Bloody Mary

 I said I was going to be pinteresting this week and that's what I have done. I made a pot roast tonight from pinterest and it sucked. Then I decided to frost my kitchen table with mayo like a cake. I saw on pinterest that it would take away water stains and make your table look nice. So Cole walks in from football. He walks up to the table with a strange look on his face. He kind of shrugs his shoulders and says....Does this have something to do with what's for dinner. I laugh out loud and tell him to go get the sandwich meat. He looks at me funny and says.."Why"? I tell him we are going to make a giant table sandwich and eat it. Then I of course tell him I'm kidding and serve him the awful pot roast I made.

 I go to pick Blake up from a friends house because they are studying. Yes, I'm laughing when I write this. When I get back I catch the dog eating the mayo of the table!!!!! Eweee...

 The little guys get into helping me clean it up. Guess what...it took the water ring off the table.

After this they head up to bed. I always go with them so we can talk about their day. Aidan is still scared of bloody Mary. So I take him in the bathroom and tell him lets do it. I want him to see that nothing will happen. He tells me we need to turn the lights out. I say alright. He then tells me that I'm asking for it! So there I stand feeling like I'm right back at that sleepover as a kid. I'm embarrassed to say but I was scared shitless. I hate that kind of stuff. I always have. So I say it three times as fast as I can with chills running down my spine. My eyes were closed of course. I just knew she was going to pop out at me. I don't like testing these kind of legends. Surprise, surprise, no bloody Mary. After this I go downstairs. Shorty after this he comes down the stairs screaming. This one is going to take a while to get over I think.

So Aidan is asleep on the couch. I go to sit out back on the patio and talk on the phone. I have these long flowing pants on. When I come in I walk over to the pantry. I feel something on my leg. It kind of feels like a sticker thing. I pull up my pant leg and see a giant and I mean giant roach looking thing. I scream bloody murder. I try to shake it out but I don't know where it went. Aidan wakes up and thinks bloody Mary is getting me. I strip my pants off right there. Now I'm afraid to touch them. I don't want to see how big that thing is. So I stomp on my pants, I'm hoping I killed it. I'm still too freaked out to check.

The teenager comes down. He has his game day shirt on. He tells me it's too big. I tell him tough he has to wear it. Damn thing was 50 dollars. The whole football team will be wearing them. He complains and complains. I tell him he better have that on at school tomorrow. I have a feeling he won't. So I tell him I'm going to stop up there and check. He says..."Like a crazy stalker"? I say that's right. He shakes his head and says..."No, you won't". I tell him I know someone in one of his classes and I'm going to have them take a picture of him in class and send it to me. He walks away and says...Thanks mom for making me dress like some little kid in a daddy shit. After that he gets on the phone to call his friend Will to see if his shirt is big too. Just another day with these people I live with!!!!

I'm "Pinteresting".

Well I made through the first two days of back to school. It was crazy getting them all up at different times. I pulled this picture out of the vault. Time is flying. This picture seems like yesterday. It was four years ago! Aidan started kindergarten with stitches over his eye. Blake looks so different. It makes me wonder what the other two will look like in a few years.

Now to 2012. Aidan wanted to look just like his older brothers with a polo and Sperry's. Mama needs a good job! He had a great first day of school. That night while getting ready for bed he tells me he has a problem. We seem to be having a little "Bloody Mary" issue over here. I'm sure most people remember the story of "Bloody Mary". I know I sure do. What I remember is being at a sleepover in grade school. Everyone was being dared to do bloody Mary in the mirror. I remember standing in the mirror saying bloody Mary over and over. With my eyes closed of course. Then I lied and said I saw her. I was scared for months after that to look in a mirror. So Aidan asks me if I know what bloody Mary is. Of course, it's a fantastic cure for a bad hangover. He tells me he was at a friends house and they looked Bloody Mary up on YouTube. Can you imagine what bloody Mary looks like on YouTube?  If I wasn't a chicken shit I would pull it up. If I do I will have a problem with mirrors again. To this day sometimes I think about her at night when I use the bathroom and pass a mirror. I tell him he will be fine. He asks if he can sleep in our bed tonight because he is so scared. You can see his bathroom mirror from his bed unfortunately, and there is no door. So I say that will be fine. Hubs doesn't like the idea. I have to remind Hubs what it is like to be afraid of something as a child. He ends up letting him lay down in there. In the meantime I'm going through all the back to school paper shit and Hubs is on the computer. Hubs always goes to bed before me. When he goes in there Aidan is gone. We find him curled up behind the couch sleeping in the dog bed. Poor little guy. We have a big a armoirer in our room with a full size mirror. It sits right across from our bed. He has afraid she was in there and was going to open it up. Sounds awful doesn't it!

Day two, we are still afraid of bloody Mary. He wants to sleep in our bed again. Hubs is like....If we start this he will never go back to his bed. I feel for the kid. I have a crazy overactive imagination too. I can't watch scary stuff to this day because of nightmares. I totally get why he is scared. So I tell him bloody Mary is not real. He looks at me with this look that only Aidan can give. It reminds me of a deer in headlights. He does this strange line smile that only he can do. It's his nervous smile. He starts to shake his head and says very matter-of-factly that she is going to haunt me forever. I say...WHAT???? He says if you don't believe in her she will haunt you forever. He is dead serious. In my head I'm thinking WHYYYYYY, did you just say this. Now he has me thinking about her again. So I lay down with him till he falls asleep. Thank God he is tired and it doesn't take long. Now I have gone to the bathroom and avoided the mirror. Because I'm crazy! I was even doing something at the sink which has a window behind it. A window with a reflection. I found myself thinking what if bloody Mary pops up in it. I call my sister...aka...Twisty to tell her the story. She is laughing. I tell her I want to pull it up on YouTube. She knows how crazy I can be and tells me not to do it or I will be sorry. I kind of feel like a kid again. Wanting to do something I know I shouldn't. I have a strange feeling I will dream about her tonight.

On the first day of school Cole was nervous. He was going to a new much bigger school. Middle school. When your a mom you just know when your kids are nervous even if they don't say anything. They are just different. I drove him to school so I could try and talk him down. Anyone who really knows me knows I wanted to go back to bed. I drove him and even did some volunteer work at his school. BTW, I totally tooting my horn right now. So he stared out the window most of the way there. When he got there he said he felt sick. I told him it was nerves. This is the first time I have seen this kid this nervous about something. He was my only kid that never cried or guilted me when I dropped him off at school for the first time. He was by far my go with the flow kid. I was kind of shocked. So he got out of my car and puked. I knew he wasn't sick because it wasn't the vomit kind of puke. If your a parent you know the difference. Everything in me wanted to take him back home and tell the school he was sick. I knew this wouldn't help him so I walked him in and sent him off. I did my work there and tried to walk around to find him in the hallway. I saw most of his friends but never saw him. He ended up having a good day. That night we talked about what he is so worried about. He has lots of friends and knows lots of people. I knew it wasn't that. He is worried about not doing well. He has a learning disability just like my oldest. This is a constant challenge for anyone who has a child with anything like this. It is heartbreaking. You know things are harder for them and there is not much you can do to help them. I tell him as long as he tries his hardest nothing else matters. I know he will and that's all I ask.

The next day I have another crazy morning of trying to get three kids up at different times. Cole is the last to go. I tell him I'm going to drive him to bus stop. We miss the bus because it comes ten minutes earlier than last year. Mom of the year didn't read through all that school shit as good as she should have. So I drive him. I ask if he feels better about today. He says...he is fine. I can tell he is not himself yet. So we get close to school and he asks me to pull over. I ask why and he tells me he needs to puke out some nerves. I laugh a little at what he says. It was just a funny way to say that. But my heart is breaking at the same time. What I love about him is he actually cares about doing well. Don't get me wrong I don't want him puking out nerves everyday. My oldest and I crazy love him never really cared how well he did in school. It is a constant fight at my house. He is a fly by the seat of his pants kind of kid. I get it. I was that way too. I will never tell him that though. As sad as I am about Cole I'm happy that he has a passion to do well. It's a relief that he cares.

