choke. I call Cole in the kitchen. I ask.....Did you happen to remember the part that said put water into it????? He looks at me with the sweetest innocent face and says..."NO". I tell him to take a look at his mac and smell the house while your at it. Hours later I'm writing this and I can still smell this mess up. We are a huge work in progress here!

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 After this we are going to go look at a few lots and one house that I have loved since we moved here. It happens to be on the market. Blake has two friends overnight. Aidan doesn't want to be bothered with going. Cole wants a say in what we buy so he wants to go. We tell Blake him and his friends can stay but they have to babysit Aidan. We tell him no one leaves the house. We allow them to rent a movie that is age appropriate for Aidan to watch too. So we head out in the rain. We run out to look at the house we are considering building. I love it, Hub's wants the smaller one. I want the bigger one. I blame Pinterest! So we argue our points back and forth. Cole is putting his two cents in. Hub's stops him to tell him he is a temporary guest in our house so he has no say. I do laugh and agree with Hub's. After that the house I have loved since I moved here has an open house. We head that way to look at it. I stop for a Dr. Pepper because control is something I struggle with. While in the gas station in Wimberly TX I smell something amazing. I look and there is a taco bar. Three Mexican gals are cooking up their secret family recipes. I get a few tacos. I got two fish tacos and a cowboy one. They were to die for. Cheap too! We pull up to "The House"! As soon as I get out of the car and walk down the bricked path I scream....this is my dream house! Hub's looks at me and says...Hold on! I walk in and it is beyond words. Totally amazing. The finish out in this house is nothing less than perfect. There are few things I would change. It looks like something out of Southern Living magazine. My biggest disappointment is no double oven. Hub's is like for one it is 50 grand out of our price range and it only has a two car garage. It has custom everything. The laundry room is to die for. The built ins, the cabinets, the flooring, the wainscoting, the crown moldings, the iron work, the porches, the whole house, and I have drove by this house for the last five years! Hello, did Hub's ever hear about that asking the universe crap. This house goes on the market days before we are about to get an offer! I think in my head it is meant to be. Hub's has a whole other thing going on in his head! Men are from Mars women are from Venus! The picture above is lot Hub's wants to buy and build that much smaller house that is not my favorite. Though that field reminds my friend Erin and I of the meadow in the Twilight movies! I'm not 100 percent sold still, even though I love Twilight!

 We head over to our old neighbors house to watch football after all this. Reality sets in and I think.....Do I want to be house poor.....No! Do I want to give up vacations to live in my dream house?...No! Do I want to get a real job or do I want to have the luxury or shall I say slugury of being there for my kids???? Well maybe! Do I want to win the lotto and have it all????? Um, hell yes! Before we headed to their house we went back to ours to pick up our oldest and youngest. Come to find out they had made an air soft shooting range in our backyard in the rain. Remember the part when we left and told them no one outside???? They have my bar stools in the back yard among other things. They are soaking wet and have grass tracked all in my house that I'm trying to sell. My head is spinning when I walk in. I'm screaming. My oldest is like....why are you so upset???? I say did you hear us when we said no one outside and why the hell are my bar stools out in the rain????? He tells me he does not remember me saying no outside! Of course he doesn't they only hear when you are going to do something for them. Bet he would have heard if I said we are going to take you unlimited shopping spree! Just saying!

Anyway we have a great time hanging out with our old neighbors. I would love to have them as neighbors again. You couldn't ask for a greater family living close to you. The lot for sale by them has great trees and is in a great location. The thought of moving twice makes my head spin. By the time we do everything we want we are pretty close to my dream house price. Interest rates are at an all time low.  I'm dazed and confused! Pinterest has ruined me! I can't keep up with my Pinterest house, Pinterest clothes. Pinterest recipes, Pinterest parties, and Pinterest shit! Damn you Pinterest! More to come with these people I live with! On another note. Last night I was being a cry baby on here. Thinking I would stop writing in this blog publicly since people were judging it. I don't care now. My blog is almost too honest. It is me, if you don't like it or want to judge me for it I don't care. My biggest concern is raising responsible, good hearted kids! Nothing else really matters. I'm old enough to realize no matter what you do people will judge and talk about you. It's a fact of life. I think if I wasn't interesting enough to talk about I would be invisible. I don't want to be invisible, as a staying at home mom you feel invisible at times. I say...lets give them something to talk about! We have to unfortunately let our kids make some mistakes it's how they grow and learn. We all made mistakes growing up it paved the path to who we are today.  I would take back a thousand things I did. I did learn from my mistakes. I only can hope and pray that my kids learn from their mistakes as well. I did get an anonymous comment on my last post. I love that this person called my ass out. He said in so many words I blogged about youth entitlement and then I was doing their sheets. He said in so many words spoiled kids have their parents do things they can do...like wash sheets! I took a step back and thought he is right. Here I go again doing shit I can teach them to do. I'm a control freak and a work in progress. I'm thankful that anonymous guy called my ass out, I need that!......he reminds me of my sister who calls my ass out when I'm talking shit but not doing what I am saying! Once again sorry for bad grammar and spelling!