So since Blake left before 6am both days I didn't get the first day of school picture. When he got home on the first day I asked if I could take a picture of him in front of the house with his backpack. He pretty much said Hell no. He was getting a snack and I got this sneak attack picture. Not the one I pictured in my head but I got what I could. He had little to say about the first day. The only thing he said is they can use their phone in some classes. I found this odd and I may think he is full shit. He did text me during the day to call the school and get him out of a certain class before he kills himself. A little dramatic for my taste. The class he wants to drop is computer programming.

When he got home on his second day Hubs and I tried to tell him computer programming is a great thing to know. He told us he had no interest in that and he wanted to do auto mechanics. As much as I wanted to scream I held it in. I have to remember he is growing into his own man and he is not going to be what I want him to be. I heard the trades are hurting these days anyway since so many people went into computers. Plus it seems like lots of computer people are out of work. I would really love for him to become a famous plastic surgeon. I have an X that became a famous one. Now that's a whole other blog entry.

So since school started back I decided to I was going to put these Pinterest boards to good use. I was going to be Pinteresting. So I made THE BEST FISH TACOS ever according to Pinterest. I do have to say they were pretty darn good.

I went up to tuck Cole in and this is what I found. He was organizing his folders for school. So proud.

Day two of being Pinteresting. I made a chick dish in the crock pot. Kids loved it. Now if only I could move in my pinterest house, with my pinterest clothes, have my pinterest perfect body, and have my pinterest party.

Oh yes and an orzo salad too. I decided when the kids went back to school I was going to attempt to straighten myself out once again. My friend Sue had started an accountability group on line while I was in Chicago. It's a group where we try to motivate each other to workout and eat better. While in Chicago I ate my weight in pizza and drank enough beer to sink a battleship. I stole that saying from my late Grandma. So accountable I was not. Sue took me as a guest to the YMCA tonight. Are you singing that YMCA song in your head? I seem to be. We took a Zumba class. I loved it. It was hard though. At one point the room seemed sideways and I maybe thought I could puke. What a workout though. I left there feeling great. Anywho, more to come with these people I live with and my pinteresting self.

'Twas the night before school started.

'Twas the night before school started.....did you hear my big WOOOO WHOOOO?????

Anyone who has read this blog from the start knows I like to re-write shit and put my EVIL genius stamp on it. It is finally the night before school starts. My house is a mess with all the back to school crap. I had a hard time getting motivated today even though I had lots too do. I found myself on the sofa watching TV, Pinteresting on the computer, and yes reading Bared to you. I know what your thinking....I'm a total multi-tasker!!!!! That or I have A.D.D. Anywho, back to school inspired me to re write a great classic poem once again. I did re write this same poem at X-mas one year. So here it goes, judge away! Don't think I'm not judging myself harder. Remember I grew up Irish Catholic.

                 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE SCHOOL STARTED.....

'Twas the night before school started.....
When all though the house,
Mama was doing a happy dance,
I got back my couch.

The backpacks were lined up...
by the front door with care,
In hopes I got all the school supplies right,
If not I will swear.

The children were nervous...
All snug in their beds,
We are going to have one at every school this year,
Visions of mess-ups are in my head.

And me making lunches...
as Hubs is asleep,
About to have a cocktail,
And kick up my feet.

The house is so quiet....
There is no more clatter,
I sip on my cocktail,
There is no more brain splatter.

I tore open my lap top...
For it is all mine,
I pull up my Pinterest,
And sip on my wine.

My credit card is on fire....
from new school shit,
New Polo and Sperry,
Hubs is sure to have a fit.

More rapid than Eagles...
They charged up my card,
They whistled and shouted,
And called out these names,
American Eagle, Nike, Under Armor, Polo, Sperry, and lids,
To the register they came,
With loot in their hands,
Now Charge away, charge away, charge away, all.
They are dressed better than me,
And that's down right scary.


We hurried home with our bags....
In hopes we would not get greeted by Dad,
Now go to your rooms and pull off those tags,
Lets just pretend this is stuff we have had.

I was tired from summer.....
I'm ready for a break,
I need that six hours,
I'm sick of the constant headache.

These times really do go fast..
As old people love to say,
As much as I love them,
They are causing early grey.

I heard all the "NO FAIRS" I could stand...
I clenched my teeth.
I had to hide in closet,
Since my headache was like a wreath.

I had days I made the famous Mommy scary face....
I acquired quite the beer belly,
From numbing the pain,
Some days I was just downright smelly.

I had good days and bad days....
but now it don't matter,
I laughed and I cried,
And got just a bit fatter.

With a wink of an eye..
The summer went by,
I will miss it I mean it,
But I'm still happy I can't deny.

I'm up to ass  with school supplies....
I do not remember that much stuff as kid,
I bought some tonight, I'm a huge procrastinator.
When the statement comes in Hubs is going to flip is lid.

I look forward to lunches with friends...
And then I will settle in for an afternoon nap,
It's hard being me:)
I will no longer feel like I could snap.

Oh wait, I forgot I will become their driver...
With football and baseball,
I'll live in my car,
This is sure to cause lots of brawls.

There will be field trips and volunteer work.
But I still have that six hours,
It's hard being a Mom,
It's not for a coward.

Happy school year to all...
And to all a good night!!!!!

So I sit here tonight...house is quiet and I may have happy danced around it a bit. As much as I danced I did have a mommy break down too. I'm about to have three boys at three different schools for the first time. This just scares the shit out of me. It's hard for me to believe how fast the years are flying by. I worry and I mean worry about the one starting high school. I pray everyday that he does well. High school is probably the hardest years for anyone. What kids don't get is it is such a short time in the big picture. We're so impressionable in those years and if you get into the wrong things it can haunt you forever. Since he is popular this scares me more.We all want to be popular when we're  in high school. Once we have our own kids we don't really want them to be popular. We want the crazy nerd that does great in hs and goes on to start things like facebook. I just want things to be perfect for him. In a perfect world right! I hope that he listens to me and takes what I tell him to heart.

Cole is starting middle school. Tonight he had a stomachache in bed. I went up and sat on his bed and talked to him. I told him his stomachache was probably because he was nervous. He looked up at me and started to cry. This truly broke my heart. He told me he thinks he just needs to cry it out. I asked him what are you crying about. I told him he had lots of friends in the same boat as him and this will seem like nothing in a few days. He said he just wants to do good. Wow, I kinda love this kid! I feel for him because he is dyslexic just like my oldest. Everything is harder for him and that just plain sucks! As a mom you want everything to go smooth for our kids and when it doesn't it truly does hurt your heart. Let me tell you something positive. While I was up there calming him down my oldest came in. He asked what was the problem. I told him the situation. He jumped up on the bed and told Cole everything about middle school and told him he would be fine. He told him his fears when he started.  If this wasn't a proud mommy moment for me I don't know what is. He then hopped off the bed and said wait here. He disappeared for a minute and came back with his favorite polo shirt and told Cole he could wear it tomorrow. Yes, my heart sank! Maybe this kid is listening to me!

While I write this my youngest just came down. He can't sleep. He is by far my biggest worry wort of all three. This kid over thinks things to a fault.  He is just like me. I try to break him of this all the time. If your like this you have panic attacks which he has had already. Panic attacks are awful, I know because I have had these since I was a kid too. I don't want him to fear things the way I did and still do at times. It really can stop you from living the life you are supposed too. I pray for him on this everyday too.