We have a hoarder in the house!

The other day I was washing every one's sheets and cleaning up the house. It's funny when your a mom you get this little intuition thing that kicks in. I have recently been looking for certain chips and snacks I have bought. I'm always surprised how fast they go through them. So while doing Blake...aka...The not so charming Prince's sheets. His drawer was calling my name. Only a mom will get this. A thought to check his drawer seriously comes out of no where. So I open the drawer. Low and behold we have a hoarder on our hands!!!! A snack hoarder that is! Remember I have a no drink and food upstairs rule in my house. As you can see my kids are not exactly rule followers. He has three big bags of unopened chips in his drawer and thing of beef jerky. I'd like to ring his not so charming little neck about now. Thank God he is at school so I can calm down a bit. I shop a lot. We have a pantry full of food at all times....there is no reason to hoard any food in this house! So he gets home and I call him out on this. He grins and says...it's his back up food for when we don't have any. I challenge him to tell me one time when we have not had food in the pantry for him to eat. He can't say a word!!!! That is what I thought!!!!!

Friday afternoon I headed out for a much needed girls spa day. I haven't had a spa day since I moved here almost six years ago. I forgot how important these days are. It was five of my girlfriends and I. There is nothing better than hanging out with good girlfriends. We got massages and facials. During my massage they played the "massage" music. I tried to relax. I have a very hard time relaxing. My mind is always going 90-nothing. So I did relax but I couldn't shut my overactive imagination down. I thought maybe I will try to meditate. So meditate I did. I meditated about being young with no Hub's and no kids. On a beach with my girlfriends with not a worry in the world. Don't judge it's just a fantasy. I just wish I would have really enjoyed and taken those times of my life in more. During my facial the girl told me I have great skin for my age. I seem to really hate when people give me a compliment followed by a "for your age" crack. Great skin would have been just fine. You can just stop there...no need to throw the age thing in the mix.  So I tell her I'm getting concerned about some lines that won't go away. Especially the "MOM, mad line" between my eyes. There is no make-up that will cover that shit up anymore. She tells me I should do botox on that line. She tells me she is a botox regular. Remember I'm getting a facial so I really can't see her face. After I'm done I go back to the super great showers and bathroom to clean up. I really do just want to move right into this place. She comes in and calls my name. She hands me a card with a name of the doc that does her face. I'm looking at her frozen face with her lips that look super un natural and her face that looks scary frozen thinking OMG!!!!! She leaves and I throw the card away. Now don't get me wrong I have seen some girls who have botox and lips and they look natural and great. This girl not so much. My fear is vanity would kick me in the ass and I would end up looking like her. I'm still on the fence with the whole botox thing. Anyway a whole day without my kids pecking at me was bliss. Sometimes I feel my kids are like chickens...I would be the corn that they peck at all day. Pecking every last kernel off me. I know most moms get that. We love our kids but they peck the hell out of our sanity all day. They get us doing and saying things we swore we never would. After my spa day I woke up and felt like someone had beat the shit out of me...in a good way. My muscles were super sore. I laid in bed the next day thinking there are some moms out there that never experience the luxury of a spa day. I believe every mom should get a day like this. In a perfect world right???? I myself wish I could afford this luxury at least twice a month. I would be a much better mother if I did.

I thought about shutting this whole blog thing down recently. I have learned that some people are judging me hard by what I write on this. I still have mixed emotions on the whole thing. I will continue to write but maybe in private. This has been huge for me. It has made me realize I love to write even if I'm not great at it. It has gotten things off my mind. It has also been a diary of almost everything I think about and everything going on in my world. I have read back on it since I've been writing it for two years now. I have laughed about so many things I might have forgot about if I didn't write it down. I think it will be fun for my kids to read it when they are age appropriate. They will be able to read back about how much I stressed and worried about them. They will also get that they were total shit birds at times! They will get that I questioned myself at all times and never claimed to be a perfect mom. They will get that marriage and kids are hard work. It's no walk in the park. Anyway I heard people talk about how I go back to bed a lot. They have said things like I'm probably hung over. Now I'm not going to lie, I love to throw down at a good party or love to get my drink on with a girlfriend once in a while. I go back to bed because I have MS. Goggle the symptoms of this. Fatigue is the first thing that will come up. I fight it everyday. I don't talk about MS much because I try to ignore it as much as I can. If I don't go back to sleep I fight foot pain, back pain, and brain fog all day....I am not sleeping off a hang over! With MS comes a lot of other bullshit I won't bore you with. I just want people to know I'm not sleeping off a hang over unless there is a really good party.

Recently my blog got my not so charming prince in question. I do bitch on here about my "know it all" teenager. Some people assumed the worst about him. They took what I said and twisted a very nasty story about it. I'm here to say...not much gets by me. He is not perfect and his mess ups I know about. I have made a ton of mistakes with him and he is doing the normal teenage crap and making some mistakes of his own. He is a great kid with a good heart. I will protect him hands down to anyone that messes with him if he is right. I also believe that if he is wrong he needs to take responsibility. I had him call a friend of mine recently to tell her something he did. I'm not writing about what it is but I made him take responsibility for his part. This about killed him with embarrassment. I believe he learned a lesson. I'm just trying to do the best I can with my kids. I know I'm not perfect nor are they. We are all going to make mistakes. I have learned tons in my life. I wish I could make all my kids decisions for them in the tough "peer pressure" years of life since I know better. I gave my kid a bit of wisdom recently. He may take it or he may need to learn from it. I told him number one don't do anything that you would be embarrassed of if someone found out about it. I told him remember we are from a small town where people know what your doing. I also told him if he doesn't want to do something be alright with saying "NO". I told him if he has the courage to say "NO" almost everyone in the group will say no too. I told him there are lots of people waiting for someone to say no so they can follow that lead. Last I told him that he can always use me as a way out. I told him to say he has a crazy weird mom that finds out everything and I scare the hell out of him. Now don't take this as my kid is bad and you should keep your kids away.  I'm just preparing him for high school situations that we all know a lot of our kids will find themselves in. I also told him I have defended his honor lately even though I know where there is smoke there is fire. I told him if he made me eat these words I will cut him. I'm not kidding! I just have to say the people judging me doesn't bother me that much. I have done my fair share of judging without walking in someones shoes. I'm here to tell you I'm judging myself way harsher than anyone out there. What bothers me is when people twist my words...assuming I'm some hung over drunk instead of someone just trying to fight something I don't really have the time to deal with. Also when they twist the words I say about about my kids....if they turn out awful I will be the first person to tell you to steer your kids clear till I get this under control. If there are people that hate me and my kids just de-friend me and stop reading this! On a brighter note I have met some amazing people here. I have made life time friends that I can say anything to and they don't judge or assume the worst. I'm just a mom trying to the best I can. Sorry for bad grammar and spelling!!!

30 things in 30 days!

 So the other day since my house is on the market I was re-distributing things. I was hiding shit above my fridge. I got on a step stool, I'm guessing that most people's fridge have a huge layer of dust on them. I'm also guessing that most people would not find something like this written in the dust. I see this and really do laugh out loud. I also think why in the world my 11 year old would write this on top of the fridge. Sexy is a word I don't even remember knowing at this age. I know I was not sexy at this age. So when Cole...aka....Sexy Cole comes home from school I ask him about this. I tell him I found this sexy Cole thing on top of the fridge. He looks at me and laughs. I ask him if he wrote this, thinking no one else in this house would have done this. He as he always does admits that he wrote it. I ask WHY????? He tells me because he is a sexy beast and no one knows that yet but he is. I have mixed emotions. I have raised my kids to be confident but sexy at 11 is never something I have ever said!!!!  I still have to laugh about this because SEXY??? Is he kidding??? I will give him cute or witty at this age. Sexy is just not in the cards for him yet! I don't even think I was sexy in my twenties. It takes years of bad break-ups and nasty boyfriend or girlfriends in his case to get your SEXY on!