So here I write very raw at times. Some people hate it! Other love it. I wish I knew back in my younger years I loved to write my thoughts. I would have totally went to school for that. I would have better grammar for sure. It's funny that sometimes you don't get who your supposed to be till way later in life. My first goal would to to a rock star. Since I can't sing worth a lick that is out the door big time. Katy Perry you are my hero!!!! Second I crazy love taking pictures! Why didn't I know this way earlier in life???? If I did I would get this expensive camera I have now. Last is I crazy love to write, but I'm not very good at it. I'm embarrassed at times how bad the writing is. It has gotten better since I first started. Hubs fights with me lots all the time about the honesty of this blog. He says I put way too much out there. I write this for my kids. I want them to get the good, bad, and evil of parenting when they have their own family! No one ever tells you it's not all roses. I want them to feel normal when they have their own family. No one in the world is perfect, I want them to know life is a roller coaster and they have to put their hands up and scream sometimes. If they hold on tight and have faith in God it will all work out in the end! So many times you want to hold out a white flag and give up on everyone. Your family is the best thing that ever happened to you, unfortunately they hurt you the most at times. Don't be scared, it is because you care about them more than anything in the world.   So does anyone hear my WOOOO. WHOOOO yet?????

So in the am I need to get one up and out the door at 5:30am for football. Another one up at 6:45 to ride his bike to elementary, other one up at 7:15 to get to his first day of middle school! Do you feel my pain???? Oh yes, I'm helping with some crap at the middle school tomorrow thanks to my boosters friend! Life is good with these people I live with!!!!!!Once again bad grammar is awful here on this blog and miss spellings it's just too much about now! No time to proof read! I will probably re-do this when I have the time for it. Before I print all this craziness for my kids I hope to be super wealthy and have a ghost writer to fix this mess! Thank you to all the crazy people who get me! There happens to be a few!!!! LOL God give me strength in the AM!!!!!!

Time really does fly, those old asses were right!

So my first born is about to turn 15 and happens to be starting high school. Time really does fly, those old ass people really know what they are talking about. Now I happen to be one of those old ass people with those most annoying sayings flying out of my mouth. Blake...aka..the prince and I have always had a great relationship. That is until lately. I guess it's that teenage thing. I was at a pep rally tonight for the high school. It's hard for me to believe that I was there because my son is on the high school football team. I sat in front of my good friend Sue. She reads my blog and told me she too has seen the change in her son too. I was happy to hear I'm not the only one. Misery loves company comes to mind. Sometimes when your going through stuff you feel you are the only one going through it. Other kids look perfect to you and you wonder where you went wrong. Since most of this blog is written for kids when they are older and maybe just a bit to vent. I'm going to write my prince a letter.

Dear Blake,

  When you were born I feel like was still a child myself. I was just married to your Dad a year when I got pregnant. I was immature and selfish...maybe a little bit lazy too. I had planned you but really didn't know how I would handle you or what kind of mother I would be. I was 95 pounds when I got pregnant with you. Not an inch of fat on my body. I just laughed out loud when I wrote this because I thought I was fat back then. The scary thing is you weigh more than that right now. I gained 70 pounds with you. Yes, 70! I think your daddy was just a bit scared since he married a very tiny girl. I crazy loved milkshakes while I was pregnant. I got so fat my nostrils looked odd. When I went into labor with your Dad did not think I was in labor. We argued and I was right of course. Always remember your wife is right in these matters no matter what! We don't forget that crap. We drove to hospital and I called my mom first and then your dad's family. My mom wanted to get right on a plane. I told her to wait. Dad's father was so excited that he actually beat us to the hospital. After being in labor, bad labor.....I called my mom to get on a plane. She laughs when we talk about it. I called her and said...."I didn't know how bad this would hurt.....please come fast". Since your other Grandpa worked for the airlines Grandma got right on a plane. Dad's father picked her up and got her to the hospital just in time. Your Dad almost passed out when they gave me an epidural. He was trying to be a trooper but guys just don't handle this stuff that well. Dad's mom was there as well. She was a huge help before my mom got there. I knocked her diamond out of her ring while squeezing her hand during contractions. Granddad walked me up and down a hallway all day. Which seemed to be forever. See everyone couldn't wait for your arrival. You were the first grandchild on both sides and that's a big deal. I too am the first on both sides. I'm here to tell you it has it's benefits. You were the first born and so was I. That has it's benefits and its downfalls. Being the first puts a lot a pressure on you. Anyway when my mom got there I felt a weight come off me, there is something about your mom being there that makes everything better. I know it did for me.


As soon as you were born, I felt a love I had never felt before. You will not understand this till you have your child. I stared at you for hours. I couldn't believe you were mine. You were perfect in every way. You were the very first thing I did that I thought was perfect. All my fears of being too lazy or not being good enough went out the door. I laughed at things you did and faces you made. You were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. I took six weeks off of work. My mom stayed with me to help the first two. Thank God for her, she helped me so much. Dad's parents came over all the time along with all my Chicago peeps and dad's siblings. We were all just amazed by you. I had to go back to work shorty after you were born. Believe it or not I was the breadwinner back then. Now you tell me things like dad pays for everything. I'm the one that had the money to buy our first house. It hurts me when you say things like dad has all the money. We are a team, I did a lot back in my day to get us where we are now. I gave up a lot to stay home with you guys now to give you the best life possible. Someday you will get this. I remember being horrified that I had to put you in day care. I wanted to be the only one who took care of you. I just knew no one could take care of you as good as me. Back then it wasn't an option. Thank God you went to day care part time and your Mimi took care of you the other part. I knew she would take better care of you than anyone. I owe her big time for giving up all her weekends to tend to you. Knowing her I know she would not give back those times for anything. It's funny because when I think back to those times I remember picking you up. I would have had a bad day at work and I would look at your face and think God I'm blessed to have you.  You used to dance like a crazy person at all family parties. This made me laugh to to point where I would cry. I really loved being your mom and was so proud you were mine.

I will never forget the day you started kindergarten. I waited for this which seemed to be forever. When you went to a two day a week pre-K you used to cry for for me and waited at the window to see me. This broke my heart and I ended up pulling you out. I was in the Kinder thing and the principle told us how fast the years would go. Boy was she right because now you are starting HS and that seems like yesterday. I feel guilty because I was raised Irish catholic and that's how we are. When you started kinder I had a two year old and a new born baby. A new born who was not planned but I do thank God every day for that unplanned baby. I feel I didn't realize how fast it would go. I should have taken all those perfect moments in more.

When I was 36 I got diagnosed with MS. The first thing I did was call my mom because mom's make everything better. My fear was not for me it was for you and your brothers. I didn't want this to take away from your childhood in anyway. I had no time to be sick. I wanted to be the perfect mom for you and your brothers. I googled MS and feared that I could not be the mother you all needed. I felt sorry for myself and did the why me thing. I was a mom. I feel bad because the first year I feel I checked out. I feared everything about this disease. Now I ignore it and hope God will take care of me. I have big faith in God, I hope you do too.

You never really gave me any trouble. You had trouble in school and got diagnosed with dyslexia. This broke my heart, not because you had this just because school would be harder for you and I didn't want that for you. I really want life to be easy for you. But truth be told life is hard. I'm sorry you felt this too early.  Your teachers have always told me you are a good kid that tries hard. That is all I ask of you. Just do your best. I'm here to support you. I feel as long as you are a good person everything else will fall in place.