 Since I started reading that book about teaching your kids to be responsible I have been all on board. Most of my pics are of Aidan because he the youngest, the easiest to re-train. He is all on board. I am working on the others, but they hate their picture taken these days. They also are not taking to this re-do as much as the youngest. I did have the older two hang up all their clean clothes. This is a big deal. We are a work in progress for sure. Anyway Aidan was all on board to learn how to fold the towels. Remember I was raised by a should have been Martha Stewart mom. My towels are folded perfect. It was hard and I mean hard for me to allow him to fold the towels. He is no Martha, but he will be if I keep at this. I took the towels to the closet because he was proud. I really did want to re-fold them. If I did that I would take away the "proud" moment he had folding them. I have to remember this is a learning experience. I can not burst his bubble....until I get a call that someone wants to look at our house! Then I will re-fold this mess.

 Anyway the kids went back to school last week. I promised myself I would do 30 things in 30 days. Thank you for PINTEREST for setting the bar so high. I'm behind the eight ball but I'm going to re-do my pantry. Here is my before shot.

 As I tackle this project Aidan is off to baseball practice. I found out tonight that he will have practice on Tuesday and Thursday in Drippin. Cole happens to have practice Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in Drippin. Blake happens to have practice at 6:15 am Monday and Tuesday and after school on Wednesday, a game on Thursday. Cole and Aidan both have games every Saturday. Do you feel my pain???? I really just want one person to say they get it! My head is spinning...you get that is not one weekday free! You do have to factor in dinner and homework! I'm thankful that for the next few weeks I'm still a stay at home mom. I really don't know how the working mom's do it! My hat is off to you girls for sure.

 I unload my pantry all over my kitchen. I feel ashamed at all the crap I have in there that has been in there since I moved here six years ago. There are lots of things that the date is expired. I throw a whole lot away. This Catholic guilt is getting me. I swear I think that I will try to only get things I need from now on. It's a sin for sure when you think of all the people in the world in need. I probably got rid of 200 dollars worth of stuff. You live and learn for sure.

When I am done I feel one weight lifted off of me. I have many closets and cabinets to go through. I only wish my Martha Stewart mom was here to help me do this crap. She is a huge organizer. I know she could get my house in shape.

My heart is heavy tonight. When your a mom your heart is heavy most of the time. You are always worried about something. My youngest one Aidan...Aka...the worry wart is having a hard time these days. It's funny because even though you raise your kids all the same they are so different. Aidan over thinks everything. The first week of school he had a full blown panic attack the third day of school. It was so bad I had him stay home. He thought he was dying and wanted to go to the hospital, I really did cry. No mom wants their kid to carry this stress. I had seen this panic in him before just a few times. It broke my heart because I think a child this age should not be such a worry wart. He really does over think everything. To him this worry is real. I get it more than Hub's. Hub's thinks he is a Mama's boy. I can relate I have suffered from this too. So two weeks into school he has another full blown attack. Hub's had him go to school. I talk to him about it after school. He tells me he fears that something bad will happen to me while he is gone. He also fears something bad will happen to him while he is at school and I will not get to him in time. I feel heartbroken that at his age he fears these things. He tells me he knows I'm going out of town soon. He fears that something bad will happen to me and he doesn't want me to go. The worst thing for me is when I was talking to him about this. He said kids are laughing at him for crying at school. I let him stay home the first time. We sent him the next time. I told him to tell the kids he was crying because his tummy hurt. He says...I can't keep saying that everyday. I say...What do you mean everyday??? He then tells me he has cried everyday, in the bathroom and at his desk! This is way worst than I thought. I don't know how to fix it! I don't want this kid to grow up a prisoner of his mind.  I want him to not fear life. I tell him everything is going to be alright but he feels something different in his head. My next move is to get him help for this. I refuse to let him miss out in life because he fears everything. Damn it if this Mom thing isn't the hardest thing in the world.. Again sorry for bed grammar or bad writing, remember my claim to fame is not being a good writer!