We moved when you were in the forth grade. I was scared, I hoped we were making the right move for you. You went into the move like a rock star. You made friends that you still have today. I'm still amazed by you. When I look at you now I'm shocked by the man you have turned into to. At the same time I worry about you everyday. I want things to be perfect for you. You seem lately to not get me. I have become the enemy. You have made some bad decisions lately. I don't think anything less of you. I too made bad decisions growing up. I just hoped you wouldn't. You now look at me like I  have three heads instead of I hung the moon. We seem to fight now more than we get along. I'm here to say I fight because I care about you and want to best for you. I want you to be safe. Recently you broke your jaw in two places doing something stupid. As much as I wanted to ring your neck I wanted to hug it because it could have been worst. I feel you used to listen to me. Now I feel you tell me what I want to hear and do your own thing. I'm your biggest fan who wants nothing but the best for you. When I ground you and take things away it really does hurt me. Another thing you will not get till years later. I just want you to hear me because I was a kid once making bad decisions. I don't want you to feel the heartache of those bad decisions.  Just please be a good person because that is most important. Treat people they way you want to be treated and don't do anything you have have to hide from people because you know it is wrong. The biggest thing I want for you is good heath, lots of happinest, and wealth....because that helps. Remember we live in a small town everything gets back to everyone. I love you more than you will ever understand until you have own kid. I just want you to get that no matter what happens in you life I'm your mom and love you! I'm here for you always and forever!

love, your biggest fan....MOM!

Sorry of bad grammar or what not....I'm not really smarter than a 5th grader ask Kelly...aka...twisty!!!

I may have did something right on accident

 So yesterday I woke up at ten or eleven. Don't judge a girl needs her beauty sleep. Y'all should try it. It was Hub's Bday. I told the kids we were going to Dicks to find a gift for him. They were super excited because they had saved some money to get air soft guns. While we were getting ready to leave Aidan could not find his wallet that had 50 dollars in it. He was having a major meltdown and blaming me for this. We got in the car to go and he was still melting down. I took the keys out of the car got out and told him I refused to put up with this and I would not go. So we were white trash central over here. Fighting as if we had our very own redneck reality show. Blake and his friends had a talk with Aidan because I had thrown in the lazy parenting white flag. So we head off to Dicks once again. Aidan cries a few more times. I threaten to pull over and throw his ass out. When we finally get there and walk in there is a display of Dripping Springs Under Armor shirts. Remember we are from Dripping. Cole walks right up to the display. He says...."Dad needs these two shirts because he is a coach and these would look great on him". I tell him great idea, we will get these for his Bday. He then tells me he wants to pay for them. I tell him he will not have the money to get his gun if he pays for them. He tells me that's alright. I say why don't I get one and you get the other. That way he will have half his money left. He says...."NO, I want to pay for both with my money". I almost start crying like a baby right there. I think I may have done something right with at least one of these kids. Such an unselfish moment for him. I'm so proud of him. At the same time I am proud of him Aidan walks around the store bitching about all the stuff he wants to buy but can't since his wallet is missing. We are still a work in progress over here.

After we get home Cole is super excited for Hubs to get home so he can give him his gifts. Aidan is still bitching about what he couldn't get because of his missing wallet. I have to run back out to find a gift I can give to Hubs. I drop Cole off at the school with his friends. Aidan runs over to the neighbors house to play. On my way out I drive by the neighbors to make sure Aidan is alright. I see he is in his third outfit of the day. I stop the car and call him over. I say....."WHY are you in another outfit". I ask if he thinks I love to do laundry. He looks at me and says..."Your a mom and moms do laundry". Like I said, we are a work in progress. We are not progressing the way I pictured it in my head when I had them.

I get back with a rolling cooler in hand for Hubs. I get the kids home since he will be home from work soon. He walks in and I follow him to the bedroom. I tell him the story about Cole and tell him to make a big deal about his gift. After the gifts I have to jet out to a middle school meeting. I walk in 20 minutes hot.  While in the meeting I realize I forgot to order Cole an organizer and it is too late to get him one. Mom of the year here! Having three boys all playing sports and having sleepovers every night of summer has turned my brain into mush. I really need a personal assistant to do this crap. So I leave with my head between my tail once again.

The next day my good friend from Frisco our old neighborhood comes for a visit. Before she gets here I hear myself say things like...STOP, Brush your teeth, stop fighting, don't touch him, clean up, stop fighting, brush your teeth, do you live in a barn, stop fighting, pick that crap up, stop fighting, STOP, Stop fighting, what's wrong with you, stop fighting, enough is enough, stop fighting!!!!! Is anyone else ready for school to start?????? So Michelle finally gets here. We head off to lunch. Blake...aka..the prince goes with us. While driving we are talking about his football schedule. He tells me he has to be there early tomorrow. He then says, he will be staying in tonight to get a good nights sleep so he can be on top of his game. I think...who is this kid???? I'm happy with what he is saying. We go to lunch and go back to the house. Blake's friends come over and Michelle and I take them to practice.

Later in the day I go to pick the boys up. They all get in the car and ask where Michelle is. I tell them she went home and they all giggle. I ask what they are giggling about. They are like nothing. I know damn well what they are giggling about. Michelle as I like to call her is a workout barbie. This is what she does for a living. She is a brilliant trainer. So she has the body of a hot ass 18 year old with big boobs. So I say....Y'all liked my friend didn't you????? They all say...she is pretty hot for being your friend. I love the part about ......for being your friend comment. Blake then starts on me about going to a friends house. I remind him about what he said about resting earlier. He then tells me he didn't mean that. He then says...he just said that to impress Michelle. Really????? So you want to impress Michelle, what about the person that carried you in her belly and shot you out of my who ha back in my  95 pound body days???? I hold him to what he said earlier even though he was not happy. BTW, on the way to get them I rear ended someone at the stop light. I thought I was stopping in enough time, that was until I hit her. My fear is I really did think I was stopping in time. I hope to hell it was sun in my eyes and not my MS messing me. Thank God I only did damage to my car and not hers. She was really nice about it. My fear is things don't really look right to me anymore. Sometimes things look closer or farther from this very annoying disease. I try to ignore this disease as best I can, I do not talk about it. I do not focus on it. But it does show me it is here and I have it. I really would like it if God would just give me a get out of jail free card since I'm busy trying to raise three boys!!!!

Here is my thing lately. I feel like I'm saying all the right things. I'm trying my hardest to raise good kids. But I fear that even though they say they know what I'm saying they are really not hearing me. Do you know what I mean. I feel they are telling me what I want to hear but they are not hearing me. They are doing and saying what they want behind the scenes. I don't know how to get through to Blake. It is really only Blake now but I have two more that will follow in his footsteps. Any good advice for me would greatly help. My white flag is out and I'm stumped!

Anywho, still trying to eat right and workout! It's not really working for me. I think Dr. Oz may need to move in with me so I can be successful. I don't get why I don't want the best for me but I expect it from my kids.  I fear being Irish catholic....aka...guilty that have have not been the best role model for them. I need an MRI, a colonoscopy, my boobs checked, my blood checked, but I don't do these things. Mostly because I'm busy as shit with these kids, secondly because I fear these things. I really don't have the time to hear something is wrong. I'm taking care of a kid that knows everything with a broken jaw in two places.  I should really be taking good care of myself since I have MS. I hope and believe that God will take care of me since my plate is full taking care of kids. No time for me, as many moms will agree! Botox would be nice too since these people I live with have aged me.

Sorry for bad grammar and miss spellings.  Gotta go to bed I have a full plate the next few days! BTW, I do love these people I live with but need a vacation from them as well!!

Stop drinking my wine!!!

 My children are seriously on my last nerve. I can't stand the sound of the running and jumping, the fighting and whining. The "it's no fairs", "what are we doing next?", "So and so did this". Their like tornadoes running through my house destroying everything in their paths. I can't stand the sound of the refrigerator opening and the sound of wrappers crinkling. Calgon?????? Since I'm too old to become a stoner I re-did my patio to make myself feel better. So let me set the scene for you. Right now one is on the sofa next to me flopping like a fish out of water. The other one is in the kitchen trying to blend grapes and make some strange drink. I keep hearing the blender go on and off. I'm cussing like a sailor in my head while trying to watch the bachelor pad. I don't even have a cocktail to numb the situation. I gave those up except for special occasions. I have a sneaky suspicion they might have caused this super sized ass of mine. Another one comes down and asks me what is the longest amount of time I ever made out with someone. So right away I'm brought back to 1986 in my boyfriends parents basement. White snake is playing over and over on the tape player. Bet my kids don't even know what a tape player is. His parents have a bed in the basement. Now I'm thinking were they crazy or just naive. I had my banana clip in with my over sized sweater and my stir-up pants on. Yes, at least I was dressed. We would lay on that bed for hours making out. I'm not about to tell him that though. So I think to myself....is this some kind of evil joke on me, a bad dream???? Is this the payback my parents wished on me so many times. Did he really just ask me this.  Better yet does anybody frickin sleep in this house???  Oh yes, Hub's is sleeping like a baby and I want to run down the street screaming.

Speaking of the bachelor pad, I can't believe the idiots on this show. Do they not have parents that will be watching this? I mean we all have done things were not proud of.  Acted crazy, got too drunk, or hooked up with someone we shouldn't have. Did no one ever tell these people those are called skeletons meant to be kept in the closet???  Well once in a while on a ladies night after too many cocktails a bone or two might fly out. Sometimes I even find myself trying to push them back in. I do feel bad for their parents, they must be so proud. I will probably get punished for saying this and one of these jack asses will end up on a reality show. That's when I move away never to be seen again.

 I have been nice enough to let Aidan...aka..pigpen, help out with some cooking. Even though this is sometimes more work for me. Remember his name is pigpen for a reason.

 He may have got into my wine!!!! I had to yell.....Step away from the mama juice before I knock your block off!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, he helped me make some sangria for a party we attended. Mom of the year here!!

 He usually passes out like this every night. He has single handily taken over the computer and TV. When he finally passes out I do a little happy dance in front of him while I flip him the bird. It just makes me feel better.

 Blake....aka...the prince, and I'm not talking about the charming one. He would be more like the dark one. Anyway it seems like all we do is argue lately. It makes me really sad. About five minutes into every car ride we end up in an argument. Car rides are really the only time I see him now. Because all I do is drive the princes ass around. No matter what I say, he argues with me. Then he has the nerve to tell me to chill out!!!!! I don't know about you but I shutter at the thought of telling my parents to chill out even at this age. So I cuss in my head and wonder how I messed this parenting thing up so bad. When I picked him up from football today he didn't have his football shorts on. I asked why he didn't. He says, "I have no idea where they are". I said, "did you look for them". He tells me he looked everywhere. I laugh thinking how the hell is this kid ever going to go to college. I laugh because I washed them last night folded them neatly and put them right next to shirt he has on so he would be sure to find them.  I tell him they were right next to shirt he has on. He then says....."Why are you yelling at me?". I yell......"I WASN'T YELLING". That is until now.

 Tonight I decided to do a little baking, that is until pigpen took over.

 His wife better thank me some day for teaching him how to cook.

Pigpen two, has no interest in baking. He never met a beater he didn't lick though.

So today I spent seven hours cleaning because we had a showing on our house tonight. It wasn't even very messy. See why I want to move. It's just too much house for me. So hubs comes home and I'm never in a great mood after spending the day cleaning. He says..."What's with you?". I tell him I cleaned non stop and did a shit load of laundry. I tell him the kids are like tornadoes and I'm sick of it. He looks at me with a straight face and says....."Maybe if you just do a little bit each day it wouldn't be that bad".  SCREAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!! So I sat there, I happened to have a fork in hand. I thought about flying over the island and forking him to death. A padded cell doesn't sound half bad about now.  If this house was not for sale I would stop doing just a little bit each day. I would pay money to see the look on his face when he came in from work and I didn't do a little bit all day. Bitter????? Maybe just a little bit!!!!!! My kitchen once again looks like a bomb went off in it. There is no sign that I cleaned a damn thing today. Anyway I feel like I should say...I really do love my kids, they are truly a blessing even if I'm rolling my eyes while I type this. I'm just really ready for school to start!!!!!!! Tick, tock!!!

A few momisms I forgot last night!!!

No pictures tonight! My kids have awful haircuts so I refuse to post pictures or take pictures for that matter. Last night I was on a momism roll maybe a beer roll too. I was mortified at all the bad writing I did. I fixed some today. I really do need a ghost writer. I think too fast and can't keep up with the typing.  I'm always too lazy to proof read. Hope you had a good laugh. After I wrote about it a few friends reminded me of a few more. A few more I remembered while driving around trying to find new cushions for my outdoor furniture. Which btw I went to five different Tuesday mornings getting them all. Is it sad that I'm super excited about my new cushions????? It's the little things that make me happy at the end of summer. Hubs is going to be really mad when this months bills roll in. When I'm in a funk shopping makes me happy and I'm in a funk right about now. So anyway here are a few momisms I left out last night.

1....Have you lost you mind....

To me...this means I can't believe my eyes. I can not believe how stupid you are and I can not believe I birthed you.

To them....this means what are you talking about?????

2....I'm not just talking to hear myself talk.

To me...this means....They are just not hearing me. Not listening. Oh yes and I am talking to hear myself talk.  I would bet a million dollars that they would hear me if I said I was taking them on an unlimited shopping spree......

To them...this means....What??? I didn't hear what you said!

3....This is one of my favorites. I can't believe I forgot it last night. I say this a lot. As long as you live under my roof you will do as I say!!!!

To me... this means I expect them to be my personal little army doing everything I say. I do have a famous saying in my house. I goes something like this.....Do as I say not as I do. This seems to backfire on me a lot.

To them.....This means nothing, they are going to push the envelope as long as they can. They do not care if I end up in a padded cell saying..."Hello padded cell my name is Kerry".

4....Don't let the door hit you in the ass....

To mean...this means....I'm ready for you to move the hell out. Good luck too ya!

To them....This means Mama needs some happy juice!

5....you catch more bees with honey...

To me....this means all this whining will get you no where with me....All this whining just makes me want to slit my wrist.

To them....They don't really get that whining gets you no where in life. Some day I hope they get this!

6....Because I said so....

To me....This was really a thorn in my side as a child. I hated this saying more than anything. This is the saying where parents really don't have a good excuse for not wanting you to do something. They pull out the last resort statement which happens to be.....Because I said so....

To Them....They hate this saying as well....they want a reason for why I have not decided to cater to their little asses today.

7....Don't make me come in there...

To me...this means please stop whatever your doing because I really don't want to get up off the sofa to see. I really don't want to know what your doing either.

To them...this means better stop now because Mama's head will be spinning if she has to get off the sofa and stop watching the housewives which she thinks she should be on.

8....If you can't say something nice keep it to yourself....

To me...this means I'm sick of hearing my kids fight and insult each other.

To them....They really don't give a shit or hear what I say. So they continue to insult each other.

9...You can pick your friends but you can't pick you family...

To me...This means they are stuck with me at least till they are 18. If they don't like it too bad...I pay for all their shit right now.

To them....this means right now their friends seem to me more important. They seem to bend over backwards to please them. Some day they will understand that I always had their back with the good, bad, and evil things they did. They will owe my lots of money someday.

Alright....one last famous one........"Am I embarrassing you?"

To me...this means....I hope I'm embarrassing you....because I just don't give a shit. Just call me the honey badger. I will go out of my way to embarrass you because I find it amusing.

To them....just my existence embarrasses them. It does matter if I'm dressed cool or their friends like me. To them I'm old as shit and I am not at all cool.  Some day they will get that I was way cooler than they were.