Youth Entitlement

Reading this youth entitlement book really makes me want to turn back the hands of time to this picture.   A re-do please, is that so much to ask for. I promise I will do things different. I would start by not rewarding my kids for good behavior with candy in the grocery store. I should have expected and demanded good behavior. I did a lot of bribing back in my day. I should have just popped their ass for bad behavior.  I guess there is some truth to the "live and learn" saying. So in the book the lady starts out by having her kids make their beds and pick up their rooms in the morning. The next month she has them cooking. She realizes and says in the book that she not only set the bar too low, but she was settling for less than they had to offer. She was talking about how Obama wants parents to be able to carry their kids on insurance till their 26. I love when she calls that....The entitlement card that postpones independence, caters to fear of failure, provides parachutes, and avoids reality. She talks about what a great message that is to send to our future leaders. She says...It teaches kids to keep relying on their parents and avoid life for a few more years. I don't know about you but I really don't want to be still raising mine in their late 20's. I want to be on vacation without them. It's scary when you think our future leaders will be such narcissist. She's talking about her kids and my favorite thing she says is...."Can I get cheese with that whine". I'm totally stealing it! Reading this book makes me realize what a hot mess I am and that my kids are a hotter mess.

I'm not even half way through the book and it has made my top gift list for anyone I know that is pregnant. I only wish I read a book like this instead of that "What to expect when your expecting" one. While I was trying to read once again last night. Aidan was hosting a sleepover with three of his friends. No, it was not his B-day!!!! I'm a pleaser...I need to work on that. The book is not helping me yet. My kids are not the one friend kind of kids. They come with gangs. It's hard to leave kids out on something like this since they play together everyday. They drove me nuts. I wondered do these shit birds ever tire out. Nine is a bad age for boy sleep overs. They are way too rowdy and loud at this age. At 12:30 they came down for the umpteenth time. I said again.....GO TO BED, OR AT LEAST BE QUIET. One boy says....We are staying up till 5am. I say...why would you want to do that???? He says...We want to sing that song...ya know the one that goes..."It's five O'clock in the morning, the conversation got boring". I did laugh a little. Then I thought not only are a lot of us over indulging our kids. We are also letting them listen to music that is way over their heads. These kids know too much at their age. I remember a while back I think Aidan was seven at the time. We were driving someone to some practice. Remember we spend a ridiculous amount of time in the car. He was singing word for word...."I can make your bed rock". I looked in the rear view mirror at him and thought.....Damn, I'm going to mommy hell. Granted he didn't know what it meant but geez. We are a music family. We all love to listen to music, sing, and dance. My kids know the words to every country song on the radio. Well actually the know the words to almost anything on the radio. Cole can belt out some Adele and Taylor Swift like a rock star. Unfortunately almost every song these days have to do with sex, drinking, drugs, bad breakup, messed up relationships, and so on. Another time I came into Cole's room he had his iPod on and was dancing in the mirror singing about brushing his teeth with a bottle of Jack!!!! Hello Mommy Hell my name is Kerry!!! So the music they listen to is sending the message that sex is alright, drinking is fun, drugs are alright, and bad breakups are the norm.

I'm at the part in the book where she introduces yard work into the bed making, room cleaning, and cooking. It's kind of starting to make my head spin. It scares me to think about trying to do this with my kids. See she is right we have come to expect failure from our kids and ourselves. It is so much easier to do it all ourselves. Easier and more peaceful. I don't know about you but it drives me to the point of insanity to hear them whine. Earlier I was talking about bribing my kids. Like I said I'm guilty as the next for this bad behavior. I bribed my kids before they even needed to be bribed. I taught them that they could get something for acting good even before they acted bad. I take pictures, if your friends with me on facebook my pictures probably drive you nuts. I have taken lots of pictures of families over the years. Most of the families with small children bribed their kids through the whole session even before they needed to. They would say things like....If your good and smile we will go to Toys-R-Us after this. They would bribe them with junk food and ice-cream. How about your ass is grass if you don't smile and act right???? While she is introducing yard work into the picture. She talks about all the crap in her yard and garage. Balls, shoes, trampolines, too much of everything. I start to think of my own yard and garage. Too many balls, shoes, baseball bats, football crap, chairs, toys, bikes, motorcycles, scooters, skateboards, talk about over indulging. I'm ashamed!