So tonight we were headed to see our former neighbors new house. They happened to move away because of our crazy neighbor. Their house sold! Our house is still sitting here on the market. It's funny because this week I ran into Aidan's Dr who happened to look at our house. Since we are from a SMALL town he happens to be everyone in the neighborhoods DR. I asked him if they found a house yet. He said..."NO". I said mine is still on the market. He said..."It's funny you say that"..."because when I looked at your house two people I take care of saw me there"....."They called to tell me that the neighbor was crazy and that's why the people are moving".  My house is so beautiful, the kind of house I dreamed about living in my whole life. Yes the neighbor is crazy but his house is for sale too. I in my lifetime have owned four houses. Each one of them sold super fast. This one not so much. I'm not moving because of him...I would never give him that satisfaction. I'm moving because this house is too big and I'm sick of cleaning it. Plus the taxes are way cheaper where we want to move. Maybe I can go in the shop if we move! Oh wait, Blake is going to be driving and off to college soon....the shop does not seem to be in my future.

Anyway we were driving to our favorite former neighbors new house when the kids started fighting. I may have had a bad mommy moment and said something like I don't give a shit. Aidan in his soft spoken voice says..."Mommy your the honey badger. Hubs really does laugh out loud. I know what your thinking....why does my nine year old know what the honey badger is. Don't judge, he is my youngest! My oldest showed him this video. Remember I'm tired and lazy for Gods sake.  Anyway Aidan tells hubs every time we are freaking out Mama says....Don't be a honey badger....just don't give a shit. Yet another proud parenting moment for me. I know I have some grammar mistakes in this but once  again it is too late to proof read. It is what it is so judge away....remember I am the honey badger and I just don't give a shit!!!!!!!!!!!

The summer of Momisms

So my summer has been filled with the famous "momisms" we never got as kids. I get them now....are you happy mommy???? The sad thing is they have different meanings to us than they do to our kids......They will probably never get them till they have their own kids. I'm going to talk about a few that I feel ALMOST everyone has heard or said at one point in there life.

1....Don't use that tone of voice with me.......

To me this means....I can't frickin believe my child is talking to me this way...How dare he!!!!!  I'm the only one who has earned the right to talk ugly or yell!!!! Yet another "WTF" moment of parenting!!!!

To them.....As far as my kids go they say....Well you are talking to me that way so why shouldn't I talk to you that way! This just chaps my ass. Hello have they ever heard of respecting their elders???

2....What did I just say????

To me.... this means I have asked them to do the same thing ten times and their still not doing it!!!!

To them....this means they did not hear a word I said and are wondering why my head is spinning and green shit is spewing out my mouth.

3....You can't judge a book by its cover

To me...this means...my oldest has had some bad judgment about who he hangs out with. I stress to him all the time we are from a small town and I will not have him ruin my super clean rep ....and yes I'm laughing out loud as I write this. Blake...aka...The prince...as my parents named him while in Chicago has a few Eddie Haskel's he hangs with. They talk a good game but mama knows best!

To him....He thinks I know nothing and am being snowed by him and these friends! Some day he will learn I'm smarter than I look. I was not being snowed at all!!!!

4....I would have never talked to my parents like that!

To me...this is somewhat true, I tested the limits for sure. I was shut down fast....but don't think I didn't go behind close doors flip them the bird and cuss them in bed.

To them....They really could give a shit what I did as a kid. They I believe could really give two shits about my childhood and how I did things.

5....If I was not here you would miss me....Or your going to miss me when I'm gone.

To me... I really just want some validation for all the shit I do for them. A little guilt never hurt either. I do believe they have taken years off my face and my life for that matter.

To them....they are thinking of all the shit they could get away with if I was gone. Secretly I think or hope they they would miss me if I was gone....who would find their SHIT???

6....If so and so jumped off the bridge would you????

To me...This means....are you really following the stupid things your friends are doing???? Didn't I do my job and teach you to be secure and make right decisions????

To them...This means I don't want to look like a dumb ass and be the one that says...my mama doesn't want me to this...

7....My all time favorite is.....Just wait till you have your own kids....you will get it then. At least I hope! I swear our own kids are our parents revenge on us! I just hope no one brings me a baby in HS! I will not be happy!

To me....this means someday they will realize the heartache, pain, sacrifice, and WTF moments we took on. It also will mean they will realize the joy, the happy times, the seeing the world again through your kids, and all the proud moments. I don't think that they know we feel their happiness and pain ten times harder than they do....

To them...this is really in one ear and out the other. They will never get this saying till they have their own kids. We are wasting our breath with this one. I swore I would never say these things since I knew they did not register but I still find these sayings flying out of my mouth! I think it's to eventually say...I told you so.

8....This place is a pigsty

To me...This means they are like tornadoes that I go behind cleaning up after!

To them...this means Mama will about this shit and after she calms her ass down she will clean it.

9...Do you think we live in a barn???

To me....This means I'm just as guilty as them of this. But since I'm the mom I can bitch at them when they do it.

To them...it's yet another in one ear out the other thing...yet another thing they don't really give a shit about!

10....So did you ever catch yourself saying....go out and play in traffic????

To me...This means I'm at my wits end...I have had it. I feel very guilty that this ever came out of my mouth but it did!

To them...This means go play in traffic....because we are invincible at this age. They don't understand after they do it why we are so mad that they did after we told them to do it.

11...Just be yourself...

To me ...this means act the way I taught you which means act like me!!! I'm not perfect by any means but I do at this age no right from wrong.

To them...this means,,,,They don't know what because they really don't totally understand who they are yet! I don't know myself for that matter sometimes and I'm in my 40's!

12....Don't ever let me catch you doing that again...

To me...this means my lazy parenting caught you doing something, I had to call you out on. Remember I am an ignorance is bliss gal.

To them...this means My mom can not see me do this again...doesn't mean I'm not going to do it!

13....It's your money, do you want to waste it??? Is it really burning hole in your pocket??

To me...It means I'm tired of listening to what you want to buy with it and I will be happier when you have no money.

To them...it means immediate gratification which unfortunately is how kids are raised now.

14...I'm going to count to three...

To me...this means I hope to God they stop what they are doing at three....but if they don't I'm fucked!

To them...It means I may want to stop before three but the older they get they test that theory.

15...Wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you...

To me...This means I'm tired of their smart ass mouth. I really in all reality would like to wipe that shit ass smile off your face...I imagine it but know I can't really go there...but don't think I haven't thought about it!

To them...they know good and well we are so full of shit and we would never wipe that smile off their face!

16....I brought you into this world and I will take you out of it.

To me...this is the last straw threat...I know I can not take them out unless I want jail time...but yet I say it!

To them...they are smart little fuckers and they too know we can not take them out. So they really don't give a shit about this saying!

17...Your face might stay that ugly way!

To me...This is a why the fuck do you make this face??? I can't slap it off you so I will try this old ass saying on you.

To them....They test it in the mirror if they are anything like me and then know that you are full of shit with this one!

18....Do you think your stuff is going to pick itself up??

To me...It means I'm tired of going behind them picking it up but truth be told I like a clean house. I will pick it up and bitch about it.

To them...It means I will bitch about it but they don't care because they know I will pick it up.

19..Just wait till your father gets home...

To me...this means I'm at my wits end once again and I'm going to throw the ball in hubs court.

To them...this means they are fucked! I could scream and cry and for some reason when hubs just talks to them they shiver. Let me tell you I'm way more mean them him yet his voice does things to them I can't do!

20.....You made your bed now lie in it...

To me...I really hate this saying, yet I find myself using it. I have in "my time" found myself in a few beds that I needed to get the hell out of! But my kids really don't need to know that till later in life!

To them...They have no idea what this saying means...until many years later!

21...Nothing good happens after midnight!!

To me...I here to tell you that saying is SOOOO TRUE!

To them...I have three heads and don't have a clue...I guess they will have to live and learn on this one.

22...This hurts me more than you.

To me...It really does hurt me more than them. I hate when things aren't bliss...really.....they just don't get it now. What they don't get is I have their back and there are few people they will meet that truly have their back.

To them...I'm the devil trying to stop them from doing what they want. The fun police. They think I'm the awful one....trying to break the party.

23...You can't find it??? Did I have it last or did you???

To me..This is a true pet peeve of mine....I mean really your asking me where your shoes or clothes are??? Did I wear  them??? I don't think so!!! So where the fuck did you leave your shit??? Even Hubs does this.

To them...It means mom should be able to find their shit even if she didn't wear it!!!!

24....No means NO!

To me...No means No...

To them...No???? What the hell is no??? I'm going to argue this point till you give up.

25....No child of mine would do something like that...

To me...This means you have ruined my non tarnished name in dripping!

To them....They really don't get it or give a shit! It's all about them.

26...Am I talking to a brick wall???

To me..This means they are not hearing me or obeying me.

To them..this means yes you are for sure talking to brick wall. I remember being that brick wall!

27...Money doesn't grow on trees..

To me...this means they have no idea all the shit I could have bought if my money didn't go to them. My checkbook is on fire as I write with all the sports stuff. Do they even get I could have gone in the shop to take the years off my face if I didn't have to pay for all this??

To them...I really do believe they think money grows on trees! I fell like an ATM,  pull my arm and money comes out. They are in for it when I kick their ass out at 18 and go to the nearest  plastics doctor! I went home this summer. I have a few friends from catholic school that never married or had kids. They look great! I swear kids age you!

28...Don't make me tell you again...


To me ...this means I have said the same thing way to much!

To them...this means nothing!!!!!!!

29....When your the parent you can make the rules...

To me...Means they do not like the rules or agree with them. Tough shit, Dad and I own this house you are temporary guest in it. Your damn lucky that we have worked hard and provided you with the best things. Your in for a rude awakening when your on your own.

To them...Once again in one ear out the other. They are living the dream...Iphone, Xbox. hanging with friends, and not paying for a thing. Their meals cooked, rides provided, a nice comfy bed to sleep in, and everything is done for them. They could give a shit about when they are parents or have to provide for themselves. Why should they???

30.....I'm not here to entertain you!!

To me...this means I have really bent over backwards to entertain you this summer and your still not happy. Who the hell entertained me this much at my age anyway???

To them...this means....we did not do anything today...what do you have planned tomorrow??/? Are kids these days ever happy?????

Oh boy, these people I live with need to go back to school! God bless the teachers in the world!!!!!

bald and not that beautiful

 So after I high tailed it out of the camping trip on Saturday. I got home to watch lifetime for a good cry. I looked forward to my naked bed angels which are few and far between. While watching lifetime I got a text from my dear friend Michelle. She recently moved about an hour and a half away from me. We met while I was living in Frisco TX. My middle one and her youngest started playing soccer together when they were barely four. We became fast friends. She is what I like to call a workout barbie. She was known in Frisco for her palates classes. Before we formally met my friend Kimberly and I took a few of her classes. We would be at the back huffing and puffing and not being able to keep up or balance on those god awful balls. Michelle had that perfect ass and great personality that we would bitch about when we left. We quit her class because we really could not stand to look at her perfect ass. Instead we would have ladies night and drink beer. This is why we are in the predicament we are in now. Anyway I get a text from her that says her kids are on her to come visit. I say the kids are camping but Hub's says they will be wrapping it up early afternoon Sunday. So Sunday after many naked bed angels I wake up and call Hub's. I tell him Michelle and the kids are coming. I ask him what time I can expect him since they are driving out by us. He tells me they will leave at 3 or 3:30.

This is where my story turns into men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. They get to the house around three. I tell them my family should be on the way. We hang out and catch up. Now Michelle has the gift of gab and can talk forever. I love that about her. I laugh at all her funny stories. At 4:30 when the family should be pulling in I get a text from my friend who is camping with Hub's that says...still on the lake. I will not tell you what I text back but is was not pretty. They roll in about six and I am beyond feeling foolish.

Now here again is my men are from Mars and women are from Venus theory. I'm mad at him and he's mad at me. I'm mad that he didn't call to tell me they would be late. He's mad that I made last minute plans and put them on a time restraints. He doesn't get why I'm mad and I don't get why he is mad. I tell him so if your boss called and asked you when you would be to work and you said 8am. Then your boss calls back at 9:30 and your still in bed would you think that was alright???? Never really got an answer on that but I'm here to tell you he would have been at work at 8am. This is my beef, Marriage is also work....as unfortunate as that sounds it is. I expect the same effort into our marriage as he puts into to work. I just want the same respect an effort he puts into to work. I ask him why he didn't call. His answer is a typical male answer......I knew you would be pissed and I didn't want to deal with it. So now I'm 100 percent more pissed and you like dealing with that???? We never did see eye to eye on this. I'm just wondering if I'm the only one going through this kind of stuff.

 After they finally got back we headed to the famous salt lick for some good BBQ. This is a picture of Amber and Blake. Now Amber and Blake went to school together from kindergarden through third grade before we moved to Austin. It used to crack Michelle and I up because at their brothers games they would not talk to each other but would do silly things to get each others attention. Blake would roll down hills like a jackass and she would jump up and down like a typical girl. After we moved here they would come and visit and Blake and her would sleep in the game room with the dog barely saying two words to each other. It's funny because one of Michelle's sisters moved two blocks away from us about three years ago. Small world right.??? Anyway last time they came these two also said about two words to each other. This time same thing. After they left I asked Blake what he thought about Amber. He said....She is hot. I laugh because boy had no game and I think I'm aright with that. This is one of my perfect arranged marriage girls. I like the parents and that girl is perfect for him right???? I believe this is not how it will turn out. They do make a cute couple though.

 While at salt lick we had to laugh. There was this guy there that carried a teddy bear in this contraption. I tried to get a better picture but didn't want to be obnoxious. But really...weird right?????? His wife was pregnant so I guess he was practicing!!!! What a jackass!

 Cole who is not really bald and beautiful still maintained his entertainment status. Boy went outside while we waited  for food and made friends with all the people waiting. Yet he wants me to get him out of drama class...go figure. If our kids could only age in reverse they would know we knew what was best for them.

Anyway since bald is not really beautiful in this family. You will not see many pictures of them till their hair grows out. I still want to strangle Hub's for letting them do this. Aidan really did have that perfect sun kissed hair, the kind we all would give our hubs nut for. Now don't get me wrong I do believe bald is beautiful when someone loses their hair because they are fighting cancer. So all weekend my house that happens to be for sale remained perfect except for bad sheets due to naked bed angels. They and I mean these people I live with were home for five minutes and my kitchen looked like this. The only thing I can say about them is they are like bad house guest!!!!!!

So tonight I went to a football meeting that ended up at a bar. Your shocked right??? What I can say about this is.....ladies night used to be topics about your movie star get out of jail free card. Now that I have a teenager ladies night has turned into...what are we going to do with a teenager. How will we handle teen drinking and teen sex and WTF do we do with teenagers???? I want to believe I'm a good mom but I'm here to tell you when your kids get to a certain age you are clueless. I think back to my teens...though I spent a lot of mine grounded I know what was going on when I wasn't. This scares the shit out of me. I think teenagers are our parents revenge on us. I just pray to God every day that he gives me strength and guides me in the right direction. All  the things that I swore at Blake's age I could handle I don't believe my kids can handle.