Recently before I started reading this book I realized that I may have loosened the ropes too much for my 15 year old. I had to pull them back in. I set some new rules. I told him that this sleeping over at people's houses I didn't know that well were going to stop. I also told him there were a few friends that I would not allow him to hang with. For the most part he hangs with really nice kids. There are just a few (Two) that I question. That Mama's intuition hits home on this. He learned a valuable lesson recently...The guilty by association one comes to mind. Anyway, we live in a small town as I have said before. Everyone and anyone goes to the Friday night football games. I made him stay home. It about killed him but hurt me more. When I got home he told me everyone was texting him how fun it was! I thought...good. The next night he got to go to movie with some friends. He called me and begged me to allow him to stay over at a boy's house. There were a bunch of them going there. I held my ground and said No! I'm getting better I swear. This was hard for a pleaser like me.

It is funny that while I read this book my head spins. I keep thinking my kids will never be able to do all this. I really don't want to keep up with all of this. Remember there are three of them. But honestly I don't know because I have never tried. In the book she talks about how her kids did not realize the privilege of ownership. How when she started this her kids had no idea what it meant to maintain a home. She is a blogger too. So she gets comments from people. One mom had written in about kids parties. How we all try to one up each other on "Loot Bags". Loot bags that end up in the trash the next day. Kind of wishing I had all the money back from the "loot bags" over the years! The author talks about what we don't see won't hurt us. I'm an ignorance is bliss girl all the way. I even talk about it on here. Then she says, We all know the problem is there, we should do something about because it is our kids we are talking about. I feel really guilty about now! She says we are dropping seeds in our kids everyday that scream insecurity and inadequacy, greed and consumerism,  selfishness and cynicism. I did have to "google" one of those words. My sister....aka...Twisty will have a field day with that. We pretend that problems aren't real. Are we going to be there to fix all these problems when they fly the coop? I don't know about you but I want to be on a long expensive vacation, I don't want them living with me and latching on to my overpriced insurance.

She too has a teenager, so see she started this experiment with him late. That does give me a glimmer of hope. She describes him as the...see and say whatever you want fairy came to visit him on his 13th Bday kid. She talks about how money is important but not to her kids. I get it my kids like lots I see around town are walking around with 30 dollar underpants and 14 dollar nike socks. I always thought is was important for them to have to latest fashions everyone else had. I remember this being important to me as a kid. What I forgot is I raised funny witty kids who have no problem making friends. I bet if they were not walking around in 14 dollar socks they would still have the same friends! Shame on me for teaching them this. She talks about kids being way over served these days. Did anyone ever cook  meals to please??? I came from the house where you ate what you were given.  So what if I spit a few things out in my napkin. Or excused myself to spit something out in the potty. I did not come from the one where if you didn't like it you could make a sandwich. I do have mixed emotions on this point. There are some things still today that I wouldn't eat for a ridiculous amount of money. But I have taken this a bit too far in my house. They at least need to try!

She talks in the book about how some parents shell out hundreds of dollars on coaches, tutors, and you name it. They do this to build confidence in their kids. We could do all this at home for free. She was at dinner with a friend who was talking about how children these days are not required to do meaningful work to help the family. We make them go to school, pursue way too many extracurricular activities, staying out of trouble is their biggest function.  We don't expect as much as we should from our kids. The parents that do this have kids that feel a sense of self worth and the kids are very proud of what they are doing.

We're at the mall today indulging our kids in stuff they need for school. I'm one of those that does school shopping after they start. You never know what has changed since last year. The black socks with shoes is throwing me. It reminds my of my Polish neighbor as a kid mowing his lawn. Just doesn't look good, but what do I know???? So Hub's and I stop at the food court. I order cheese fries and a Dr pepper. He looks at me and says... we have been together half our life now. Is he about to say something romantic???? Of course not! He says.....I have never and I mean never saw you make a healthily choice in what you eat! I can't say anything.....because he is right! I laugh, sad I know. I was trying to eat right and work out. I have not only fallen off the wagon but the wagon wheels are missing too.  I think how can I expect so much from my kids when I don't expect so much for myself. What comes to mind is Friday nights football game. At 11pm  I stopped at a gas station for a Dr pepper in the morning. In my defense I don't love coffee. I knew I had a full day of sports the next day. I had the little guys with me so they too wanted one for the next day. I have taught them well right??? The next day they forgot about them so I drank all three!!!! We are or I am for sure a work in progress! So tomorrow is my Monday again when I swear I'm going to change.....good luck to me once again!!! So my grammar sucks plus my spelling...remember I have never said I was a good writer on here! I'm once again too tired to proof read. This has turned a little bit into a on line diary for me! Girl needs to get this shit out of her head so she can sleep! Good night from "LaLa" land!