On one last note. I brought this stone Mary home from Chicago from my Grandmothers yard. It had been there as long as I can remember. I didn't put her in the yard I put her on my fireplace. Now I have always had very vivid dreams. My dreams always seem to revolve around my Grandmothers house. Since she died I still dreamed about her house. The dreams were always in her house or around her house but always different. Once in a while she was in them but few and far between. Since I put that Mary on my mantel I have been still dreaming about her house. Hub's snores like a crazy mother you know what. Most nights I get my pillow and a blanket and end up on the sofa across from Mary. Since I got home I have had vivid dreams of my Grandmothers house but now she is there. I probably loved my Grandmother more than most people, I always looked up to her more than anyone besides my parents. Well truth be told I love my parents more than anyone but my Grandmother was perfect to me. So I've been dreaming a lot about her and is it like she is here in the present. When I wake up I find myself wanting to go back to sleep to have more time with her. I know what your thinking.......I'm drinking......that is not the case. I have not been drinking in fact I have been bitching at my belly that won't go away. I shake it and say....You asshole, I gave up drinking, dr peppers, cheeseburgers, and I'm working out and your still here...WTF. I'm serious too I do shake it around to bitch at it!!!!!!!! sorry for bad grammar and miss spelling....as much as I wish I was a writer or a rock star it is just not in my cards......

camping like rednecks

 So like I said my Hub's and kids went camping for the weekend. I had the whole house to myself. So last night I got in bed and did bed angels. I woke up at 11 spooning the dog once again. I got up and was lonely...crazy right!!!! I worked out....don't choke on your food...I did work out. I hung around the house for a while. I had dreams of shopping but I headed out to the campsite for a while. Pathetic??? Yep a little bit.

 Last night Hub's sent me a pic of my youngest child with the most redneck haircut I have ever seen.....remember I'm a city gal at heart. So I drive out there and stop at the grocery store to buy them lots of junk food and a few healthy things. When I get to the campsite I'm sorta surprised to see that Cole too has an awful redneck haircut. They did text me that they all had this but I thought they were joking. Cole looks awful!!!! All I can think is I should have never let them go away without me.

We had a great day on the lake.

They wanted me to stay. Um Hell no!!!!! I can't imagine sleeping in a camper with them. The smells would be too much! Plus I'm getting used to these bad angels I've been doing every night.

You might be a redneck if........You have a God awful Haircut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shout out to Brian McClure....LOL

So I high tailed it out of there at about ten. When I got to the gate a young boy walked up to the car. I thought he worked there. Him and his friend needed a ride to the main road. So I drove them. My Mom is going to die when she reads this. Anyway they told me how nice my car was. I asked how old they were. They were 20. They asked me how old I was I said 40. Just a little white lie. Who counts after 40 anyway. So I drop them off. One knocks on my driver side window. I roll it down and he says.....Hey can I get a kiss??? He then says...I never have got a kiss from an old hot lady. So I totally made out with him like I was in high school.........Got ya! Just kidding. I said No thanks.....ewweeee!!!! I went home put on lifetime and cried like a baby....Life is good!

Home Alone

So Hub's decided to take the kids camping for the weekend! I decided to opted out. To say I've been smiling from ear to ear is an understatement. Smiling, giggling, singing, dancing, and laughing out loud is more like it. This is the very first time I've had my house to myself in my life. Don't get me wrong I love them but a break is way over due. They walked out the door at about 430 on Thursday. I contained my happy dance till the door closed. Then it was on like Donkey Kong. The house was clean , quiet, I have control of the TV, the computer, and I'm going to do naked bed angels in my big bed by myself. After I ran around the house laughing and dancing I headed out with a few of my favorite gals. We went out for a nice dinner and then headed to the nutty brown for some karaoke.

We were having lots of fun. My singing is God awful but it was still fun. It's sad that my dream in life is to be a rock star and I can't sing worth a lick.

My gals rocked it to the Devil went down to Georgia! I'm smiling just thinking about the night.

At 40 I still manage to turn a few heads. Maybe it's because I still manage to act like a super ass at my age but who cares! Turning a head is turning a head.

I whipped off my shoes and did my famous Kerry dance moves! Anything for a little attention. So needless to say I was so tired after all of my singing, dancing, entertaining, and giving people something to talk shit about. I woke up the next day in my clothes with my makeup spooning the dog......but I woke up smiling.

Blake....aka...THE TEENAGER actually stayed behind from camping that night. He doesn't count though it's like I'm by myself with him there anyway. I had to take him to the Dr. to get his wires cut out of his mouth. So we headed out to the Dr. He blasted and I mean blasted music all the way there. When we got there and he was in the chair, I became overwhelmed with emotion. I had to excuse myself. I went in to the bathroom and had a mini breakdown. To see your child hurt is the worst thing in the world. To know that it could have been way worst really scares the shit out of me. I can't help but thank God that he didn't break his neck. I just want my kids to be happy and healthy. I don't ever want them to experience anything bad. After my break down I went back in. The Dr told me he can eat but only soft foods for the next four weeks. He has to keep the medal brackets on still. He actually has to have another surgery to get those off. We walk out and he says....find a taco bell right now. He wants some soft tacos. While we drive around for an hour looking for taco bell we have a really good talk....these are far and few between these days. I ask him how it feels to be able to open his mouth. He says the best thing is being able to yawn. I say...Oh yeah how did you yawn???? He says he would have to make a grunting noise to yawn. He then told me how he shoved chips in his mouth and sucked them wet because he was desperate to eat. I laughed out loud. I had this fear the whole time his mouth was wired shut that he would get the stomach flue. I pictured him puking out his ears and nose and me trying to cut the wires out. The Dr did give us a wire cutter in case this happened!!!!! I then asked him if he texted my sister back. I have had lots of complaints from family about him not returning text. I have been on his ass about all of them. He tells me he didn't have time to respond because he has been busy. I laugh out loud again....I say busy with WHAT???? Xbox and texting your friends????? He laughs and says yes! I tell him family is way more important than friends. They are there forever no matter what you do and they give you money on your bday and Xmas. I tell him you don't want to mess that up. We finally find a taco bell and he is like a kid at Xmas. After this I drive him out to the campsite. Hub's wants to know if I want to stay....UM Hell no! I drive away still smiling and sing all the way home.


I have a few girls over!!!! It was great no one bothered me for anything. The girls left and I settled in for a good lifetime cry fest. The dog and me were all settled on the sofa together. No one walked by to say....Why do you watch this shit! Then I get a text from Hubs with a picture. It is my youngest with his head shaved into a Mohawk. Are you kidding me!!!!! WHY....this kid has the most beautiful sun kissed hair from summer. I would cut off Hub's left nut for hair like this! It even looks crooked! Talk about a buzz kill. Now one of my best girlfriends is there camping with her family! I think she should have been the voice of reason. I'm just hoping that they all don't come home shaved like this. They are not going to kill this mood though. This mood reminds me of my youth. Ya know the mood when the guy you wanted to call calls and you just feel great. Yep that is the mood I'm in!


So I'm still on the sofa watching Dr OZ now. I'm thinking my Mom..aka...Debbie Downer is going to read this. She is going to call me and tell me I should not have blogged out being home alone because someone could break in and kill me. Hub's is kind of turning into a Debbie too. He told me to make sure I lock my car because someone could use my garage door opener to break in and steal shit. See he was not worried about me he was worried about our shit....LOL. I found out last night that my crazy neighbor reads this blog. If your a regular reader you know I have blogged not that nice about him. There have been a lot of neighbors that sold their houses lately. So he has been telling all the new be people that I blog about him. I have written this blog for three years now and I only blogged about him twice. I do wonder who the hell told him about the blog, it's not like were friends on Facebook. He has been very well behaved lately. I'm knocking on wood as I write this. There is so many crazy things he has done to us and other neighbors. He actually told one neighbor that I was the Devil.......Well that is bs because if I was I would have taken his ass down. Anyway I'm about to get in bed and do some naked bed angels!!!!!!! Oh yes I'm still smiling from ear to ear!!!!!!